Style for the older lady

[Keynote1]

I think I am probably older than most on here, 58, retired with grandchildren but lots of interests.

I am in a total fix with clothes, buy too much because I end up thinking it is too young for me and I should be dressing like a 60 year old granny (not saying all 60 year old grannies even dress like grannies or even how grannies look)

My style has pretty much been the same for 35 years, frilly collar blouses, jumpers, jeans, ankle grazer trousers and pumps. I do wear dresses occasionally. I have never been one for tight clothes or short dresses as they never looked right .
Now I am the age I am and bigger than I was I am worried that what I thought was a classic style in my younger years is too young for me.

Any older ladies out there who could let me know what they feel comfortable in, indeed any advice welcome.

I don't mean older in a bad way, just not 20s/30s.

But if we’re fortunate we spend most of our lives not being in our 20s or 30s. Where is the use in self-defining as being ‘older’ than that, rather than glorying in being 50 or 70 or whatever?

OP, my thing is dresses. I don't own this particular dress from Anthropologie but it's been a big hit on this forum and in real life. It's gone through various colour combinations and is now in its autumn colours.

This dress can and is worn by women in their 20s to any age with breath left in their body. This is just one example but I picked it because it's been such a successful design.

Bettina dress

You said you don't really wear dresses but I'm sure someone else can give you an example for trousers.

C'mon now @Keynote1!

'The older lady'?

I'm a mere stirpling at 52, and I ain't no lady!

You speak about yourself as a woman of my great grandmother's generation. You're younger than my oldest sister, and she's pretty bloody vibrant.

And I'm glad @Floisme got in there first, because she'll give you some great advice. BUT I also take umbrage at the 'No-one's looking at you' they are, they absolutely are, and I guarantee people look at you @Floisme.

I'm not sure men look at me as the last word in sex appeal any more, but women certainly see me, and I've been told on many occasions 'I want to be you when I grow up', which warms my cockles.

Anyway, I digress!

What do you want @Keynote1? What is it you're after?

Is there a specific reason for your question? Or just a general feeling of wanting more from your clothes?

I think you would get more practical suggestions if you gave your budget, dress size, and what your daily lifestyle is like. What are these interests that you need clothes for?

There is no such thing as being too old for anything. Being a granny is irrelevant.

Have you really, since the age of 13, in 1978, dressed in frilly blouses, ankle grazers and pumps?

I find that quite tough to imagine. Did you really go through your entire teen years from the late 70's to the late 80s in frilly blouses and pumps. And then seguaged the 90s in your 20s in frilly blouses and pumps?

Really?

I apologise if I sound a bit hectoring, but I don't know many women a little older than me who describe themselves as 'older ladies'.

Sorry if I'm being a dick, I'm just trying to get a picture so you can get the best advice. Have you lead quite a sheltered life?

Can you post an example of something you've bought and thought was too young for you?

Or something you're thinking of buying but think is too young?

I actually apologise!

Time has slipped away from me.

35 years ago was 1988, and you were 23!

Still, my point stands, have you been wearing the same uniform since then? Were you ever interested in fashion or clothes or is this an awakening?

I'm your age, not retired, not a granny yet.

I think you could morph your style into 'dark academia' - maybe not the whole nine yards but a fair facsimile.

I recommend you take a look at Pinterest for inspiration.

Wear what you want and feel good in. There's no rule that says once you get to a certain age you need to dress in a certain way, have your hair a certain way etc. It's such a shame that people limit themselves this way.

I'm older than you and I'm currently embracing the following. wide leg trousers with fitted t shirts, cross body bag and oversized jacket. Long dresses with clumpy sandals (trainers at a push). I'm wearing the same as women young enough to be my daughters but I don't care, I think I look ok. Use instagram and TikTok for inspiration. Look at an account called embracingfifty on instagram. She has some good ideas.

I am a grandma and early retired in my mid 50's, If someone said that I should dress like an older lady I would give them a poke with my steel toe capped boots as I rode past them on my motorcycle. I go to rallies, gigs and festivals as well as a million other things that have nothing to do with age.
Age does not define who you are.
People in their 20s and 30s do not 'own' style, beauty, fashion etc.
I don't know a single person who wants to dress like an older lady. Everyone I know, of all ages, dresses exactly how they want and don't give a fuck about whether they look age appropriate. Because it's not a thing. My dmum and auntie's are mid/late 80's and don't come out with such things. They still care about make up, hair, style and dressing well.
Is this real? Or just another ageist thread? Hopefully not because I am sick of ageist crap on MN especially S and B.
Feels off though.

Skipping past the age thing, you sound like you're in a rut; I'm imagining you as a young woman dressing classically in that sort of 80s sloany look and then getting stuck there. You think it's young because you picked the style when you were young (ironically, I always thought it made people look older) and it sounds like you've stayed a similar shape and lifestyle, so just kept on going. But you are right for most of us mid 50's and above, bodies change, so its a great time to shift things about.

Can you describe a style you admire or a way you'd like to be dressed? Pinterest would be a good start. Start with classic style for women, and you may be within your current comfort zone but updated. Then click on images you like and see where it takes you. I suggest making a list of common ideas that come up and then see how that works with what you already have or start a shopping list of what you need. There's a thread called Thanks to S&B, I'm finally winning in the "pursuit of elegance. This might also provide some inspiration.

Use this thread to post things you like, I'm sure many of us can point you in further directions based on that.

I'm imagining you as a young woman dressing classically in that sort of 80s sloany look and then getting stuck there. You think it's young because you picked the style when you were young

I wish I’d had the wit to write this!

Of course … Lady Diana Spencer circa 1981: Country Life portraits and Tatler having a field day, the solemn marriage of Cambridge undergrads to Laura Ashley piecrust collars …

But how would the soon to be PoW dress today, if …? Amal Clooney or country wife? Or something else entirely?

My advice would be to forget about ‘fashion’ and dress in clothes that suit you.
Go into a big store (M &S?) and try on trousers in every style; do the same with tops and dresses and try and honestly appraise yourself.
Can you afford to have your colours done? Wearing the right colour especially against your face can really lift your complexion.

Have you looked at Sézane? It's quite classic in style, sometimes with a twist, so you wouldn't be too far out of your comfort zone.

Well I did say posters would disagree with me (about no-one looking) and here you all are!

I'm not going to reply on here (happy to discuss it on another thread) and in a way I regret saying it, not because it didn't happen to me (it absolutely did) but because, if posters keep on bringing it up, it could end up derailing the thread.

I raised it because it helped me, and because I think the op sounded anxious, and because I think that, if she wants to rethink her style, and if she's been wearing that same kind of style for decades, then it's probably going to involve stepping out of her comfort zone and taking some risks. And also that she may not get it right first time. I was trying to say to the op that, compared to some of the other risks we might take (having a child/changing jobs/giving up work/ whatever) getting dressed every day is one of the most enjoyable because, outside of your own imagination, there's really very little at stake.

That was my point: that there's no need to stress about it and that it's fun. Now let's get back to the op's post.

Maybe I should have given this a different title, I didn't mean older in a derogatory way, just the fact that I am no longer a 25 year old but almost 60 which I can't deny. I don't dress like my granny did or probably even feel like that, times have changed. Maybe I am just jn a rut.

I suppose one of the replies was right in that my style which probably was a bit Lady Di in the 80s has carried on through to now snd I maybe have suddenly realised that although I have changed it slightly to make it more modern (brettons, cropped jeans), I am still wearing the same wardrobe which maybe no longer suits me as much as a 58 year old as it did as a 25 year old (I still quite like the 7/8 trousers and flats as I am not a heels girl)

Thank you for all the ideas, this most certainly was a genuine question, not sure why it would be thought otherwise, I will be taking ideas on board.

I didn't take it as a derogatory comment op (and trust me I've had plenty of fights on this board about ageism). I took it as factual.

So you're a Lady Diana dresser and now you'd like to be a bit more ...... who? Forget about whether or not you think it would suit you, whose style do you admire?

Age doesn't matter.

My MIL is 75 and channels Anna Wintour vibes and shops in Zara.

She always looks fabulous!

Selfishly - it would be helpful to me if women of my age would stop falling over themselves to apologise for existing …

Absolutely this.

I'm only 41 but already planning to become delightfully obnoxious about taking up metaphorical space as I get older.

Am planning to be Anna Wintour x Iris Apfel x Granny Gangster chic with more tattoos than a sailor.

I'm 64 and don't consider myself an "older lady" at all. I wear whatever I want, and it's pretty much the same as what I have always worn. Honestly, you don't have to change your style once you attain some magic age - unless you really want to of course.

Well I for one, have no issue with describing myself as an older woman. Why should I? 'Older woman' isn't a look or a style or a personality defect, and if some people choose to see it as that then that's their problem not mine and I'm not changing my language to pacify them. But age is still real.

And come on people, age hasn't stopped me loving clothes and fashion but I'm not going to pretend it hasn't changed the way I look or the way certain clothes look on me, which I think is all the op is saying. I don't see how it helps to deny any of this.

I’ll be delighted to be called an old woman - eventually. Totally fine with that. The old women in my family are all utterly brilliant, witty, acerbic, curious; full of experience and embracing of novelty.

But ‘older lady’ is a vile descriptor, laden with derogatory implications. Older than what, exactly? What it usually means is ‘a bit too old to be welcome here, because everyone else is 25’. And ‘lady’? We all know what that means.

Nah …

I'm 54. Not an older lady, that's my almost 82yo mum, (who buys more clothes than me)
I am currently in the garden with a coffee, in pale orange Boden shorts and a TK Maxx crocheted (sp) top.
Yesterday was denim cut off shorts and a Thought vest top.
Out on Wednesday night, green linen trousers and a Desigual sequinned top.
I wear uniform at work and at home I'm a jeans/shorts and t-shirt/jumper kinda girl, so no fashionista, but I notice what people wear and I love clothes.