Self care, self worth - scruffy women on manoeuvres!

[Libelula21]

Following on grin the conversation on the thread about ‘the secret’

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/4873152-anyone-else-never-told-the-secret?page=3&reply=128454481

here’s a thread about getting ourselves together, getting [a bit of] a glow on, and learning the grooming habits we were never taught and never learned.

Well-groomed women, you are welcome to drop in and share your secrets too! :-)

Love this idea. Recently swore to myself I’m not going to be that scruffy mum on the school run, having my dc in quick succession I’ve put myself to the bottom of the pile for far too many years now! Here to follow and get any tips!

I’m still here! Today is my second day of intermittent fasting, and I’m going out in some semi decent clothing!

I found some nice stuff on joanieclothing.com 👍🏼

Any updates from anyone else?

Hahaha! :-)

I’ve reduced notifications so don’t see everything straightaway, but thanks for the clarification!

@Cleethorpes good tips. I have shortish hair, but bought a £10 keratin mask packet thing, and quickly putting in for 5 minutes after washing my hair - due to time limitations.

@AgingDisgracefullyHere I’ve not got onto shoes yet, I’ve only got about 4 pairs. Very wide feet make it harder for me, someone has recommended Hotter for this.

@TokyoSushi I know the widen-or-wizen dilemma! I’m a size 18 just now, but would go for a size 12 because a) I think wrinkles can make you look characterful in a way that being overweight doesn’t and more importantly b) thinner is healthier, and health trumps appearance.

I’ve not done much due to the heat. I can do more from next week. However, I have changed my breakfast to a healthier one. I’ve greatly cut down on evening eating. I did cut and shape my nails, but they’ll grew again, so I need to re do them. I’m taking more care to style my hair and I’m looking at treatments to smooth my skin texture and potentially join the gym.

I’m trying not to eat between 8pm and 10am, with hopes to make that longer.

And I’ve joined a gym too.

Hope the fasting is going well.

I love the Joanie clothing stuff, thanks for the recommendation.

I have had a clear out and sold some stuff on vinted, given that the first advice to looking better is get a good bra I'm planning to invest the profits in this.

Does anyone have any recommendations for bra brands? I'm pretty flat chested though I don't think I'm an a cup anymore since breastfeeding, but still a big band size. Do I need to go somewhere to be measured (would rather not as it's a bit of a trek to the nearest lot of big shops and would have to take car sick toddler) so can I just measure myself and buy online? I've lived in nursing bras for the past 8 years so no idea really, prior to that tended to buy in supermarket clothing sections if on sale

I'd recommend Bravissimo for measuring, although there's a Facebook group called Boob or Bust which gives info on how to measure yourself if getting to the shops is tricky.

The Bravissimo fitter told me that plunge/balcony/half cup styles were best for me post-breastfeeding as I had lost volume on the top of my breasts, but you may have a different outcome!

I am getting a tiny bit pudgy around the middle so I'm going to start addressing that before it gets worse.

I have an appointment to get my roots done Monday but I don't know if I trust her to trim it. I think I'd better book in at the more expensive salon where I got a good cut a year ago.

The fasting tanked because my Dad went into hospital. I’m giving up drinking too, and the recommendation is to not make too many diet changes. Weight is static :(

I loved my Joanie boilersuit, but be warned - the seam frayed really fast, so I’ve sent it back, awaiting a replacement!

i need to get back on the self care wagon. It had improved and now I’ve gone back to my old ways.

i had nail extensions done, but now they’ve half grown out - does anyone know how I get my fake baked on nails removed without trashing my natural nails?!

I don't think there's any way to remove acrylics without the nails getting trashed. But you can try to soak them off with hot acetone at home. Get a very gritty file to open up the surface then soak for a long time. Scrape off what you can, then soak again. Repeat, etc. If you go to a salon they'll rush it and grind them more.

I'm just reading my way through the other thread. @Bloatstoat I second Bravissimo for bras, and a good bra makes such a difference to how everything looks. I think that they have an online fitting guide if you can't get to a shop, I know my friend did this in lockdown and then ordered a couple to see what worked.

@Libelula21 I'm sorry your dad is ill. Intermittent fasting works well for me when I do it, I'm on holiday at the moment so not sticking to it. I have wide feet and as well as Hotter I recommend Josef Seibel. Not cheap but you can often find them on Vinted of eBay.

Thanks @SydneyCarton and @MerelyPlaying , I will definitely bravissimo a go. I had thought they were more for larger sizes, but it turns out that they have a really good range of all sizes, and after not measuring for a good few years I am now where near the bra size I thought I was and am now a larger size anyway! Hopefully it will make a difference.

Sorry to hear about your dad @Libelula21 . I am also not gaining not losing at the moment, no big reason for me just a lot of low level stressful stuff that is making it hard to focus.

I've booked myself in for a lash lift along with my usual brow tidy, I struggle putting on mascara so I'm hoping this will make my eyes look open and awake all the time, we shall see!

Overdue a haircut as well, it makes so much of a difference when your hair is as thin as mine and I'm trying to keep on top of it now.

This might be of interest

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2023/sep/29/21-things-ive-learned-about-skin-care-sali-hughes

My ‘secret’ is:
Good, well fitting, matching underwear.
Eyebrow threading.
Manicure (at home).
Ironed clothes.
Perfume.
Eyeliner, mascara and blush.

But I am reading with great interest:)

I would definitely recommend it for a toddler free day @Bloatstoat ! They will probably take you down a band size and up a cup size; I went from 36DD to 34E which doesn’t sound much but I could feel the difference. Much better support from the band and less pressure from the straps on my shoulders.

I have had a long overdue haircut (bob) and finally bought a round brush so I can properly blow dry it. Unfortunately I erred on the small side and the brush is really too thin but it’ll do for now. Going on holiday in a couple of weeks so will book an appointment for brow shaping and eyelash tinting, plus gel nails if I have time. Home manicure if not!

this is an old thread now, but I just thought I’d update that I’ve gone on a diet and have lost 10lbs!

I’m losing weight partly through walking outdoors, so am slowly adopting using sunscreen into my, fingerquotes “regime”, as well as a retinol night moisturiser.

But I need to start ironing more clothes and blow drying my hair, next goals up!

I got a hand held clothes steamer OP its really good!

I just found this thread and thought it sounded like something is trying to tell me something! I'm am vaguely aware of starting to look like Wurzel Gummidge's cousin 😂

Well done!

Well done @Libelula21 - 10lbs is brilliant! I have managed to shed the Christmas weight, but nothing else seems to be moving.

I am a very basic, soap-and-water is fine, sort of girl. I am going to own up now to being completely ignorant about skincare, I genuinely didn't know that you were supposed to moisturise at both ends of the day. Amazingly, since October I have been using a hot cloth cleanser (which I already had in my stash of 'stuff I will use when I'm a grown-up') and moisturising at night and my skin is hugely improved. I'm also using a SPF moisturiser in the morning, ha ha not much sun at the moment but it's a good habit.

Change is possible, just a few steps at a time. I think I need retinol next.

I related to this post SO much! I have had exactly the same experience- noticed friends who are constantly doing little things to keep on top of their house/appearance, tried to copy and it works for a while but then I lapse as I just want to feel fully relaxed at times and not vigilant about my appearance/the house. I wish it could just be automatic/second- nature.
Really glad this thread is revived, I got some good tips from the last one, best of which was the revlon one step. It's really boosted my self - esteem to have decent- looking hair every day.

Things that make a significant difference to me-
Regular exfoliating, twice a week in shower
Never skip evening and morning skincare routine, cleanse, vitamin c and moisturizer
Self tan for face in winter
Under eye reflective concealer for bags
Eyebrows always neat and filled in
Hair done, usually up but not just scraped up, put up more carefully so it looks nice

In essence as long as my skin looks good - concealer, light foundation - and brows are done I can be out and about looking fairly groomed

Ah, it’s nice that people are still here. I think a lot of likeminded people are here (and some helpful women who have ‘nailed it’)… it’s good to think we can continue [trying] to improve.

I could have written @SmallTreeDeepRoots post word for word too…

What’s the Revlon one step tip, @Newnamesameoldlurker ?

Interesting to hear that a skincare routine actually makes a difference… the cynic in me puts all the routines etc down to beauty industry marketing.

I skipped the “Christmas haircut” because salons usually offer 20% off in quiet January, but I’ve not seen any offers this year, and I haven’t had my haircut yet! A bit skint.

The diet is a revelation. So much more fresh veg and protein to keep within my calorie allowance… but it’s more expensive, and I realise some of my weight gain was due to a kind of thriftiness / stinginess. Pasta is so cheap. But in my case my weight gain was going to cause problems down the line so I see now it’s a false economy. Once my weight is down I’ll try to rebalance calories / nutrition / carbs / cost (and carrots are really cheap!!) Better a punnet of strawberries than a packet of biscuits.