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Help finding dress for DD16

58 replies

TriceratopsRocks · 24/05/2023 17:24

DD16 currently lives in oversized hoodies and denim shorts all year round. She's 5'9", size 18-20, about a FF/G cup (using Boob or bust) and incredibly self-conscious. Hence the permanant OS hoodies. She's also ND and extremely particular about what she will/won't wear. She has her school prom next month, and I need help finding her an outfit. We are in a small town and have few actual shops available (and she hates clothes shopping).

We have browsed the internet together for ideas and the outfit she most liked the look of is this (with the tutu underskirt) https://walkers.style/shop/225311/plu/plu_the_dress_pl225311 However she would prefer some proper sleeves (short or long, as long as they go over her shoulder) and a more relaxed fit. She isn't after anything traditionally 'prommy' and will most likely be in her black doc martins. Can anyone help point me to anything similar-ish, or suggest some websites I could try? I simply have no idea where to start looking. I found the Walkers.Style site via the summer goth thread and she did like several things on there. She has said if she can't wear a hoodie she will want a jacket of some sort. The main thing is finding something that she wants to wear, and even better if it suits her shape. She will only wear round/high-ish necklines.

Budget is probably up to about £150, but up to £200 if it can include a jacket/hoodie alternative that she will be happy to wear as a cover up. She wants to spend as little as possible as she is aware she might never wear it again, and doesn't want to waste money. I'm hoping we can find something that she will wear again in the summer, however, as she is always incredibly hot in good weather, but refuses to remove her hoodies.

Grateful for any suggestions!

| Walkers.Style | https://walkers.style

https://walkers.style/shop/225311/plu/plu_the_dress_pl225311

OP posts:
Thread gallery
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MyEyesAreBleeding · 25/05/2023 16:49

This dress is spectacularly flattering hellbunny.com/hlb40327p-nancy-dress.html

Vinted will have older versions of the hellbunny dresses too. I have zombie waitress, skull geishas, sugar skulls. And many more. 🙈

TriceratopsRocks · 27/05/2023 00:49

Thank you for all your suggestions. We went through these and more, and she narrowed it down to 3. Sadly it all went wrong when she noticed that one of the dresses we had looked at was part of a 'plus size' collection. She became quite upset, decided that all of the dresses would look awful on her because of her size, and said she no longer wanted to go at all :( I have ordered one of the dresses for her anyway (I think it would be nice for her to have for the summer), and am thinking I will order the other two as well for her to try on at home. What size to get is an issue as I have to guess her measurements, and I can't really get multiple sizes of multiple styles at that price 😆

The one I've ordered already is:
https://www.monki.com/en_gbp/clothing/dresses/midi-dresses/product.midi-flounce-dress-black.1085459001.html?gclid=CjwKCAjw67ajBhAVEiwA2g_jEMwqJrigCj75w3-C1o0TmttLpW5VizqQlHchEzzIwQB1evoqc4U5oRoCY7kQAvD_BwE

Her other favourites were still the very first link I posted, https://walkers.style/shop/225311/plu/plu_the_dress_pl225311 (yes it blows the budget but I just want her to have a night when she can be happy in something other than a massive hoody!)

and https://www.johnlewis.com/gina-bacconi-sahra-organza-floral-print-maxi-dress-purple/p109470155 which she thinks is beautiful.

At the moment she has said she'll just go in her hoodie but I hope that once I have things for her to try at home she'll change her mind. Wish me luck!

https://www.monki.com/en_gbp/clothing/dresses/midi-dresses/product.midi-flounce-dress-black.1085459001.html?gclid=CjwKCAjw67ajBhAVEiwA2g_jEMwqJrigCj75w3-C1o0TmttLpW5VizqQlHchEzzIwQB1evoqc4U5oRoCY7kQAvD_BwE

OP posts:
MyEyesAreBleeding · 27/05/2023 02:35

Awk poor girl that's awful. That dress you've ordered is beautiful. I very much admire her style and conviction in her taste. My preferred style wasn't appreciated for years so I spent far too long dressing to please that parent. It's only really late 30s I just finally had to bite the bullet, tell that person to stop with the derogatory comments and just truly dress as I want to. So she's doing amazingly.

Just thinking, another option could be a long/preferred hoody dress with tights and boots. Or a hoody with one of those tuille/petticoat type things. Dunno. But it's brilliant you're supporting her.

I'm sure someone here could provide measurements (or even a few people as a cross sample) if you needed to help with a bit of guidance. Or, is there a size chart with clothing measurements, that you could use alongside pieces of her clothing to help?

I feel very invested now, can't wait to see what you guys come up with.

purser25 · 27/05/2023 08:50

Could you get someone to make her something in a style she likes then there wouldn’t be the problem of plus sizes.

Monkeymonkeymoo · 27/05/2023 13:40

Would she like something like this to put over a plain black dress instead of a hoodie:
https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/883945095/sheer-galaxy-kimono-moon-and-stars?click_key=3486cd4415f7fcdc93204ccf98157beda3a11502%3A883945095&click_sum=b4600083&ref=shop_home_active_48&sts=1 it’s more special/formal but might still allow her to feel comfortable. They have loads of designs.

This one doesn’t have a hood but it’s beautiful, especially if she likes green velvet: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/1482371599/upcycled-paisley-velvet-shrug-emerald?click_key=76cf61cb58af52a55bc13bc2d9e9ed09f5bd3c6f%3A1482371599&click_sum=aa38b66f&ref=shop_home_active_111&sts=1

I’ve found that Etsy sellers are usually very helpful, you could message and ask if the item is likely to fit your daughter before you show it to her.
Having something like the tops above might give you a bit more leeway if she finds a dress that she likes but it doesn’t have sleeves or is a bit more fitted. It would be lovely with the first dress you posted!

Sheer Galaxy KIMONO Moon and Stars DUSTER Boho Goth - Etsy UK

This Womens Jackets & Coats item by erosdesign has 114 favorites from Etsy shoppers. Ships from Canada. Listed on 16 May, 2023

https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/883945095/sheer-galaxy-kimono-moon-and-stars?click_key=3486cd4415f7fcdc93204ccf98157beda3a11502%3A883945095&click_sum=b4600083&ref=shop_home_active_48&sts=1

GladysHeeler · 27/05/2023 13:45

That Etsy shrug is lovely Monkey and a good idea.

I like nearly all the dresses on this thread. I think the original black tutu one is my favourite. And she could wear that again and again.

PutYourBackIntoit · 27/05/2023 13:54

Just want to say your daughter has great taste! I love the original tutu dress, and with the 2nd etsy linked green shrug, would look so great (and green velvet laces in her DM's!)

I have a ND dd panicking about clothes for a concert, and have some great ideas from this thread.

GladysHeeler · 27/05/2023 13:58

Yes @PutYourBackIntoit . That's my top outfit too.

With the mesh ASOS top that @Zebracat found under if she feels like covering her arms.

MyEyesAreBleeding · 27/05/2023 14:01

I screen shot a few more . I'm going to two weddings so am also dress shopping! imgur.com/a/mbstWBU

PutYourBackIntoit · 27/05/2023 14:02

Yes @GladysHeeler perfect!

Pourmeanotherwine · 27/05/2023 14:47

Urban Outfitters is probably worth a look - my DD has similar taste and likes a lot of their clothes. Got her prom dress there last year.

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 27/05/2023 20:54

Would DD perhaps consider a tuxedo, worn with DMs and a statement handbag of the type sold by Banned Apparel?

VitoCorleoneOfMNMafia · 27/05/2023 23:21

That Boohoo dress isn't going to work with full breasts, the bust shaping is all wrong.

CushionsandThrows · 28/05/2023 08:16

@TriceratopsRocks Might this work under the first dress? https://www.shein.co.uk/SHEIN-BAE-Plus-Geo-Print-Mesh-Top-With-Bra-p-3429089-cat-2232.html?mallCode=1

It does say "plus" so maybe you could find a way to show her a screenshot rather than the actual website. I'm sorry she's put off by the plus thing. I have two fabulous nieces who are tall (almost 6ft) and curvy (size 18-20) who have ridden the bumpy ride through those awkward teen years and come out the other side embracing their curves and looking so confident and Amazonian. I hope your lovely DD finds her way there too.

SHEIN BAE Plus Geo Print Mesh Top With Bra | SHEIN UK

To find out about the SHEIN BAE Plus Geo Print Mesh Top With Bra at SHEIN, part of our latest Plus Size Women Tops ready to shop online today! Free Shipping On £35+✓ Free Return - 45 Days✓ 1000+ New Dropped Daily✓ Get £3 Off First Order!✓

https://www.shein.co.uk/SHEIN-BAE-Plus-Geo-Print-Mesh-Top-With-Bra-p-3429089-cat-2232.html?mallCode=1

TriceratopsRocks · 14/06/2023 23:17

Thank you so much for all your ideas. I wanted to update you. It turned out that ordering the dresses anyway worked a treat! We actually kept two (GPs bought one for her) because once she tried them on, she liked them so much she wanted both! I'm so glad I ordered them (despite her telling me not to because she thought she would look awful in them). It just feels wonderful for her to actually be happy wearing something other than an oversized hoody in which she is 'hiding' - it really is such a step forward.

This will be the prom dress, which she wears with a black top underneath to disguise the low back. Thank you @ittakes2 for pointing me to the designer. It looks fantastic with her black doc martins:
https://www.johnlewis.com/gina-bacconi-sahra-organza-floral-print-maxi-dress-purple/p109470155

And the original black tutu dress has also been purchased, to wear anytime she wants:
https://walkers.style/shop/225311/plu/plu_the_dress_pl225311
She has been happily wearing it whenever there has been a reason to dress 'nicely' in the last 2 weeks - also with the DMs, and both with and without the tutu petticoat we bought from amazon (thank you @Enterthewolves for that link). She thought the dress a bit tent like on its own, so she has been wearing it with a black belt with silver buckle, which really suits her. Some of the other dresses and websites linked also had great ideas that I'm hoping will come in handy for future - so a huge thank you to everyone, I'm so pleased 😁

| Walkers.Style | https://walkers.style

https://walkers.style/shop/225311/plu/plu_the_dress_pl225311

OP posts:
LivelyBlake · 15/06/2023 06:36

Fantastic! I love updates like this! I hope she enjoyed wearing them

Enterthewolves · 15/06/2023 08:25

I am so pleased she (you!) found things she felt happy with. She’s got great style and a lovely Mum.

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