To look less haggard??

[Imamumgetmeoutofhere]

How to I manage to look less haggard? My delightful "D" H said to me a while back that I always look haggard these days. Whilst I was offended he said it I think he's actually a bit right. I've got lines on my forehead, lines between my eyebrows and great big dark circles under my eyes. My skin is oily on my forehead, nose and chin yet flaky on my cheeks. My hair is oily at the scalp yet really dry and frizzy down the main lengths due to mostly washing and straightening daily and am just starting to get my first few greys.

With my hair I'm getting it cut and having an Olaplex treatment soon and then plan to follow the curly girl method afterwards as I'm naturally wavy so I know it's just rebelling to all the heat and styling.

I know I can't fix the wrinkles without Botox which I'm not prepared to do, but is there anything I can do for my skin so it's less crap and tired looking.

I'm 36. I don't get a lot of sleep due to early starts and late finishes with work and being a bit overwhelmed in the home. But I want people to look at me and not judge me for my appearance which is I'm worried they do after the comment from my husband. I've never worried before now, I just thought I looked like your typical mum. Now I'm worried I'm a mess.

Thank you

Drink lots of water
Use SPF every day
Prioritise sleep
Cut out sugar, caffeine, booze
Eat well
Divorce your rude husband?

I would go to a department store or a MAC counter and ask them to do you a skincare and light daily makeup look. They can work miracles!!

Cut out sugar, have some wind down time before bed, prioritise sleep and exercise, and make sure your husband is pulling his weight at home. If he's not feeling overwhelmed at home, why not? Make sure he is doing a fair share of all home and child tasks (including emotional labour) based on how many hours you are both working.

Can you explain?

I am in the USA and older than you but I started paying attention to my skin and I am amazed at the results. A dermatologist told me that vit C serum has been medically proven to help repair the skin. Apply it to the face at least once a day (or twice) after cleansing, and let it dry before applying moisturizer. Since I have started using it my skin is gorgeous, bright and clear. It stops free radicals and protects the skin. The one I use is expensive but I am sure there are alternatives in the UK
https://www.skinceuticals.com/skincare/vitamin-c-serums/c-e-ferulic-with-15-l-ascorbic-acid/S17.html

The other product that has been proven to make a marked difference to the skin is tretinoin, which we can only get on prescription here.

I have been getting Botox since my mid 40s, go to an experienced MEDICAL doctor or nurse and ask for it to be subtle, I don’t have a frozen look and can still lift my eyebrows normally when talking. My husband hasn’t even noticed I have it. In fact no one has ever asked me if I use Botox, just that I look great. It takes the tension and stress out from the forehead and retrains the muscles to relax more.

For dark under eyes you can get the troughs filled with filler (again ONLY go to an M.D.) you can also have laser treatments if the skin is pigmented and discolored. Have your iron levels checked and make sure you are eating lots of food with iron (green leaf salad and veggies and meat) and drinking lots of water.

I felt like this a while ago, especially with regards to my face. I took out a subscription to Dermatica (19.99 per month) for prescription skincare, and I'm so pleased with the result. My skin is so smooth and much brighter, I look nowhere near as tired as I did.
Oh, and your husband needs a boot up his arse.

Subtle Botox will make a world of difference. No one has noticed mine, I just look less tired.

Moisturiser or cleanser with salicylic acid helps to balance oil production. When I have a good skincare routine it makes a noticeable difference, when I don't, I sound exactly like your op.

Be kind to yourself. Try to address the cause as well as the symptoms - as much as you can anyway (e.g. leave the housework and get some sleep).
Think of it as a looking after yourself project, I hesitate to use the over worn phrase 'self care' but it sounds like that's what you need a little of.

Good botox deffo doesn't look obvious and literally noone realises except for yourself. You will just look a little more 'refreshed'. I started getting it last year and my partner had no idea until we recently had a discussion about it because he was asking if I would ever get it. I get it done on an evening & come home, he still doesn't notice unless I've literally told him.

I think the Botox thing is more because it would be obvious I've done it rather than not wanting it done if that makes sense
What about baby botox?
I always used to look good and then a few years ago I let things slide and I felt worse fir it. I've had no criticism or comment from Dh.
However I am older than you but I was doing these things at your age and still do.

Regular haircut and highlights
Eyebrows thread and tinted
Teeth whitened
Regular pedicures and manicures
Very light tan.( fake)
Light daytime make up. Eg Tinted moisturiser, cream blush and lip tint.
None of these are high maintenance.

Exercise is super important try and do a combo of strength, flexibility and cardio. All can be done at home.
Water and sleep is vital.

You don’t have to get Botox.

The poster said the OP could start by losing approximately 15 stone..I'm assuming she is referring to the dead weight that is OP's husband who was unkind enough to call her haggard.

What a twit. Would you say that to a friend? Honestly, I'm sure he's not the oil painting he was when he was 18 either. His opinions aside, if you want to feel better then the hair is a good shout, a good chop and not trying to fight the natural texture should help.

If you feel like you've got frown lines that you don't deserve definitely worth looking into a little bit of botox, I have my 11's done between my eyebrows because I was just looking permanently crosss. As pp have said find someone medical, not a beauty salon. If you hate it it will be worn off in a few months, definitely not permanent or a slippery slope to a frozen face unless you want it to be.

A bit of Glycolic Acid a couple of times a week can do wonders for dull facial skin, Hyaluronic acid too, and a good moisturiser morning and night. Treat yourself to some really nice shower gel and a couple of those scrubbing mitts and give yourself a once over every day, and then whack a bit of body lotion on and some perfume.

Get your eyebrows done, and maybe an eyelash tint and lift and then you're good with a bit of blusher and lippy (I use a dab of lippy on my cheeks in a rush, depending on the colour you use)

Most importantly, you need to book hair/beauty appointments for when he is at home trying to juggle the housework and the childcare and trying to work out what's for tea and getting one of them to a swimming lesson and the other to brownies. Always.

Most importantly, you need to book hair/beauty appointments for when he is at home trying to juggle the housework and the childcare and trying to work out what's for tea and getting one of them to a swimming lesson and the other to brownies. Always.

Oh this!

Thank you all.

I don't think I'm going to try Botox just yet. Im going to try to stick to a really good skincare routine and have more water and see how I feel about my face then.

I actually have an appointment for manicure and pedicure too coming up for a holiday we have soon. May book an eyebrow threading appointment too.

Luckily don't need teeth whitening as someone else suggested, I don't eat or drink too much that would stain my teeth so they are pretty good.

I really, really DO NOT believe you look haggard aged 36!!! If you feel you want to improve your skin look into your routine - cleansing, VIT C serum and a good moisturiser and always wear sun screen on your face. I'm 47 and started Botox last year - i'm very happy with the results and will keep it up.

If you are near a big Superdrug, they do eyebrow threading and dying in store. Takes 10 minutes and really does make a difference.

Apply moisturising serum to your cheeks only. Then a serum that tackles oiliness on the rest of your face, ditto with moisturisers.

Don't drink more water if you already drink plenty, you can drink too much. If your urine is pale then you drink enough. If it's clear then you're drinking too much, and tea ,coffee and soft drinks count as does water in your diet, mainly fruit and veg.

@SophieIsHereToday yes was referring to dropping the nasty husband

Why on earth are you doing all the housework and kids stuff?! You'd look a lot less tired if your husband did his fair share.

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/a05c509a-ef52-11ed-87b0-716b9284a2b0?shareToken=5c80e5853e491812da0d85b82b7fe9aa

Maybe the writer is a mumsnetter.

Couldn't read past doesband 🤮

What a fucking dick.
I'd be tempted to do an epic glow up and then dump his sorry arse.

I'm 50 and fat and I feel good. I look 10-15 years younger (on a good day).
Never had botox but will not hesitate in the future.

SPF religiously (I also stay out of the sun but that's because I just don't like it). I like La Roche-Posay Anthelios 400 Invisible Fluid SPF50+.
Find a good rich night cream with active ingredients. Some people swear by Body Shop's Edelweiss line. I like Paula's Choice products. Remember your neck and chest are also 'part of your face'.
No skimping on good hairdresser. I like highlights and a longer, feminine style.
If you wear glasses: New frames. Be brave, and bring a friend with you to choose. Chunky trendy frames do wonders for undereye wrinkles/eyebags too.
Prioritize sleep.
Prioritize having fun with your friends.
Take a high quality multivitamin (I like Centrum Advance).
Omega 3 and oily fish (I see a difference in my skin the day after eating salmon, for real).
Teeth whitening (through dentist is best).
I dress quite feminine, ie pretty dresses (it just makes me feel good) + cropped cardis/jackets.
Nice shoes/boots, I like chunky ones.
Too much concealer/foundation ages me and emphasizes wrinkles. But I like good eyebrows and eye makeup + blusher. A tiny bit of concealer in the inner corner of the eyes and where needed. There are some god youtube tutorials for makeup on mature skin.
I avoid strong lipstick and jewelry .