Clothes amnesia

[JustDudeIt]

I had a free day today and browsed around the clothes shops.

Thankfully, as I was browsing cute cropped denim jackets in Zara I remembered that I MUST NEVER AGAIN BUY A DENIM JACKET, as I’ve literally bought one every year around this time for about 15 years (not exaggerating!) ‘for the Spring/Summer’, not worn it and ended up charity shopping or eBaying.They DO NOT suit me. I’ve got broad shoulders, big tits and long arms. They just don’t work.

So then I started racking my brain for the other items I have annual amnesia over.

Broderie of any type (‘oh, it’s so pretty and summery and feminine!’) = plump maid a milking

Shirring, especially floaty tops with a shirred bit around the bust = LOOK AT MY ENORMOUS BREASTS!!!

Jumpsuits / play suits. Why am I always, always drawn to these? They are not a friend to the c-section overhang or arse that’s gone south. They make me look like Humpty Dumpty and I’m 5’11 so that’s no mean feat.

What clothes that DO NOT SUIT YOU do you have amnesia about?

Ha thats funny!
I always forget that buying clothes to go out in is really useless, as I don't have much of a social life, and even when I do, its not the type to wear a mini dress. And that certain brands are just too short in the body, no matter how much I like the tops.

I also always forget that it's no good buying clothes a smidge too small, because theres no chance I'll slim into them.

I did also used to buy a lot of jumpsuits, that I couldn't wear because I pee a million times a day. But now I'm on tablets to stop that, so I have pulled out all my jumpsuits to wear and I love them.

Heels! I cannot wear them, I do not wear them, and yet every couple of years when I have a wedding or a fancy dinner coming up I convince myself that maybe these are the ones.

Big, puffy dresses.

The thing is, by early Spring, last year’s awful mistake has been hidden away for months - so yes, I forget the hot sweaty mess they turn me into. Not ‘hot’ like that. Hot like oceans dripping off me. Always in a situation where I need to look particularly cool and smart.

Anyway, can’t linger here. There’s sure to be a Cecilie Bahnsen sale somewhere on the Internet …

Big puffy flowery dresses. Just don't suit me but doesn't stop me forgetting this and buying them. I'm tall and a generous size 14 with big boobs and they just look awful on me.
I so wish they suited me I love the ditsy floral prints and frills.

Likewise maxi and midi skirts I repeatedly buy them, they don't suit me or my rural,outdoorsy lifestyle but yes I forget and keep buying them xx

wrap dresses. They invariably gape and make me look flat chested and fall off my shoulders. I still keep buying them and always end up with a safety pin and hoiking the shoulders up. (I don't even particularly have a flat chest or sloping shoulders but wrap dresses make me look like I do).

And ANYTHING from Toast. I like the idea of all of their clothes, but they just do not suit me. Still, I keep doing it.

How DO you pee wearing a jumpsuit? Do you have to unzip/unbutton from the top and slide it all down?

@Oneearringlost Yep! Which I can cope with when its 3 or 4 toilet trips a day, but the speed you need to move was beyond me before I started the tablets 😁You definitely do start to question your choices in life when you're sat on the toilet, naked apart from a bra, from the knees up.

My mum has mastered the art of pulling a playsuit (short legs) far enough to the side/ out of the way to pee without taking it off, that's a skill I'm never going to master.

I don't tend to fall into this trap anymore - I switched to a capsule wardrobe a while back so don't forget what I have and know full well what I don't reach for so usually get rid of it quite quickly.

I used to be awful for buying pretty dresses or shoes, things that are lovely but in no way suit my lifestyle or the places I'm invited. For example, lovely summer dresses- try them on and think they look great so buy immediately because I felt good in them- get them home and never reach for them in the summer because it would be overdressing, and rarely go to weddings or anything where it would be a natural choice so they just sit in the wardrobe.

These days I'm fully on board with the concept that just because I do like it, and just because I feel good in it or it looks good on me, doesn't mean I need it or have any reason to buy it.

Another smug capsule wardrobe enthusiast here. I operate a one in one out policy for clothes. If I buy something new I have to get rid of something I already own in order to make room for it.

Amazingly freeing, to ask myself what will I get rid of in order to add this item. Often, it turns out that I don't love the new thing so much after all

I've been pruning my wardrobe for years. Can honestly say there are only a handful of items left which I don't wear regularly.

Crew neck anything. Sooo unflattering.

V neck, scoop, slash, boat, turtle, square, plunge - literally every other neckline looks better on me than crew.

Puff sleeves! I don't even like them so why do I even buy them? Best left behind in the 70s for me; I'm neither Peters nor Lee.

Not necessarily the same thing but I once gave a load of clothes to the charity shop... Two weeks later went in for a mooch and rebought back my own dress. By accident 🤦🏻‍♀️

Any top at all not described as "longline" will not reach the top of my trousers. Anything described as "cropped" will barely cover my boobs. Cute little cropped cardigan ? Nope, looks like a wooly bra.

Trousers described as "tapered" will not get over my bulbous calf muscles.

I'm all about tunics and flares me!

Crew neck t shirts are not my friend, but I regularly forget this.

I love those quilted liner jackets but they all make me look huge. Like a big upholstered wall. I try them on rather than buy them but every time I think ooh so lovely let me try that on!!…oh..I’m a wall.

I have one pair of clog boots that gets lots of wear and multiple pairs of clogs which are rarely (if ever) worn. I don't understand why I love the boots but can't love the clogs. I do still love them actually, I just don't wear them. And there are some good reasons why - they're not that comfortable, bad in wet weather etc - but the real problem is that they're not for me, they just don't work in my wardrobe.

I got rid of the ones I know I'll never wear again but I've kept some because I know if I get rid I'll just buy another pair next year or the year after that. It's a sickness.

I have a theory that it's a dopamine hit, I get a little thrill from trying to introduce a sartorial spanner.

Also a problem: statement sleeves.

I have lots of jumpsuits but I wear them all the time Wearing one now in fact!

Anything flowery. Every spring I think: Right, this is it, this is The One, the ultimate expression of my inner spring goddess, so graceful and feminine. So light and breezy and cheerful.

At best, I look like Little Bo Peep (that aged badly). At worst I look like a flowery meadow.

And the dress inevitably ends in my local charity.