What makes someone look 20, 30 or 40? (I always get mistaken for younger.)

[roselune]

I'm 40 and really fed up of getting mistaken for younger, especially in a work context. I recently had someone ask if I was under 30. 🙁 I work in a profession (self-employed) where people are more likely to choose someone around their own age or older (because of life experience as well as work experience) so it's actually affecting me professionally.

I've read all the usual articles with tips from how to do your make up to what to wear but I think in my case it comes down to my facial features and I just can't change that. I already wear glasses, keep my make up quite natural, dress smart-casual as appropriate for my job, wear my hair up (and have an increasing amount of grey hairs that should make it obvious I'm not 25!). Looking at people my age on social media for example I can see how my face looks much younger though. I'm nearly the same age as Kate Middleton for example and even with her generally amazing skin and all the money she can spend on her looks no one would mistake her for being in her 20s because of her features.

What do you think is the difference between how most women look in their 20s, 30s and 40s? What makes you think "she's about 40" compared to thinking "she's in her late 20s". 🤔

The only question I'm asking myself after reading your post is "why don't journalists write their own articles these days rather than coming to MN" 😁

Kate Middleton is a bad example. Stunning as she is, because she’s so thin she is unfortunately ageing terribly, IMO. It won’t matter when she’s older and Queen, but women in their 40s are now expected to look younger which she doesn’t.

I would say someone like Holly Willoughby looks good for early 40s.

The trick is to look good for your age - it’s hard to actually look much younger unless you dress younger and have less money (generally). Most 25 year-olds dress in Urban Outfitters gear, not in Joseph and Russell & Bromley etc.

40 is still quite young I guess thats why.

I can never place someone's age if they're between about 25 and 45! Im often out by a decade. I tend to think everyone looks roughly the same 🤔
I think I go more on hints they give away through conversation and lifestyle, such as mentioning kids, or that they've got elderly parents, or have been with their husband for 20 years.
If you want to look older though, what about a grey permed wig, crocheted cardigan and walking stick? No point in half-arseing it.

Can you really not discern the reasons??
Skin quality - sagging, wrinkles, laxity
Eye hollows
Teeth and hair quality

PP gave a a good example of Kate M - despite all the skincare luxuries afforded to her, she looks aged due to sagging and lines.

Poor you, BTW. Must be awful to look young.

Im 40s,look younger, but I would say a lot do. Lots of makeup definately ages, round faces always look young, especially if you have high cheek bones. Being really thin is aging too. Ultimately its in the genes, so not much we can do really.

Nobody in their 40's looks like they are 20 something except in their own head.

I'm 39 and pretty much look my age, I get the odd comment as my eldest is 20 but at best they may think I am 5 years younger. For me it is definitely my skin, especially around my eyes and mouth and also my hands. You may be blessed with more youthful looking skin rather than anything to do with your dress or style.

You're not short/petite are you, OP?

My short friend (30s) is often mistaken for being younger until you see her from the front or close up then she has the beginnings of lines and loosening of skin some have at that age.

Kate Middleton presumably can't go ott with help such as fillers and Botox? Though I thought she was in her 40s genuinely.

It can have little to do with the face and be more about the build. I know someone who's in her mid 30s but if you squint a bit she looks like a teenager because she's short and slight and wears young clothes. She definitely look like a teen from the back. She's not particularly smooth skinned or anything though.

Indeed they do not. Though everyone thinks they look young for their age, in my experience. I've known people who look a few years younger than their actual age, or look well with good skin and have stayed fit, but never to the extent you read about here. I think those are tall tales.

Here being Mumsnet rather than this thread.

You're in a profession where you are unable to actually TELL people about your years of experience and therefore they can only work it out from looking at you?

That's what I think. It's often height, i.e. being short, and build. I remember a neighbour across the road also dresses quite young in high street sports clothes, scraped back ponytail and is very short. Her face is that of someone in her 30s also, no bad thing of course, ageing!

I think a lot of this is general style - hairdresser yesterday told me she thought I was about 47- I'm 61 and haven't been well either and she made my day! I think it's because I wear leggings and trendy boots and fitted crossover tops- don't wear my glasses apart from reading and have shoulder length coloured hair and have always had good skin- I'm overweight by a good few stone too- but don't have many lines (think the fat pads them out) !!

Absolutely, 100%, this.

Everyone thinks they look 10 years younger, but very very few actually do. Well cared for skin, good nutrition, drinking water, exercising etc. are done by the masses now. What 40 looks like has moved on, but some people’s idea of what 40 looks like seems to be stuck in the distant past, which is how you get 40 year-olds on MN telling you they look 25.

I'm. 50 in a couple of months. People think I'm 40 or younger. It's a family thing and my dh looks year ms younger too. I'm not bragging but I'm happy about it. It's better to say that than do the faux, wide eyed, "Oh it's terrible, I look so young and at 40 I get mistaken for 20. Why?"

I’m 33 and I look my age but ONLY because I have a round face. If it wasn’t for that I’d definitely look older (stressful job, don’t use Tret or other ‘active’ skincare).

Maybe we should start a thread ‘what makes you look your age or older’. 😅

Nicola Coughlan looks young for her age (37). Because she's got a round and chubby face. Soft rather than angular.

Agree, some posters are a bit deluded. There was one who said she was 70 but looked 50, and as she was overweight looked amazing, whilst her thinner friends looked awful.

I'm waiting for people to start posting their photos to guess what age they are.

Looking around, those women who look younger than I know them to be, have....

good posture
are fit and energetic
have thick glossy hair
well moisturised, relatively unlined skin.

I think clothes and makeup are less important.

I don't want to sound mean, but I've seen these posts on Facebook like "This (famous) woman looks 20 while she's actually 30-40-50, wow", and there are hundreds and hundreds of comments underneath where women post photos of their faces saying they are also always told they look decades younger than they actually are. And, well, everybody on these photos actually looks their age... Even with the heavy blur some people apply to their pics.
I know IRL some ladies who tell me how they are always told they are 25 or something, but when I saw them for the first time I knew they must be in their 40s (which they are).
I'm 32 and I get sometimes mistaken for a student in early twenties, only by the virtue of having a round face, childish features and a high voice. If these people put their glasses on had actually a good look at me, they'd immediately know I'm in my 30s already. I think I look good for my age, but do I look like actual fresh-faced students? Hell no.
Taking into regard that part where you say you go grey OP, I do suspect that "oh sorry I want to choose someone older for the job than 25-years old you" kind of excuses from clients are just a nice way to say no without sounding mean.

Round and or chubby features can do it

But it’s hard to know op unless you’re up to posting a pic

Never post that you look young on here OP. Other posters will tell you that you are deluded, that nobody could possibly look more than 7-8 years younger than their age or you will get 'Sweetie, trust me. You do not look like a teen.'
I get it. I am 37 but regularly got mistaken for between 17-22. I am kind of short and slim, flatchested, work in an environment which is causal dress but mainly it's just my face. I have a kid like face and nothing I can do about it no matter the suggestions with different make up etc.
It's really awkward when people younger than me try and be all mothering, when they assume you haven't lived much of a life and so are quite gullible and the fact you never feel you are liked for who you are, just the young girl they assume you are.
If I could take a pill tomorrow that made me look late twenties/early thirties would take it immediately. If you are a shy and self conscious person as I am, it just makes everything awkward. Also, people assume that when you say you look young, you mean you look gorgeous. Anyway can look at me and see that is not true. I just look like a kid.
I try and avoid slogan tops, anything too neon coloured or bright, no hair accessories, still doesn't help.

I am often told I look younger than my age (41). I don't look like I'm in my 20s (look at photos of yourself from university, the peachiness will make you weep), but probably look a bit younger than I am, because I'm petite and slightly built, so look quite girlish, and have quite a wide-eyed face. I think my oily skin contributes, but it causes different problems!