What makes someone look 20, 30 or 40? (I always get mistaken for younger.)

[roselune]

I'm 40 and really fed up of getting mistaken for younger, especially in a work context. I recently had someone ask if I was under 30. 🙁 I work in a profession (self-employed) where people are more likely to choose someone around their own age or older (because of life experience as well as work experience) so it's actually affecting me professionally.

I've read all the usual articles with tips from how to do your make up to what to wear but I think in my case it comes down to my facial features and I just can't change that. I already wear glasses, keep my make up quite natural, dress smart-casual as appropriate for my job, wear my hair up (and have an increasing amount of grey hairs that should make it obvious I'm not 25!). Looking at people my age on social media for example I can see how my face looks much younger though. I'm nearly the same age as Kate Middleton for example and even with her generally amazing skin and all the money she can spend on her looks no one would mistake her for being in her 20s because of her features.

What do you think is the difference between how most women look in their 20s, 30s and 40s? What makes you think "she's about 40" compared to thinking "she's in her late 20s". 🤔

The Daily Mail ladies are all very groomed and made up - they also look to be in good health - in jeans and t shirt and no make up they would look very different .

the professional lighting dispelling a lot of facial shadows too.

I don't think I have ever met anyone who looks significantly younger than their age.

People who think they are being mistaken for being 20 years their junior are probably falling victim to flattery.

Hair , makeup. Clothes

6 pages in, no sign of OP…

Ah ok @shinynewapple22 I thought you thought I liked those outfits 😅

I think voice can play a part. If you speak in a gravelly way, you sound older/worn out.

Apparently I look late 30s when I'm 43, I consider this a win. I pass for a bit younger but not like I'm desperately trying to pass for 25 which isn't going to fool anyone.

I've got a chubby face, it's the jaw line losing its tightness that'll give me away

I'm young passing. I know from people's behaviour. When out with 30s DD and without exception people say 'your friend', asked out by men 15/20 years younger who beat a hasty retreat when they find out, comments from same age people 'you won't remember this' and 'wait till you get to my age', always assumed to be DGC mum/auntie. I'm not deluded. I have a mirror and I know the signs of my age are in my face (and unclothed body!) but I dress casually and cheaply, am slim with defined waist, move quickly with good posture, have long thick minimally styled hair, wear little make up...and people just don't look that closely. They take in the whole picture and the youth signifiers rather than honing in on the face.

🤔

🤣

I thought about this thread as I was scrolling this Buzzfeed article about actors playing roles of a completely different age and it did make me think it contributes to skewing our perceptions.

www.buzzfeed.com/spenceralthouse/wild-actor-movie-age-gaps?utm_source=dynamic&utm_campaign=bfsharecopy

because she’s so thin she is unfortunately ageing terribly

I'm short, my face is round and my hair quite thick. I was chubby let's face it, really quite fat for ages. Lots of people would be surprised by just how old I am, based I suspect on my having no wrinkles ,round face, chubby cheeks, fat neck.

I've now lost a good deal of weight, and from behind (slim hips, casual clothes) I still look young but face on, and especially from the side, loads of wrinkles and my neck has that unmistakable, crepey look.

No one has been amazed by my youthful looks for a good long time. sigh

I think Joan Collins gets credited with the saying at some point, when you get older, you have to choose between your ar*e and your face.

I'm 46 but I look younger. Because I'm fat at 14 stone unfortunately. It stretches out your face!
If I lost weight (which I should as I'm pre diabetic) I'd soon look my age!!

So I won't go under eg 10 stone. But I do have a round face. And oily skin which helps.

I think many people have bad eye sight that they don't see fine wrinkles very well and most people take a quick glance and don't really look properly at your face to age you correctly.
Good tight skin is very hard to fake even with fillers and surgery the quality is just different when you are genuinely young or have exceptional genes. Some people don't know how to age other ethnicities so guess younger to not be rude.
If you post a clear unfiltered picture in day light without make up, I'm sure the brains of MN can help you narrow it down to why you look so young despite many greys.

You see I'd completely disagree with this, people say I look much younger than I am (45) its rubbish though, my face looks exactly what you'd expect from my age. However I am in terrific shape, gym shape, running shape, lots of lean defined muscle and I'm very good looking, and that's why they get the impression of someone younger....people forget you can be old and still beautiful

Everyone knows people are being polite don't they? If any woman tells you their age, you automatically say 'wow, you look good for your age' or 'I thought you were younger'.

I'm 49. People sometimes tell me I look younger - I assume they mean I could pass for 47, not that I should carry ID in case I get refused alcohol.

Also on the actors/culture thing distorting our perception of age - actors usually (not always) play younger than they really are. 20 somethings play highschoolers, 35 year olds are recent graduates, 55 year olds are firemen and sports stars in action films. Nicole Kidman and Sandra Bullock are still playing mums of primary school kids - or at least they were until recently and they are both mid-50s. I think actors in their 50s (no matter how good looking / botoxed) playing mums on screen will make RL middle aged mums seem young looking in comparison.

Why is it rubbish @GreyTS? Everyone would love to be beautiful looking surely?

Ok @GreyTS I'm not gym honed and perfect like you but I'm still good looking hopefully.
And I really don't think 45 is old!

I'll be old when I'm dead.

My siblings and I look younger than our friends. We have round faces.
We will probably be very jowly one day though.
There is nothing more aging than a face with no cushion to it.
So yes often you do sacrifice your face to maintain a very slim physique in later 30's +
I am quite short too so that adds to a young look when my children are close to my height or am struggling to carry my toddler.

My siblings and I look younger than our friends. We have round faces.
We will probably be very jowly one day though.
There is nothing more aging than a face with no cushion to it.
So yes often you do sacrifice your face to maintain a very slim physique in later 30's +
I am quite short too so that adds to a young look when my children are close to my height or am struggling to carry my toddler.

Are you Samantha Brick?

No and who