What makes someone look 20, 30 or 40? (I always get mistaken for younger.)

[roselune]

I'm 40 and really fed up of getting mistaken for younger, especially in a work context. I recently had someone ask if I was under 30. 🙁 I work in a profession (self-employed) where people are more likely to choose someone around their own age or older (because of life experience as well as work experience) so it's actually affecting me professionally.

I've read all the usual articles with tips from how to do your make up to what to wear but I think in my case it comes down to my facial features and I just can't change that. I already wear glasses, keep my make up quite natural, dress smart-casual as appropriate for my job, wear my hair up (and have an increasing amount of grey hairs that should make it obvious I'm not 25!). Looking at people my age on social media for example I can see how my face looks much younger though. I'm nearly the same age as Kate Middleton for example and even with her generally amazing skin and all the money she can spend on her looks no one would mistake her for being in her 20s because of her features.

What do you think is the difference between how most women look in their 20s, 30s and 40s? What makes you think "she's about 40" compared to thinking "she's in her late 20s". 🤔

I agree with PP who said people don't know how to age other ethnicities.
I live in an Asian country, and I've noticed on multiple occasions that people mistake when trying to guess age of people of a different race. If you are white and have a case of a bitch resting face, have a little bit of extra weight, have prominent high cheekbones etc., many Asian people tend to think you are older than you are. My acquaintance (17 at the time) was asked if she's 30, her classmate was guessed as 27 years old etc. Articles featuring young white models (like 13 years old) get tons of comments saying "wow she looks at least 20" and so on.
I guess I'm lucky that my features make locals think I'm younger than I am, and I've noticed that losing weight (I used to be size 10, now I'm size 6-8) made me look younger to many people, as well as choosing to dress in a more romantic fashion. Somebody has mentioned soft feminine mannerisms - I agree that it definitely helps too than being very visibly assertive.

On the other hand, many non-Asian (mostly white) people I know tend to think Asians look younger than they are, but I think that's only because if you don't spend much time around Asian people of different ages, you are simply not used to notice the ways this particular race ages as opposed to your race.
I also used to think that Asian women tend to look much younger than their age, but after 10 years living in Asia that's not the case anymore, I can accurately guess person's age here. And yes, almost everybody (there are a couple of rare exceptions of course, as in every ethnicity) looks their age, some s bit better, some a bit worse, but nobody looks decades younger.

I think the UK is going the same way as the US, when it comes to being ID'ed.
They just ask everyone!
I was last ID'ed (along with my colleagues varying between early 20s and late 50s) trying to get in a bar in LA.
Only the early 20s chap had any and so the rest of us had to leave. There was no "ohh, how lovely to look so young", more just pissed off that we couldn't have a drink after a long day.

Anyway, my age only ever comes up (outside of stuff like medical appts) when I race (running). I am 53 so in the female Vet 50-55 cat. Someone had looked up a result and commented that she had no idea I was over 50. Another one remarked that she was surprised so and so was in the same category as me as she looked a lot older (dunno if she looks older or I look younger!).

I think I look my age and in the next couple of years will definitely look over 50 as I reach menopause, I think skin changes happen more rapidly.

This. These threads come up every so often. It's always a "disadvantage" that they look so young! Every time.

my face looks exactly what you'd expect from my age. However I am in terrific shape, gym shape, running shape, lots of lean defined muscle and I'm very good looking, and that's why they get the impression of someone younger....people forget you can be old and still beautiful

I do a lot of sport and see a lot of very athletic people at races. You can run behind someone and have no idea how old they are (especially if they're wearing a hat, or have dyed hair). Then you pass them and see their face and it's much clearer. That's no sort of judgement, just an observation.

Zombie thread!

😂
Put her in a class with teenagers, see if she'd stand out!

I bet she still looks amazingly young, though. Maybe younger!

Do zombies age?

Definitely not!

🧟‍♀️
This is me then.

I'd say you're about 17.

Not true. . I'm 42y/o and some people still legitimately think I'm 20 something.
Always been that way. In my 30s people thought I was 20 or a teenager still. Cops would even question if I was old enough to drive. Idk it's all good. Idc really.

Return of the zombie thread! part 2!😆

anyways its 3 things IME.
being short, being skinny or having long,thick hair.
all these things will make people think you are very young.....on first glance.
(just dont let them look closer!).

I have a friend who is convinced she looks 35 at 53. She doesn't. But I guess it's quite nice to be in denial.

Yeah my dad is 68 and thinks he looks 20 years younger bless him. He looks at least 68!

women who are 25+ will start developing fine lines and shallow wrinkles around the eyes, across the forehead, between the eyebrows, and the most impactful area, the nasolabial folds. These lines deepen with age. They also start losing fat in their cheeks and under the eyes, which give the face a less-padded and older appearance. Their skin becomes less plump, bright, and dewy, and sun damage becomes visible. Their bodies begin to look less “tight” as they gain subcutaneous fat and lose collagen and elastin.

By their 30s, most women will start to see some looseness/drooping above the eyes/just beneath the brows (which makes the eyes appear smaller), along the jawline, and in the neck area. Their chests lose perkiness. Many start noticeably gaining weight, and become curvier. Into the 40s, these signs intensify, and hair thickness, color, and shine wanes. Greys appear. By late 40s and 50s, most will start exhibiting signs of menopause, like the “old people” body odor, some whiskers, crepey skin, etc. Their gait and movements may change as they experience stiffness or musculoskeletal pain.

I am turning 28 soon, and I’ve done my skin care routine religiously since I was 20. The products I use reduce discoloration from the sun and help with skin brightness, moisture, and smoothness. I also periodically microneedle to maintain collagen in my face, which helps keep fat there. I maintain a healthy weight and try to eat fairly well, I’ve never smoked, and I don’t get much sun. I think it is these factors, in addition to my not wearing make up, that cause people to often mistake me for 16-20. (They’ll be shocked when I tell them I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, or that I’ve been in the military for 7 years, or that I have a 3yo. I’ve had a neighbor ask if my kiddo is my sister while I was taking her trick-or-treating, a politician going door-to-door ask if my dad is home, people at my part-time ask me if this was my first job, if I’m in school… very flattering, of course, but also mildly annoying. So I feel you OP.)

@EmilyChickens it's very hard to gauge how old a twenty something is as there are very few visible signs of ageing. We all looked great in our twenties. I was still getting asked for ID at 27 and this was in the years before 'challenge 25'. I was out with a 28 year old colleague the other week & she was asked on the door of a bar. It's hard to tell.

You will find that ageing accelerates dramatically from mid thirties onwards. By late thirties to early forties most people do look their age (despite what some say on this thread!). I've noticed that this is exactly the point when people start to opt for Botox, fillers etc. obviously people that have sun damage & have smoked may have more visible signs in terms of wrinkles. It's the fat loss, pigmentation, hair, teeth etc though that create the ageing effect.

I’m finding it hard to tell which of the Gen Z’ers are high school aged, and which are in their early to mid twenties. It seems like the teens are dressing themselves up to look older, taking worse care of themselves, and experiencing greater stress levels than the millennials have been, and the millennials are discovering skin care and med spa treatments that do a lot of heavy lifting. The lines are blurring.

I’ve worked with 26 yos who look 16 (they’re short, baby-faced, flat-chested, don’t wear make up, and have wrinkle-free skin) and I’ve seen 16 yos who seem like they’d be in their early to mid 20s (beginnings of lines on their face, dull skin, mature looking bodies, revealing clothing), til you overhear their conversations. But I can usually accurately tell when someone is genuinely over 25 with a decent look at their faces.

It's pretty easy to look older if you want to OP.

Just make a Pinterest board of older people you'd like to look like and copy their make up and outfits 🤷‍♀️

Well I would have said I looked my age. But having now learned that women in their 40s/50s have dull lifeless hair, are fat with unperky breasts, a stiff gait, whiskers and smell of 'old person odour', I'm delighted to report I have none of these things. Which must mean I look 20 years younger.😊

I feel like you’re taking what I said to the extreme… Not every woman in their 40s and 50s exhibits ALL of these traits, or has them so severely. Like when you get into the 40s, especially the late 40s, hair starts thinning and being less lustrous than it is when you’re young and full of estradiol. I don’t mean that the average 40 yo is balding and has straw for hair.

The average person gains 1-2 lbs per year from early adulthood to middle age, and in developed countries, ~60% of people are overweight or obese. So yes, if you haven’t become overweight by your 40s, you’re ahead of the game. But, like I said, it’s normal for women of that age and older to look softer, or overall less tight than younger women because of increased body fat percentage in combination with collagen and elastin loss in the skin. This is tied into hormonal changes that begin in the mid twenties, wherein the steroid hormones responsible for them progressively decrease.

This also factors into breast perkiness, where weight gain increases the size and mass of the breasts, and the lessening of collagen and elastin both contribute to sagging. If you have smaller breasts in general, or haven’t had children (and go from A cups to E cups overnight and then back to As once you quit breastfeeding, as in my case) they are less likely to sag as much. That is not to say that women in their 40s and 50s have their nipples grazing their navels or anything.

Because most people don’t exercise or stretch (or do these things enough),they become less mobile as time goes by. In the 40s and 50s, most women don’t shuffle or hobble around as you might be thinking, but they’re typically not going to be as lithe, graceful, or easy in their general movements.

It is estimated that up to 10% of the population has PCOS. That, in combination with menopause occurring in the mid-to-late 40s and 50s, makes it so that facial hair commonly darkens and thickens at that age. I’m not yet 28, and I get a whisker here and there because of my PCOS. I remember my aunt’s upper lip hair became very noticeable when she was around 40. Most women shave or pluck or laser off their unwanted facial hair, so it’s commonness may not be as apparent to you.

It is certainly possible that you haven’t noticed a change in your smell due to nose blindness, or that you just don’t smell old ^yet. www.franklinpark.org/blog/old-people-smell#:~:text=Starting%20at%20about%20age%2040,produced%20in%20the%20breakdown%20process.^

Some really quite absurd generalisations on this thread.

I have never come across a 40something or 50something woman with old person odour.

sadly I do

Zombie thread