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Original poster

What's the ideal weight for a woman?

100 replies

Zamummy · 04/02/2023 23:50

What do you consider the ideal weight for a lady based on her height?

I am 5'5 = 165cm and would like to weight 65kg..

I am now around 55kg(without being pregnant) nice and slim

OP posts:
CarPoor · 05/02/2023 01:14

DuplicateUserName · 05/02/2023 01:00

Huh? There's absolutely nothing wrong with weighing yourself if that's part of how you like to manage your weight.

Equally if it's not part of how you like to manage your weight, there's nothing wrong with not weighing yourself either.

Show quote history

Weighing yourself to achieve an 'ideal' weight that's all about how others perceive you is a problem. And it's important to address the concept of reaching an ideal weight, being perfect or right. So many people believe there's a perfect point where suddenly all their problems are resolved

If there's a reason you need to be a certain weight e.g Sports or health by all means. But thing to achieve anything ideal in relation the body is not a good thing

Eyerollcentral · 05/02/2023 01:16

Zamummy · 05/02/2023 01:02

Unfortunately, yes. I haven't been going into details with the cheatings. Because I am so scared of being roasted here.

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Your husband sounds like a total prick. No matter what weight you are he will likely find fault, because he wants to grind you down and make you feel bad about yourself. At 5ft 5” I would say your ideal weight is around 9 stone, don’t know what that is in kg sorry. But you could be as curvy as anyone or as slim as a stick, your husband is a deceitful, disrespectful man and no weight will have any bearing on that. You deserve better.

FiveShelties · 05/02/2023 01:21

Zamummy · 05/02/2023 01:13

If I put the whole story here, people might think I am trolling. I might have stayed with him because I want my kids to have the same father. Is that wrong?

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Do you think he is a good role model for your children? Does he make you happy?

Reclaimtheoutdoors · 05/02/2023 01:22

Zamummy · 05/02/2023 01:13

If I put the whole story here, people might think I am trolling. I might have stayed with him because I want my kids to have the same father. Is that wrong?

Show quote history

I don’t know if I can say it’s right or wrong as its each person individual choice but objectively speaking it’s very risky.

You’re lucky you (hopefully) haven’t caught an STD. I know someone with HIV due to a promiscuous partner.

I’m not in the situation myself but I’d like to think I wouldn’t stand for it. generally speaking women in these situations should think about their own safety and emotional well-being and how endangering themselves in this way will affect their children.

Just because you leave a man you have had a child with doesn’t mean you need to go on and have more with another man. So your reasoning doesn’t make much sense to me.

CarPoor · 05/02/2023 01:23

CarPoor · 05/02/2023 01:14

Weighing yourself to achieve an 'ideal' weight that's all about how others perceive you is a problem. And it's important to address the concept of reaching an ideal weight, being perfect or right. So many people believe there's a perfect point where suddenly all their problems are resolved

If there's a reason you need to be a certain weight e.g Sports or health by all means. But thing to achieve anything ideal in relation the body is not a good thing

Show quote history

And even amongst top athletes there's no ideal weight. There's ideal performance, and for each individual this might come st a certain weight. But there's so many facto4e involved

I think we all need to question why we want to be a certain weight. If it's that we will fell better go off feeling rather than weight. If it's we feel more attractive again go off feeling not weight.

greenspaces4peace · 05/02/2023 01:31

Staying with this man will be unhealthy for your mental health at the very least.
Some STI’s are lifelong and increase your risk of cancer.
Staying in the relationship will not demonstrate healthy relationships to your children.
he won’t stop at 5.

Original poster
Zamummy · 05/02/2023 01:35

Thank god he didn't give me an std. he claims " didn't sleep with them". He met them physically on different occasions.

OP posts:
greenspaces4peace · 05/02/2023 01:38

You know in your heart that’s probably one lie in a series of lies.
earlier you mentioned different cultures does this affect your ability to leave?

Eyerollcentral · 05/02/2023 01:41

Please do not tell me you believe this bullshit from your husband. Get an std test. Many do not have immediate symptoms. Make sure you are protected contraceptive wise, do not have any more children with a man dedicated to making a fool of you, which is what a married man who says he is just pals with a succession of random women is doing to you. Please believe me, you deserve so much better

MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 05/02/2023 01:44

For me when people talk about height in cm and weight in kg it might as well as be height 'two tall goats, one standing on the back of the other' and weight '7 bags of potato peelings'

Original poster
Zamummy · 05/02/2023 01:45

More info about my relationship

DH is 6'2, muscular and good looking. He doesn't go unnoticed by women and they love flirting with him. He told me once " women love your husband". I always took it as a joke..
during my first pregnancy, I saw texts by 2 different women he met while I was away. I was around 6months pregnant and had such a shock! My baby never turned and had a c-section. After I got the baby, I found more proof on his phone with recordings from different women. We separated for awhile and got back together... I felt bad for my child growing up without his father and wanted just one father for all my kids in the future. Second pregnancy now and I still cannot trust him

OP posts:
MurderAtTheBeautyPageant · 05/02/2023 01:46

Get rid of the husband though rather than pondering your optimum height weight ratios

Original poster
Zamummy · 05/02/2023 01:48

greenspaces4peace · 05/02/2023 01:38

You know in your heart that’s probably one lie in a series of lies.
earlier you mentioned different cultures does this affect your ability to leave?

The cultural aspect might have something to do with it as well...

OP posts:
greenspaces4peace · 05/02/2023 01:51

well right now please eat healthy for yourself and for the baby.

it doesn't matter how physically attractive or "charming" he appears cheaters and liars are repulsive.

FiveShelties · 05/02/2023 01:52

Why do you want more children with a men you can't trust. If he is already up to over 5 other women, how many will be enough for him?

Eyerollcentral · 05/02/2023 01:53

‘He told me once " women love your husband". I always took it as a joke..’ omg this kind of ‘joke’ is straight from the prick playbook. Keeping you on your toes. That’s not what a loving husband does

SkyHippoOnACloud · 05/02/2023 02:07

Zamummy · 05/02/2023 01:13

If I put the whole story here, people might think I am trolling. I might have stayed with him because I want my kids to have the same father. Is that wrong?

Show quote history

Yes, very wrong. For a start it's lead to you being confused about how your own body should be and cheated on multiple times which is disrespectful to you. A very unhealthy situation. Then your DC get to see you being disrespected, so you're not modelling what a good relationship looks like, how women should be treated, how men should act. He didn't cheat on you because of your body, he cheated on you because he's a lowlife who doesn't respect you. If you respected yourself you wouldn't put up with it. So by putting up with it you're disrespecting yourself and that's very bad indeed. You can't control his behaviour by any means. Not by changing yourself, by being a different weight, looking different, acting different or trying to become whatever you think he wants. Even if you managed to change into whatever his ideal woman is, he'd see you disrespecting yourself like that (by not being yourself) and he'd disrespect you even more. So it wouldn't stop him. It's a losing battle, even if you 'win'.

bluebeardswife7 · 05/02/2023 02:10

I don't know about weight, but you can smell the smug for miles..

RhadamanthNemes · 05/02/2023 02:10

@Zamummy

So many very cool stories.

PitYerTapOan · 05/02/2023 02:14

63 llbs.

Women should take up as little space as possible.

PousseyNotMoira · 05/02/2023 03:26

Luredbyapomegranate · 05/02/2023 00:32

Well you kicked off with ‘ideal weight for ladies’ and now we have someone giving her ‘hourglass figure measurements’ TBH by 2Am someone will be taking about their ‘little procedure’ to have a rib removed to maintain their hand-spun waist, and by dawn someone will be on about being ‘honeymoon fresh’. I have a good mind to report you OP I really have.

🤣🤣🤣

SarcasticIntrovert · 05/02/2023 04:07

Lose the weight that is your husband and focus on being happy. Your kids can still have a Dad but you can move on.

Reinventinganna · 05/02/2023 07:10

Your husband hasn’t cheated because of your weight. He’s cheated because he’s a horrible person.

LabradorEyes · 05/02/2023 08:02

The problem is your husband not your weight. How many more kids do you intend to produce with this prick?

He will never change so the more kids you have, the more children will grow up with a father who doesn't respect their mother. You have to feel sorry for all of them

PatientlyWaiting21 · 05/02/2023 08:08

Your ideal weight is the one where you feel most comfortable