I'm a manly woman it seems..how can I be more feminine?

[OkilyDoke]

Despite my best efforts I appear to be a "manly" woman. Orat least people keep mistaking me for a man, particularly at work. I'm not beautiful, definitely less attractive than average, but I dress well, I keep my (admittedly short) hair well styled and cared for, I wear nice jewellery and scent, not much make up, but primer and mascara..I have a high pitched voice. I'm caring.and gentle, so possibly feminine in that way. But, still. What can I do to be more feminine? I can't do high heels or lipstick, and I like my short hair and get a lot of compliments. What's left?

Do you think it’s also that short hair on a woman isn’t as common now, at least on a younger woman?

With other PPs here. Just ignore. I have problems on phone - I'm quite clipped and have a deep voice so often have things coming to Mr Crosstalk or getting called sir. I'm not going to change my voice or whatever. Nor when you look good should you change anything. Just practise raising an eyebrow!

XX chromosomes are the thing. If you have those, you have nothing to prove, so wear whatever your like and style your hair any way you feel comfortable.

you, not your.

Practice saying "I AM NO MAN" like Eowyn in Return of the King. I have a gif of this on my desktop to pull out in case of any confusion on Teams calls.

Hmmmm

Same

I have short hair as well but on second glance I'm quite obviously female, it's just when people aren't paying attention usually

I think people sometimes pick up subliminal messages from posture and movement. Hands in pockets and legs apart, taking up a lot of space, or striding along freely is more typically male. Contorting yourself to take up as little space as possible and adopting a cross-legged pose is more typically female. (Not that any of this is a good thing.)

But I do think people pick up clues about gender from the way other people carry themselves, as well as more consciously noting features and dress of course.

I hate to suggest this, but it may be a "trans" misgendering issue - especially as you say it's lots of young people.

People (especially young people) have been led to believe that "women" dress as women and "men" dress as men.

Therefore you with short hair, flat shoes etc are treated as a man.

Whereas in fact you are a perfectly normal woman who sees no need to dress in pink and high heels, and nor should you btw.

I bet you look beautifully gamine and if you're happy with your style sod everyone else.

If you're not happy with your style then think about having your colour and style done. Had mine done with house of colour and it made a big difference to my style. I feel more my self now.
Im gamine BTW which can be androgynous or very feminine.

Well that should give the game away!

How have you come to that conclusion? @IStandWithMaya was making the point that femininity isn't all pink frills and botox but much wider than that. I see no sexism there at all.

I certainly didn't intend for my comment to be interpreted that I was sexist.

I am, believe me, the exact opposite. 🤣

Some people are very unobservant.
I too think it might be the younger more woke people who come out with this crap.
Don’t change your hair just stare at them if they refer to you as a man.

Is it just men who get your gender wrong?

I always smile when people say they can always tell if someone is a man or a woman. Years ago I worked in a police station, I worked with vice squad officers and I can tell you that men who were caught in a sex act with a trans prostitute were often upset, sometimes vomiting once they were convinced it was a man.

New officers would sometimes say they couldn't tell, I'd say check their hair and make up, if it's perfect it's a man. Sort of a joke but it was often true.

Im sure I read that men DO find it more difficult. Women have evolved to recognize males easily - they have to!

I don't know but I do know the female officers didn't seem to find it any easier than the male officers.

You sound really happy in yourself and your sense of style sounds amazing.
I’ve been told I look like a boy because I’m little and flat chested and I wear trackies most of the time! I figure that others will also make judgements so wear what you enjoy and try to tell yourself hat other peoples opinions are non of your business

I think if you are 38G and people mistake you for a man, they really aren't paying attention!

As for the 'small children can tell the difference' comment.... the other day one of DS6 classmates asked me if I was DS mum or DS dad.

I am 5' 4, 32DDD, and have long hair. I was wearing fairly androgynous clothes at the time as on way to a martial arts class but was still a bit 'huh?!'

In addition to all the points above - I sometimes think the way people move, walk, talk, hold themselves etc etc give as many clues as more obvious things like hair?

Don't conform to other people's expectations. I was sat people watching the other day outside a station in London and was struck by just how diverse we are. In every conceivable way from ethnicity, to size, shape and fashion etc.

If it was the first time you'd encountered humans, you'd think they were 100 different species. It was an almost revelatory experience.

Nature is beautiful and humans, being part of it, are too, all of them.

It’s just the hair. It’s unusual for women to have very short hair these days which is a shame as it generally looks great. Given that you choose (and like) the hair, stop thinking it’s an integral part of you, and view it as the downside of something you could change, but choose not to…

Your workplace sounds odd. How do people mistake you for a man? Do they tell you?