I'm a manly woman it seems..how can I be more feminine?

[OkilyDoke]

Despite my best efforts I appear to be a "manly" woman. Orat least people keep mistaking me for a man, particularly at work. I'm not beautiful, definitely less attractive than average, but I dress well, I keep my (admittedly short) hair well styled and cared for, I wear nice jewellery and scent, not much make up, but primer and mascara..I have a high pitched voice. I'm caring.and gentle, so possibly feminine in that way. But, still. What can I do to be more feminine? I can't do high heels or lipstick, and I like my short hair and get a lot of compliments. What's left?

Definitely don't grow your hair - if you're wearing dresses and skirts and they still think you're a man then the usual cues mean nothing to them anyway.

When you say they think you're a man, how are they conveying this to you? Are they calling you "he"? Or asking you if you are a man? Or do you have a colleague who tells you this is happening?

I'm broad-shouldered and have short hair too and get called Sir perhaps once or twice a year. I always point to my 40D girls and tell the idiot to go to Specsavers!

Maybe I should do the same!

Is it just laziness? I'm taller than many men. I stand tall. I stride. I have broad shoulders. When I run, I think I look like a man. But I rarely get called one. I honestly can't think of any women I know who would be mistaken for men.

I am broad shouldered and recently had a bra analysis by Styled by Susie - omg I have cleavage now! Gone from 34B to 30DD. So good fitting lingerie I'd say is fundamental.

I think people are not that observant. If you really want to present as what society considers to be feminine to make it easier for people who can't be bothered to look then you probably know what to do. It would be grow your hair, wear more obvious make up, wear dresses and skirts in feminine colours (as established by society) and wear high heels. I suspect longer hair would be the most effective way of signalling to those that cannot see.

If you can't be arsed doing all that (and I couldn't be arsed) then don't. Just tell yourself that they are unobservant people not worth your thoughts.

You sound perfect to me. I wouldn't change a thing and I certainly wouldn't care what people who don't even matter think.

My first response is to suggest you don't let it bother you but taking your question at face value, big dangly earrings might be an easy solution, especially if it's at work so you're sitting down and they can't see your skirt, etc?

If you are female then however you look is feminine. You could wear "mens clothes" and you'd still look feminine because you're female.

Fuck the rules. Be who you are. You don't have to look or act a certain way.

try not to give a fuck and just own who you are

I bet you are beautiful. Just not to yourself, which is a bit sad.

I've got a friend who would likely go gaga at you. All his previous wives looked very manly and were very tall. He's 5'2.

All I'd say is when his ex wives dressed up to look more feminine, they kind of looked worse. Almost drag like rather than feminine They were beautiful women in themselves though. His first wife completely rocked her looks, then second filled and Botox herself to the hilt.

Maybe look for examples of similar women in the public domain that style themselves well. I can't think of any off the top of my head.

Fuck 'em! You sound lovely!

Bit weird that people think you're a man after your last post.

Are you sure they do?

If so, what do they say? "Oh sorry I thought you were a bloke"?

I mean I worry about this because of the increasing anti-trans rhetoric. In 6 foot, short hair and dress andeogenously. I like my style and can't change my height but I do worry sometimes. What do you do if asked to leave a bathroom because people don't believe you're a woman? I have friends it's happened to. I've certainly had people side eye me.

When you were mistaken for a man were you wearing the dangly earrings and showing cleavage? Or were you on that day in more androgynous clothings?
You can't chisel off your shoulders (and why should you?!) but you could dress to de-emphasize them if you so wish. This might be done by wearing more voluminous bottoms such as an A line skirt or a tulip skirt with pockets on hips for width and rebalancing the body proportions. Darker plain V neck tops and lighter bottoms with details. Lots of tips on this if you google how to make small shoulders look smaller.
You don't want to grow your hair out, that's up to you but longer hair is more feminine looking.

Your style sounds fabulous!

Are they "woke" youngsters who somehow think you've changed sex because you have short hair? And yes, this has happened to me.....

I misgendered a teenage custoner yesterday. He looked like a slightly older version of his sister, with the exact same hair and features! Their mum put me right and I apologised. But it sounds like OP does have obvious attributes that point to her sex, it's just the hair that confuses people. I wasn't very observant yesterday. Maybe people misgendering OP do the same?

Mascara, blusher. ?

I agree, is it the woke crew whose first assumption is that you've changed sex rather than that you don't have little doll features. Who thinks that a woman with your bust is a man

ps, i've never ever thought a tall woman was a man because of her height. you can just tell. It's very instinctive. we look at each other and in about point zero five of a second we've assessed if the person is male or not.

I was going to ask if you do wear suits or trousers/ shirt for work as some suits or uniforms look rather masculine, but not, so there can be no logic reason.

I'm sorry this is bothering you. It's not a problem in and of itself - you sound really stylish and I bet your hair is perfect on you - but it is a problem if it's getting you down.

I just think that the solution - change your look by growing your hair or wearing heals or big makeup or whatever other stereotypy crap - comes with its own set of problems. Not as comfortable. Not as authentically you.

The best thing would be to learn to shrug it off and not be hurt. Much easier said than done. But you sound great and should dress and cut your hair exactly as you please.

Well, there are men with moobs and even if you are busty, if you wear a bad bra that has them down to your waist or wear things that squash (compress) the breasts or some outfit that hides them, it could look like a large man.
This is not a dig at you personally op but I say the above because I have been confused about whether someone is a man or a woman before exactly because they looked like they could be either. There are women with more masculine traits and men with more feminine traits. the traits could be biological (body shape or face) or deliberate style choices. Needless to say I was mortified. Things that have confused me is men with small slight build and feminine features in clothes that could be worn by a man or a woman, no facial hair, or women that were tall with short hair and a boyish body frame in gender neutral clothes. If the voice is not distinctly masculine or feminine either that makes guessing more difficult for me.

I have short hair and get misgendered now and then as well, and tbh I don’t give a shit. I’m a woman and I am therefore what a woman looks like (amongst the myriad of other ways there are!). OP, rock your look - you sound fab to me. In my experience, it’s been people who just glance, see short hair, and due to automatic stereotyping code you as male initially. That’s their problem, not yours. Don’t change yourself because of other people’s slow mental processing.

Can we not be so sexist? Pink frills and botoxed lips is what femininity is to you?

You're free to be as you are. Don't judge other people for that same freedom.