Awkward funeral dress code

[Franjolele]

I need help working out what to wear to a funeral this week. I've been told "not funeral black" but when I've asked what people are actually wearing, they are wearing something like black trousers and top / bright jacket, or black skirt / bright top / black jacket.
This feels very awkward to me:

1. I am autistic and find a lot of formal clothes uncomfortable, so I was going to just wear a simple black dress
2. I don't have a lot of formal wear and can't afford to buy anything new just for one occasion
3. I know this might be awkward of me, but think that black clothes + one bright item looks awful and dated!
4. My relationship with the person who has set the dress code is not comfortable and this "not all black, but some black" requirement is making me feel like it's a test which I might easily fail (see above re autism and finding social occasions awkward and testing)

This is giving me a lot of anxiety so please be kind! Would the black dress with bright coloured tights underneath and a bright bag work do you think? I thought one answer might be a bright scarf but I find scarves fussy and irritating to wear. Thank you if anyone has any ideas.

If you don't like black with a bright colour how about lifting your black dress with something light or pastel coloured. Powder blue, baby pink, mauve, lilac, dove grey, cream, white, lemon, mint, duck egg, camel, tan, silver, gold etc.

Or a darker colour, a rich purple, deep emerald green or racing green, burgundy, aubergine all would give a bit of colour without being too jarring.

Maybe a scarf or cardi with your black dress even a coat or just shoes and bag. Perhaps some coloured jewellery?

Dress codes are awful, especially at a funeral FFS. I sympathise, most people will ignore them anyway but i think you should wear your comfortable black dress and a coloured accessory. Hope if goes on.

Goes ok

I hope it went ok op

Focusing on what clothes to wear is just an expression of general anxiety about the event. I think it's natural to feel this way before a funeral. No one wants to go to a funeral. But really they do work.

All the suggestions sound fine. Have you got a white jacket or shirt + a tan/white/grey bag you could put with the dress if you don't like black with brights (I don't either)?