Dark hair going grey.

[Queenmargery]

I know there have been many, many threads about this already but I really need help, ideas, advice about my hair. I'm heading towards 50. I have naturally very straight, dark brunette hair. I have brown eyes and pale olive skin.
My hair is making me feel so down. I have quite a lot of grey. I can't decide what to do with it. I'm a fairly low maintenance person. I have used home dyes for a few years with the occasional salon visit.
It grows quickly and because of the grey the condition isn't what it once was. I don't straighten or heat style so I feel the condition should be better.
I never look well groomed and put together. I've considered going grey and have let it grow out quite a few inches. My rational brain tells me it's fine. Women don't have to dye their hair, nothing wrong with going grey but then I see a glimpse of myself and it looks awful.
My friends have gone for the gradually lighter look and now are both blonde. They are different colouring to me though, naturally lighter hair and blue eyes. I've never wanted to be blonde or have lighter hair.
I just want to look like the younger me but without the hassle and expense of dye which I know isn't possible. I think the combination of the very straight, dark hair makes the contrast of the grey so obvious.
Sorry for the essay. Is anyone's hair similar? Any advice?

Thanks

The problem with dying your hair is once you start the contrast to the roots is very stark and noticeable. I am a strong believer that your own colour is usually the best one, and that includes grey. I am happy embracing the grey.

Could you ask the hairdresser to do something to the dyed hair to soften it to match the roots, even if that means stripping out most of the colour and then going to a mix of brown and grey. Done once and you shouldn’t have to do it again.

Grey hair does stick out more and is tougher, at first I think it softens, so a good conditioner and anti frizz serum might help.

I tried the Defy Grey shampoo and whilst it does work it also makes your greys a reddish brown. That didn't work for me as my natural colour is cool dark so the reddish colour looked awful against my face.

I used a Tresemme colour mask/conditioner and this was cooler I think. Trouble was for me that my hair is very greasy and the colour mask was quite moisturising. I would love to have long grey hair, I actually hate my natural colour it’s very ash and doesn’t suit me. Unfortunately I’m not that grey yet 10 to 15 percent max and I’m not a spring chicken !

I use Defy Grey. I have dark brown hair with increasing grey. The roots at the front always look white but once the hair is an inch or two long, the colour becomes dark blond/light brown, so it must be a gradual build up. I was recently complemented on my highlights!

Never heard of this defy grey shampoo thing. I’m going to get some straight away.

@667TheNeighbourOfTheBeast a couple of minutes, but every wash. Just while I wash the rest of me!

Have just started using it too, the parting line is noticeably better. It means I don't have to colour it myself between appointments. The temples still need some work but I've seen an improvement definitely.

I have naturally dark hair, eyebrows and olive skin. I would recommend going to a decent hairdresser for some subtle caramel tones that will blend in, you need to find a recommended colourist. Every 6 weeks you will just need a root touch up to match your natural dark hair. The caramel highlights are only put in twice a year but just give the hair a lift.

Otherwise, a decent home brown hair dye (go a bit lighter as they come out too dark otherwise). Olive skin, need ash tone dyes. Only touch up roots when required, not the full length to avoid colour build up.

My hair is also very dark. So when my grey comes in it’s black/grey which isn’t very nice and it looks greasy in those tons.
dark brown makes it too dark. I think I need to dye it a lighter brown to make it work.

My colourings similar OP but I'd been box dyeing my hair for years (I'm 45 and been going grey slowly since I was about 25). It grows quite quickly though so I was having to retouch the roots every couple of weeks.
I've grown it out and it's now below shoulder length and almost completely silver. I tried the strip dye method for a bit but it didn't really work for me (you basically just colour the roots along your parting and let the underneath grow out). I wore it French plaited a lot and then eventually it looked like a reverse ombre.
I occasionally wish it was back to dark (it was naturally almost black) but I wouldn't go back now.

Your hair looks amaaaazing! Thank you so much for linking this product it literally looks like a dream come true; thank you thank you thank you!

I also use Defy Grey, though my natural hair colour is more mouse/dark blonde. I sometimes mix it with purple shampoo to tone it and use a little bit of just for men control gx on the very white bits, which is too dark for me to use generally. I use the Defy Grey mousse as well. I’m pretty happy with it overall though might try the Plantur 39 off this thread. I love grey on some people and I have some friends who look brilliant with it, I just don’t like it on me.