Dark hair going grey.

[Queenmargery]

I know there have been many, many threads about this already but I really need help, ideas, advice about my hair. I'm heading towards 50. I have naturally very straight, dark brunette hair. I have brown eyes and pale olive skin.
My hair is making me feel so down. I have quite a lot of grey. I can't decide what to do with it. I'm a fairly low maintenance person. I have used home dyes for a few years with the occasional salon visit.
It grows quickly and because of the grey the condition isn't what it once was. I don't straighten or heat style so I feel the condition should be better.
I never look well groomed and put together. I've considered going grey and have let it grow out quite a few inches. My rational brain tells me it's fine. Women don't have to dye their hair, nothing wrong with going grey but then I see a glimpse of myself and it looks awful.
My friends have gone for the gradually lighter look and now are both blonde. They are different colouring to me though, naturally lighter hair and blue eyes. I've never wanted to be blonde or have lighter hair.
I just want to look like the younger me but without the hassle and expense of dye which I know isn't possible. I think the combination of the very straight, dark hair makes the contrast of the grey so obvious.
Sorry for the essay. Is anyone's hair similar? Any advice?

Thanks

Mine is similar.
I had a panic and used a home dye but I hated it. The colour wasn’t as pictured on the box, it stank for weeks (despite daily washing) and I just could not be doing with the upkeep every few weeks. I’ve decided I’m just letting it stay natural. I’ve just got a couple of inches of dye left on the ends.

There are quite a few videos of women on Tick-tock growing out their dye and embracing their natural grey. I have a friend who’s natural hair is almost black she’s so dark and she’s been going grey for a few years so is now very grey. She’s embracing her natural look. One friend looks hennaed, one dyes it so dark it’s very unnatural looking and one has gone very blonde. The very grey one actually looks the best tbh so I’m hoping I will end up looking pretty good too!

@Whatsthestorytomorrow Thanks for replying. How long has it taken to get to the stage you are at now?

I think I need to go a lot shorter and maybe add some texture or something but I've no idea how.

Im exactly the same colouring. I have a medium brown colour put on every few months to cover the grey, mine goes grey in strands rather than at the roots, bit weird.
I’m not ready to go grey, each to their own and all that though.

Mine is similar and I found that Nice and Easy semi permanent no. 77 is great because it doesn't completely cover the greys in a horrible fake looking block but it gently blends them so they look lighter ashy brown, and it adds shine overall. Plus because it's semi permanent there's no damage.

do not colour your hair.
find a good hairdresser and have a good cut; maybe try a barber's if you are willing to try a short style.
they are better at precision cutting.
all the best.

@Queenmargery Are you dyeing it currently ? Sorry it’s not clear from your post , or I’m just tired lol

If you’re not already colouring it then I wouldn’t start to do it with a permanent colour because then you will have to grow it out at some point well you don’t have to but you know what I mean. I have long straight dark hair with bit of grey too, I don’t look good blonde, I use a semi permanent on mine to blend the grey in but I’m not bothered about the grey showing I just don’t like my natural colour as it’s very ash and drains me. I don’t have to do it all the time as it washes out. Sometimes I leave it months before I do it again. You could also try a colour mask to add shine and blend the grey it’s sort of like a conditioner with a bit of colour. People have also mentioned on here Aveda colour shampoos but I haven’t used that myself. Tbh it sounds like it could look quite striking with the grey, I get it’s how you feel in yourself though.
The other alternative is to go to a salon and have lowlights put through in a warmer colour, don’t let them persuade you to go blonder with highlights as I think sometimes hairdressers just presume older women all want to be lighter ! It doesn’t suit everyone

Yes, I put a permanent colour in myself about 4 months ago. By that time I already had about 3 inches of roots. I'm back to about that much grey at the roots again and quite a lot at my temples too.

A hairdresser friend was really impressed with my hair when we met up after lockdown- no more roots and the white bits look like highlights. Using this and same range conditioner. It costs about £30 every three months.

Etinoxaurus Your hair is beautiful!

How much grey do you have without the shampoo?

I had long, dark brown (almost black) wavy hair which I wore straightened. I now have long white hair, sometimes straight, sometimes curly depending on my mood. My hair is in so much better conditions and is less frizzy as I no longer dye it. I am pale olive with green eyes and dark grown eyebrows. I never thought I'd suit pale hair but somehow my natural colour works with my skin tone.

I tied it up a lot when growing it out, once you're past the first inch or so it looks less of a harsh line than it does with just a little regrowth. It takes so little effort to maintain now. Best decision I ever made.

One factor to consider is that your skin tone may change as you get older. So a darker shade can look harsh.

I've been going gradually lighter as I couldn't keep up with the greys. At the moment, I'm a light brown colour which is good. I'm not sure I will go blonde but lighter seems easier to maintain. So, an option is to go a bit lighter and see how you feel?

Yes very similar problems. Straight, dark ash brown hair which was very shiny when I was young. Pale olive skin, hazel eyes, very dark eyelashes and eyebrows. My greys are actually white and the contrast with my dark hair is very strong. I also don't want highlights. I simply don't like brassy yellow caramel highlights on dark hair, the grey roots still show through and they wouldn't suit my colouring. Sticking with dark hair dye atm (occasional salon visits with root touch up home). It is an issue knowing what to do.

Oooh interesting to know that this shampoo works.

Your hair looks lovely but it's much lighter than mine.

Similar issue. Not ready to give into greys if only because they are coming through in patchy clumps. If I let it grow through I would resemble a mutant raccoon.

I just get my roots coloured same as natural hair colour. Either hairdresser or diy at home with an esalon kit. Both quick & easy and the esalon colour does not stink or destroy the hair.

@Caroffee you sound very similar to me. I also don't really like the look of a lot of highlights on very dark hair. I tried some low lights years ago and they were very orangey looking despite me telling the hairdress that was what I didn't want.

Your hair is very nice @Etinoxaurus but a lot lighter than mine.
Is the waviness you have natural? It's lovely.

OP I was like you. I dyed my hair with L'oreal Excellence for years. I used a lighter colour than my own and it worked beautifully until the grey became white/silver/prolific and then I stopped.
In my sixties now and have silver hair in fab condition.

It’s naturally dark/ white without the shampoo! That’s the effect. Wait I’ll find a pic of when I didn’t use it.
90% of the time it’s in a messy bun with short periods of lovely waves before I scrape it back again in menopausal hot and bothered irritation.

Thank you! 😊
Here it is without shampoo- very dark apart from the white bits. It’s doesn’t lighten it, just makes the white bits darker. And when I don’t use it, as in the photo on holiday it just returns to natural- first time in decades I’ve not had roots or the inevitable brassiness as colour fades or gets sun damaged.

@Queenmargery I dyed mine with permanent dye for years, I then switched to a semi permanent (apply only to regrowth) which fades out gradually with no root regrowth while I grew it out. I don’t have much grey but I had dyed my hair for so long I wasn’t sure how much I had ! You could maybe try that until it’s long enough to cut. It’s personal choice though as I notice you said you couldn’t be bothered colouring again and that’s fair enough it’s such a faff. Maybe try the colour depositing shampoos ?

Mine is dark brown with isolated greys, I have found that Lush Brun henna keeps the bulk of it very close to it's natural colour and makes the greys a very dark blonde which tones in nicely. It is a bit of a faff to say the least though and I think I won't be able to keep up with regrowth as they get more and more grey (at the moment it is lots of separate strands not whole areas). I used to use the marron one (reddish brown) but I think that might leave them a bit coppery. I have also used the L'Oreal touch up pen before I started the henna again, that is a useful temporary fix but fiddly and washes out.

I have long thick naturally brown hair. Olive skin and green eyes with dark eyebrows. My greys are white.

Ive literally just been discussing with the hairdresser the plan to go Targaryen white blonde once the greys are coming through more. Full on platinum.

@Etinoxaurus your hair is lovely!

@Etinoxaurus gosh what a difference. I have quite a bit more grey than you at the front but very little at the back, so am going to give that shampoo a try!