Dark hair going grey.

[Queenmargery]

I know there have been many, many threads about this already but I really need help, ideas, advice about my hair. I'm heading towards 50. I have naturally very straight, dark brunette hair. I have brown eyes and pale olive skin.
My hair is making me feel so down. I have quite a lot of grey. I can't decide what to do with it. I'm a fairly low maintenance person. I have used home dyes for a few years with the occasional salon visit.
It grows quickly and because of the grey the condition isn't what it once was. I don't straighten or heat style so I feel the condition should be better.
I never look well groomed and put together. I've considered going grey and have let it grow out quite a few inches. My rational brain tells me it's fine. Women don't have to dye their hair, nothing wrong with going grey but then I see a glimpse of myself and it looks awful.
My friends have gone for the gradually lighter look and now are both blonde. They are different colouring to me though, naturally lighter hair and blue eyes. I've never wanted to be blonde or have lighter hair.
I just want to look like the younger me but without the hassle and expense of dye which I know isn't possible. I think the combination of the very straight, dark hair makes the contrast of the grey so obvious.
Sorry for the essay. Is anyone's hair similar? Any advice?

Thanks

I was the same, I had blonde highlights put in it, lots of them, so when the grey came through it didn't show as much. My hair is bra strap length and completely grey. I love it and I don't have to sue it anymore

Thank you! And @LizzieSiddal 🥰
After years of spending £££ on highlights and cuts only to look like a badger most of the time I now spend nothing! All the brassiness grew out over lockdown, I think the shampoo and conditioner costs about £3/week, and I wash it most days and I cut it myself.

My hair is similar. My dad is south Asian and I have very dark natural hair to my shoulders.

I ended up having to dye it every 3 to 4 weeks. Then I wanted to have dark but with lots of purple in. The hairdresser bleached it to lighten the box dye to get the purple to show. Then it needed doing 3 weeks later so I started using box dye again. Got fed up of it a.

I am growing it out now. Been about 4 months and have about 4 - 5 inches of growth. I am 40 and my skin is paler or rather seems to be less olive than when I was younger so the dark made me looked washed out anyway. I though I would hate growing it out, but actually I love it. Something about not going through a rigmarole every few weeks, because of what others think about women with grey hair and what that has made me think about my natural hair, makes me feel quite free.

Theres been a few comments at work ‘oh you need to do your roots’ and I just respond ‘no, I don’t’.

Or ‘are you worried it will make you look older?’ And I respond ‘why would that be a problem or something to worry about?’ And no one bothers anymore.

I am going to grow it out for a year and then have a big chop

I have dark brown hair with grey streaks at the front and ever increasing isolated grey elsewhere . I think the key is a good cut ( Ive gone from hair half way down my back to just above my shoulders) . I can’t afford expensive shampoo and conditioner but just keep changing brand which seems to work until my hair gets used to whatever is in the product . What you wear also makes a difference .. I no longer wear anything silver grey and try and stick to black or bright colours .

I did this too, as was grey at the front and dark at the back. Evened it out. Now I wash in pink colour with my conditioner 1-2 x a week and it looks funky but is still obviously grey. I love it.

And yes to above poster. Also banished all grey from wardrobe and embrace colour.

Can I ask what product you use? The pink that you mix with conditioner. one of the reasons I am growing mine out is so I can do this.

Thank you

I use Schwarzkopf temporary colour drops in petal pink. Back looks like this. Front much pinker.

Thank you so much. That’s exactly the effect I am looking forward to getting.

So excited to be completely grey!

They last forever too. I've been doing this about four months and got over half the bottle left. I don't even bother with gloves any more, am just careful when mixing drops into a big dollop of conditioner in the shower.

I know this is an oldish thread but have read your stories with interest. I am dark and about 1.5 inches into growing out dyed hair. Pressure is coming from everywhere to do my roots! By the more grey that comes through the more I’m determined. Have medium length hair at the mo, am going to get a couple of inches chopped off. The money I’m saving on my hair dye is going straight into my face. Am booked in for second derma appointment in a couple of weeks!!!

i found there was comments about doing my roots when there was a couple of inches of re growth.

Now mine is about 5 inches, maybe a bit longer I think people have realised I am doing it on purpose and stopped. Keep going.

Like pps I am growing it to chin length, maybe a bit longer then having all the dyed ends cut out.

That’s a really good idea to spend the money on other treats that make you feel good.

I have some highlights but then use a grey toner over them so that my natural grey just blends with those!

I only have them done about once or twice per year & through the lower layers of my hair so I don't get that root growing out thing

Your hair looks amazing. Sorry I can't see where you have said what product you are using?

Thank you 🥰
The link is hidden in the text-
Plantur Brown Shampoo

How bloody rude are people to mention your roots to you ? I can see another poster had said people said about her roots. I wouldn’t dream of saying anything even to a close friend unless they asked me. Honestly people should mine there own business!

I have the same colouring. I stuck it out for 9 months without dye, but it just felt so unflattering, I caved in the end and went back to dye. My current favourite is this one. It's very dark for the first few washes and then lightens up to a nice medium brown. I do have to use bronzer and blusher daily, or the contrast between my eyes and skin is too stark.
www.superdrug.com/hair/hair-colourants/permanent-hair-dye/garnier-nutrisse-permanent-hair-dye-luminous-chesnut-413/p/813864?gclsrc=aw.ds&gclsrc=aw.ds&gclid=EAIaIQobChMIkvz4uL_9-gIVENnVCh1GTgYdEAQYAiABEgLEQvD_BwE

Grey always looks worse when it's root growth. The contrast is too stark. But when it's the full length of your hair, however long that is, it looks utterly different. With the right hair products, greys can give your hair a sparkle.

I have dark wavy hair with a lot of grey unevenly distributed through it. The overall effect is still dark, except under harsh fluorescent lights. I recently had a new headshot done for work. My hair was loose and the photographer tweaked a few locks here and there before taking the photo. I assumed he was hiding the grey, but when he showed me the shot on the screen I realised that he had deliberately exposed the biggest lock of grey. It looked marvellous against the generally darker hair.

Wiith 3" of grey roots I think I would go for the chop. Get rid of all the dyed hair and embrace your new look.

To improve the condition and texture of your greys, try using hair products suitable for CurlyGirl method. They are generally gentler on your hair and leave it in lovely condition. www.curlsbot.com is very useful for checking the ingredients of hair products to see whether they will be drying or harsh.

For inspiration has anyone seen Caroline Flint (ex Labour MP) recently? She was on the news and her once dark brown hair is now completely grey and white. A very nice salt and pepper look. I think she did a lockdown transition. Anyway her hair looks fab and she was wearing strong glasses and pink lippy which really set it off.

Her colouring is exactly like mine so I thought if she can do it I can too! (Still some way off yet for me but a plan for the future).

My hair is same as yours OP. At first sign of grey I did semi-permanent colours in my original colour with a slight red tint, and the condition and colour looked fantastic - but it grew out so fast (and stained all my towels). So I let hair dresser talk me into permanent blond highlights instead. Hate them. The effect is of a wannabe blond who’s drifted into mousy-brown by mistake.

Now I have 4 inch roots reminding me that my natural dark with silver is so much nicer than the crappy highlights! So next time I’m going to ask for dark lowlights in the areas away from the face.

Also I really recommend a brazilian blow dry (the keratin treatment version) it takes away the frizz from grey and makes it silky for 3-6 months.

Caroline Flint though!!😍 this is what I want to look like. This I can relate to as an everyday pic of a non model who has not just stepped out of a salon.

Mine is much greyer around the hair line. I've had a fringe cut which has really helped me to have less grey around my face.

It was a sweaty mess in the summer though!

@Etinoxaurus. Your hair looks so lovely. Can I just check, if you stop using the shampoo all the pigment gradually washes (completely) out? I'm tempted to try it but really REALLY don't want to be left with grey roots to grow out if I stop using it.

I've spent the past three years growing out my highlights - I'd hate to be back to square one, which I would be if the colour effect is even little bit permament.

Another vote for shampoo with a bit of dye in it. I;ve been using the John Frieda Defy Grey shampoo for a couple of months for all my grey strands and it has taken the bright white bits to a light brown colour which blends in really well.

Before that I henna'd my very dark brown hair for years, then got to the stage of having to do it every four weeks or so and it looking unreasonably dark against my changing skin tone (lush brun, so not red). I'm really happy with the shampoo - no roots and slightly lighter hair but not grey. Mines about 15% grey I guess, and as strands, mostly above my ears and centre parting.

@RedLeggedChuff I’ve looked at this too, how long do you leave it on for ? My hair is dark with about 10 to 15% grey more at temples. I’ve been using a non peroxide non ammonia Demi which blend the grey in and colours it light brown but it’s making the rest of my hair quite dark and I can’t be arsed to be honest!