I need to look more, well, directors wife. Help me.

[CMOTDibbler]

I have absolutely zero context for this. I have a very good career of my own, and thanks to MN wear Reiss, The Fold, Winser when I need to look smart in that.
But, DH now co owns a successful SME and suddenly there will be a need for me to accompany him to dinner with his contacts (before he would get taken out by people to private members clubs, Michelin star places, but again a step up now), dinner parties and corporate stuff.
I have no chuffing idea of appropriate outfits and accessories (jewellery, handbag)that work for this. I have previously worn a Shibumi longline jacket and Alice Temperly plether trousers for posher dinners but it doesn't feel quite right. Maybe it is though.
I'm tall, size 12, 32FF but otherwise very straight up and down from the front, curvy bum.
Where do I look? What marks you out as looking well put together, not flashy, but still me?
Thanks for any advice, I don't know anyone IRL to ask

I suspect you probably already have lots of good items in your wardrobe that you could wear out for dinner but perhaps you just need a few new pieces to refresh what you have. Maybe you could start by seeing if you can find one or two
suitable evening outfits to start you off. I would say that whatever you might wear to look smart at work would perfectly suit a formal dinner plus you will need a more casual option.

Also consider some simple
classic jewellery and a good handbag and shoes or boots. I also like Wyse London and Cefinn, you might want to have a look at those.

Hmm. Do you ever wear dresses ? For dinner things you need something softer and more glam than for a daytime event. You will probably need a couple of full length dresses. I think hiring this sort of dress gives you more choice than buying. So an Alice Temperley evening dress might fit with your style but also be glamorous enough ?

Thanks both. I wear dresses for work a lot, but I sort of feel like I need something a bit softer than my full on corporate self when I'm not there in my own role if that makes sense. But maybe that is a transference of anxiety about this new role in my life which has come about fairly quickly.
I like Wyse London, and the idea of Cefinn, but nothing from Cefinn suits me somehow.
DH has decided on some proper diamond studs for my birthday (I'm a very good fake wearer currently), and I'm OK on classic jewellery generally inc Georg Jensen.
What sort of handbag says 'I like quality over names, but yet is recognisable as quality to someone who knows about things'
As of yet, nothing on the horizon for full length dresses, though I would def hire one. Super formal somehow feels easier than hitting the right note for a dinner at a very nice restaurant where you want to get the 'not too much effort, but looking effortlessly stylish' balance. Sigh. I'm not good at this

I don’t think you can go wrong with Russell and Bromley for handbags. They aren’t shouty and are made of really good leather, plus they come in interesting colours as well as basics.

As a tall size 12 you will have plenty of choice. Do funds run to Roland Mouret? You want to look sleek and confident. Also, get a couple of really good coats.

It sounds like you need a session with a stylist. Someone to come to your house, put together some outfits from your existing clothes, plus tell you what accessories/bags/other pieces to buy to complete the look.

I don't think anyone achieves that "effortlessly cool and elegant" look all by themselves. I worked on a fashion magazine - stylists know their shit.

I'd be having a look at The Outnet and Lyst

Never buy a handbag from Russell & Bromley. That is a safe rule in life.

non shouty handbags - bottega Veneta, fendi, Tods, loewe, Prada- but choose ones with limited hardware and no massive brand names/logos.

This could be interesting, OP. DM had a similar upgrading dilemma when I was a teen, although she was a SAHM, and I remember observing the women in her new ‘DW’ social circle avidly. There are differences.

Genuine fabrics - high quality cottons, wool and cashmere, linen and real silk. I also like Cefinn but TBH I don’t think the synthetic fabrics Sam Cam bangs on about are quite DW.

What are your feelings about jewellery? The diamond studs are an excellent start. This is a group that won’t necessarily be ostentatious but where you can feel at home wearing anything real that you love. DM upgraded her engagement ring. The new one is awfully nice but not glitzy. She is also into gemstone studs.

One of her younger (now 60-ish) DW friends has a slightly edgy modern vibe and wears bespoke metal jewellery with very clean lines even with long dresses, looking fabulous. Hates stones.

Be true to yourself, but elevate. I agree with @DoingJustFine that a couple of sessions with a stylist and/ or a help from someone at a favourite boutique can go a long way. So does hair in great condition.

Have a look at The Fold, and I also really like Whistles and Jigsaw

if you go to a big John lewis they have a great personal shopping service and many more decent brands than they used to. I was very impressed

Surely a classic LBD will take you to any restaurant in the UK. You just have to find the style that works for you, and agree a personal shopper at a big department store is the best way to do this. Then beautiful accessories - shoes, bag etc. A,ways underdress than overdress.

Im a huge dress fan, I own over 80 dresses. They’re just idiot proof with the right accessories.

For a bag that isn't obviously a designer make or price point (though I like lots of the Loewe, BV and Prada type mentioned, I just wouldn't spend so much) you might like to look at http:www.NalediCopenhagen One style in particular (Alex) is ultra plain and is very similar to a style designed during the Phoebe Philo phase of Celine. They do it every year, in several sizes and multiple classic and fashion colours. It's worth looking for a UK stockist though because otherwise you will get charged import taxes which make it expensive.

I have liked Lupo and Strathberry bags too, but not bought them. I also have two pre-loved Lambertson Truex bags bought online from the USA. The company no longer exists but they made exquisitely finished classics.

Thanks again for the thoughts. I particularly like the Naledi bags and that suits my preference to not have the obvious brands.
@poetryandwine your comment about a favourite boutique possibly encapsulates my problem - I don't think I have ever even been in a boutique, and I thought I had made it when 4 years ago I could think of shopping in John Lewis.
I will book a JL personal shopper (I did that for a big launch in 2018 and it was great) for after our holiday. I'm pretty sure there aren't stylists in my area but will look

Oh the sneering at anyone who likes handbags costing less than £1,500!

Good luck, OP.

Definitely book a John Lewis personal stylist visit.

Use it to work out what suits you and is appropriate for the types of events you need clothes for. Take photos if possible - including of items that do not look good on you so you can use them as a reference when shopping elsewhere.

Stylist to your home to look at your existing wardrobe is also a good idea. There is a poster who is a stylist who has done a couple of threads in AMA. You could PM her and see if she lives close to you or could do a zoom session if not.

Not at all. They are just style-free. And expensive for something that is never nice. If you want a lower cost stylish handbag look at APC - I have quite a few.

I personally would start with nails and make sure they are well manicured and eye brows are tidy and trimmed. Also don’t forget to remove any excess dark hair from top lip and chin if you have any and get a wash and blow or cut and blow if it’s needed.

Then check out Zara as they have some amazing clothes in at the moment and shoes but as for bags I personally like a bit of Ted Baker but it just depends as it can be hit or miss.

I haven't read this whole thread but what I have read is hilarious and obviously fake!

I know a lovely stylist, but she lives in Scotland. I imagine you’re in London.

Get in touch with Annie Castano.

Agree with a PP to elevate your usual style rather than trying to be someone else.

For dinners - maybe a black or print midi dress with heels for more formal venues? How about some 7/8 slim fitting trousers and a silk blouse tucked in? Would you wear something like Diane Von Furstenberg dresses? LK Bennett might also be worth a look (their Insta page is good for 'real life' inspiration.) Hobbs is also good for dresses.

For bags I would look for lesser known designers. I keep looking at these as I like the sound of the company but can't quite bring myself to make the decision without seeing them in real life. advenedesign.com.

I might not put this very well but I would avoid anything obviously designer/flashy - particularly if there is any suggestion from others that Director DH might have bought it for you as a 'little treat' rather than you buying it yourself!

I’ve been in a similar position to your DH I think. Developed my own business that I later sold, so lots of meetings with both clients and ultimately investors and purchasers over the years. I’m now c-suite in a well known MNC.

I tend to favour a business look with clients, even for evening meetings.

Claudie Pierlot have some gorgeous tailored suits in bold colours that work well in evenings and I love Victoria Beckham tailoring. Equally M&S is giving some of the designers a run for their money at the moment with good quality tailored trousers in a range of colours, if you’re looking for a lower price point.

Maje are good for jackets and blouses, although I buy silk tops in bulk from Massimo Dutti. I could easily wear only Max Mara especially in the winter.

If you’re really pushing the boat out then Gucci has some gorgeous silk dresses.

Celine is the ultimate non shouty but sophisticated and stylish handbag IMO.

If you’re worried see a stylist. Many women I have worked with have used them to great effect.

Don’t worry about them turning you into a fashion parody, they’ll work with your likes and comfort levels and you’ll end up a slightly more polished version of yourself.

The best results seem to be from those who have session with you at home going through (and culling) your existing wardrobe.

Mango!

It sounds like you already have high end clothes and as a tall size 12 I imagine most things fit reasonably well.

Fwiw I can't imagine ever looking at someone's jewellery and spotting that it was either fake or real. Or making a mental note of what brand of handbag someone owned.

Dinner in a nice restaurant -
leather pencil skirt, silky blouses, maybe flat slingbacks if you don't want/like heels?
midi dresses and low key, stylish trainers (Paul Smith usually has nice ones)
A lot of Whistles stuff is horrible now, but they still have the occasional nice thing.
Maybe look for a couple of vintage handbags? Prada, Gucci ones always seem to look nice imo.