I need to look more, well, directors wife. Help me.

[CMOTDibbler]

I have absolutely zero context for this. I have a very good career of my own, and thanks to MN wear Reiss, The Fold, Winser when I need to look smart in that.
But, DH now co owns a successful SME and suddenly there will be a need for me to accompany him to dinner with his contacts (before he would get taken out by people to private members clubs, Michelin star places, but again a step up now), dinner parties and corporate stuff.
I have no chuffing idea of appropriate outfits and accessories (jewellery, handbag)that work for this. I have previously worn a Shibumi longline jacket and Alice Temperly plether trousers for posher dinners but it doesn't feel quite right. Maybe it is though.
I'm tall, size 12, 32FF but otherwise very straight up and down from the front, curvy bum.
Where do I look? What marks you out as looking well put together, not flashy, but still me?
Thanks for any advice, I don't know anyone IRL to ask

I think this would be nice with smart trainers, or dressy flats for dinner in most places.

£££ but could work well on somebody tall

Lovely LBD for dressier

More colourful

@MrsDrudge I don’t understand the reference. I mean I know who ML is but what has she got to do with this thread?!

@LightDrizzle of course we’re over thinking it - this is S&B. We love to overthink clothes it’s our raison d'etre

OP got it - I think Marella (and any other Max Mara lines) and Claudie Pierlot are good starting points for you then.

Whilst I agree the focus needs to be primarily on DH and his business, don’t feel you need to tone down you. DH is also a director and company owner and I’ve been told that my apparent competence enhances perception of him (although I deliberately have nothing to do with his company).

As a PP said it depends on the field and your own taste. Sticking to black is a very 1990s-no-confidence-in-your-own-style look. imo a lot of high street personal shoppers are also dated and tired.

Look in magazines, insta, online - find a style that appeals to you. Have fun!

I'm not prescribing for you. I'm just sharing something of what I do - a few decent bags (from smaller new designers to Mulberry etc). Dresses from The Vampire's Wife, Westwood, local boutiques; day dresses Hobbes, M&S and other high street; coats include from Finery London and TK Maxx (although Finery is past its peak now) separates and lounge wear from Wyse. A tux. Jewellery - vintage cocktail rings and necklaces; a tennis bracelet; a good watch.

Sticking to black is a very 1990s-no-confidence-in-your-own-style look
Totally disagree.

Vampire's Wife would be overdressed for most restaurants these days, wouldn't it? Unless OP really wants to stand out?

Westwood a good idea - one of her plain dresses would take you just about anywhere.

I go to similar events often and an item I have found to be a total lifesaver is a tux style jacket. I have a black velvet zara one and a white massimo dutti one - that plus silky camisole, cigarette trousers and heels always looks smart, I think, or as another poster suggested a silk/satin blouse. Equivalent of 'jeans and a nice top', so easy to wear again and again, especially when you feel a bit bleurgh. I also have a couple of more arty sort of 'theatre coats' that are a bit more dramatic and would love more if I had the budget. Plus red lippy! Bit of Mac in Ruby Woo can make anything suddenly feel more eveningy. Sure you'll look epic whatever, sounds like you already have lots of lovely things!

Concur with much of this (particularly the all black part - navy is far more chic), and also with other posters who have mentioned Max Mara, Marcella, Sport Max, Claudie Pierlot, Sandro, Maje etc. A trip to Selfridges, either London or Birmingham would be a good investment of your time as you could spend several hours and get pretty much everything you need in one hit.

If you’re looking for a stylist, Lizzie Edwards would be great for this.

@RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie I have a few Vampire Wife’s dresses that I do wear out for dinner quite a bit - some of them are quite understated and a great blank canvas for accessories.

Urgh, Vampire’s Wife dresses 🙄

There are understated day dresses from The Vampire's Wife. Again, it all depends on OP's personal style. But they wouldn't necessarily be overdressed for restaurants or private members clubs. Quite a few of their diffusion lines are sustainable too. If that's important to the OP.
For wearability, you can't beat Westwood - so comfortable, lots of classic pieces and they last forever.

@declutteringmymind what counts as a fuck off diamond ring?

I love jewellery and watches but suspect both are out of my league!

OP - it sounds like you dress really well already. Aside from a stylist, I think the key is confidence that you are ‘getting it right’, whatever you might be wearing. Easier said than done!

Ahh maybe I've only seen the party ones in celeb pics - never looked at their actual website.

I don't think navy is 'more chic' than black - they can both look good, and both look bad. It's silly to dismiss black wholesale.

And having never been to a private members' club, perhaps I'm too downmarket to comment on this thread?

A few beautiful colourful silk dresses.
A Cartier watch
Quality shoes.
**
Job done!

@Teethdilema

I have a portrait cut diamond, and old heirloom that I've had reset. I am fortunate to have some Indian style diamonds in the family. Asscger or cushion have a nice vintage feel. Just nothing blingy.

@declutteringmymind so lovely! Asscher cut diamonds are my absolute favourite!

Actually (and in memoriam - RIP) I would also say get some issue miyaje. Pleats please is fine. Jewel colours, interesting shapes, stylish, undateable and fabulous for travel. I use it a lot for post work events because I wear black suiting at work (lawyer) but can stuff a coloured dress and a structured cardigan/jacket/coat in the bottom of my laptop bag and fish them out perfect to bung on later for a smart dinner.

my work wardrobe is 90% max Mara 10% Theory near enough

Issey Miyake

autocorrect really doesn’t like his name!

Also for evenings don't get a handbaggy handbag. A slimline clutch that literally just holds a phone and lipstick will always look chicer and more considered. Anya Hindmarch often has some good ones. You can wear a white shirt (look at With Nothing Underneath) and trousers, but if you're carrying a clutch rather than a handbag you'll look dressed up. I also find The Outnet an excellent source.

Oh and a good coat. The ideal is one really good daytimey one - maybe a Maxmara camel - and one more eveningy in brocade or velvet - Burberry often has the classic trench (so tailored) in more elegant fabrics.

I think you are panicking over nothing. I am a Director’s wife - weird description I wear what I like - we go to private members clubs - would rather not but whatever. I find this whole thread ridiculous. Meeting up with a magic circle partner and his wife, I ordered a pint of beer - much to her relief…she was dreading meeting some one fake - was convinced I’d be ordering champagne - we are great friends now. There are people I will never get on with - that’s ok, I’ll be polite and move on. My advice is be yourself - if you are obsessing over clothes and image…it’ll show.

Maxmara camel coat = rich old lady ready to die. So boring. Get a bright pink one, OP - and a black one!

I do have some lovely coats and long jackets in bright colours - by the wonders of Ebay I have some nice Reiss, Favourbrook and Shibumi ones. Never fear, as a pale 50 year old I'm not going near camel!
This thread has given me some great ideas as to what I am looking at. Thanks to everyone who has been so helpful , DH and I come from a background very, very far from this and don't have friends (well, DHs business partner is, but his DW is firmly in the lifelong part of this world and is very different to me) who do this sort of thing, so I'm not confident in my choices. Does it matter? Maybe not, but if I have the armour of knowing I'm not looking totally wrong, it will make me feel like I am starting off on the right foot.

Perhaps take a look at some of the artcles about Sienna Miller's wadrobe in Anatomy of a Scandal.

It's a bit cream and caramel for my colouring which looks better in cool tones, but I like the styling.