I need to look more, well, directors wife. Help me.

[CMOTDibbler]

I have absolutely zero context for this. I have a very good career of my own, and thanks to MN wear Reiss, The Fold, Winser when I need to look smart in that.
But, DH now co owns a successful SME and suddenly there will be a need for me to accompany him to dinner with his contacts (before he would get taken out by people to private members clubs, Michelin star places, but again a step up now), dinner parties and corporate stuff.
I have no chuffing idea of appropriate outfits and accessories (jewellery, handbag)that work for this. I have previously worn a Shibumi longline jacket and Alice Temperly plether trousers for posher dinners but it doesn't feel quite right. Maybe it is though.
I'm tall, size 12, 32FF but otherwise very straight up and down from the front, curvy bum.
Where do I look? What marks you out as looking well put together, not flashy, but still me?
Thanks for any advice, I don't know anyone IRL to ask

Yes to the stylist but get on Instagram too and watch some stuff. You might hate my following suggestions but it's about learning how to put things together, what you do n don't like and discovering new brands.

Tinny woodall
Jade holland Cooper
In the frow

Agree, a stylist to come to you to sort out your wardrobe would be a good shout. They can show you how to put together outfits from what you have, and also work out any gaps before you go shopping. I'm planning to treat myself to this as I've just got promoted.

Looking 'put together' is more important than how expensive the clothes are, imho.

I'm a fellow director's wife and a very similar shape to you, I think? Have a look at Lisou London - I love that much of it is real silk.

It's a nightmare, and I hated the corporate circuit. I just bought a few high end evening dresses and rewore them.

A Reiss jumpsuit or similar will always be a classic, a version of the YSL tux, look at Max Mara too. Beautiful and classic pieces that you can wear years later.

I also found having a fuck off diamond ring or a Patek phillipe or similar means you don't need to buy anything else designer label.

If it was anything like it was 5 years ago you'll be gone after the after dinner speeches.

Also make sure DH has at least 2 or 3 formal suits.

Go to John Lewis. They'll do free 2hr stylist appointment. They style all sorts of people, celebrities, rich, corporate etc

Try Stitch Fix. It's an online stylist service. You give them lots of info about your build, preferences, budget and what occasions you want to dress for and they send you 5 items. It can be a bit hit and miss but they got me out of a style rut earlier this year

Thanks again everyone, all the suggestions are great and help me find what sort of thing I am looking at for the right image. @PegasusReturns I would wear bright suiting for an evening event in my own job - loving some of the Claudie Pierlot btw - but want something softer in this. The Celine bags are great.
@declutteringmymind DH is great in the suits department, he needed to work a bit on his client facing casual wardrobe but seems to have found the right point now.
We aren't in London or the SE, so need more of a plan as to where to look. Our most local JL stores are fairly small, and though I will do a personal shopper appointment I need to know where I am going with it. The one I did before was great and I got an outfit that worked and I wouldn't have chosen, I was shown a lot of things that would have been inappropriate for the occasion (but looked great on). I also saw that The Fold now offer a stylist service, so will do that too.

I’m trying to understand what you mean by softer?

Do you like any of these? Or are you look for something more dressy? More fashion forward?

My thoughts also depend somewhat on industry. I‘m a corporate NED and a charity trustee as well as my day job which brings a bit of variation and I find my wardrobe is often audience specific.

Fortunately I mostly move in legal/tech circles so there is no requirement to be particularly stylish just smart and to an extent expensive.

If your DH is a director of somewhere more exciting then my advice is not going to cut it

Are you Margot Leadbetter?

You might find this (admittedly old and pre-pandemic) list from Vogue useful for non-London boutiques
www.vogue.co.uk/gallery/best-boutiques-outside-of-london-uk/
One of these is in my town and it’s pretty strong for put-together-yet-casual.

I definitely agree on the understated but polished jewellery, and MaxMara is a winner all round. Would add Jaeger (especially older / vintage available secondhand), Joseph, also some LK Bennett, Hobbs, Jigsaw (but these can come across a little too corporate) and M&S Autograph.

Another option is to get onto Vinted and look for some of the brands and items mentioned here at secondhand prices. That way, you can trial and error different looks and take a few risks at minimal cost. Anything you don’t like can just get relisted and sold on.

finally, I know it’s divisive but Goop have very good articles with styling tips and visuals for all occasions, and their brands / audience are roughly where you’re aiming sadly without the California sunshine. Worth a look regardless of your feelings about GP!

Bags. Personally i love celine. Chanel also very sophisticated if you have the budget.

@PegasusReturns those are all good picks. I particularly like the red dress. By softer I mean that in my professional world (male dominated med high tech) I am drawing a clear line in the sand of my technical expertise, and so modestish sharp suiting is part of that appearance - though as you say, audience specific and for me, international considerations as well. So although DHs sphere is the same as yours (no need to be fashionable/ cutting edge) I need to tone down my 'I'm in charge here' vibe (and keep the conversation well away from my work).
@ShangPie thank you for that list, very useful. I am an avid ebay buyer as it lets me vary my work wardrobe a lot. Its amazing the worn once high value clothing that comes on

How utterly depressing that in 2022 women are still seen as being a prop for their husbands, and expected to be on display for them, prettified, dumbed down and conforming.

Any of you got a spare CEO who wants a wife? Sounds like a nice life lmao.

@OliveHenry in no way does my DH want me to be dumbed down and prettified, and on the odd occasion he has accompanied me on a business trip he has played the role of my spouse and ensured the focus is on my role and not on him. But here I am not there to have a focus on me, it is on the clients and as I have a tendency to talk about work/ my studies when nervous (I hate small talk) and I'm told people find it a bit intimidating due to the field I'm in, this needs to be different.

Mrs Drudge, I suspect if you are referencing the fabulous Margot, you like me are long past this target thread!😆😆 Pearls anyone ...?

I would say no one inviting your DH out will be remotely interested in his DW - apart from maybe flattering her to keep in with DH. Business is pretty cut throat nowadays imv. The main thing is for you to feel comfortable. For that I'd use a dresser- either in a store or privately. Either you have flair or you don't- my SIL has flair and always looks stylish, I don't and somehow things don't hang right or I'm over dressed.

My MiL was a director's wife, her wardrobe is full of gorgeous tops but not a lot of anything else. She always seemed to wear black trousers so her outfit must have been stunning top and jewellery with black trousers. I can count on one hand the number of times I have seen her in a dress

OP,

Your ideas for starting sound good. As you love bright colours, I wonder whether you are confident about the ones that best suit you?

If you are that is a great start and if not, in addition to the JL personal shopper it might be worth considering a colour analysis. Various systems have been recommended on previous threads and are available nationwide.

I also hope that Vogue directory of boutiques will help you. (Sadly I cannot credit the PP from p1 without losing this post.) I am in a reasonably nice but not super posh village also not near London or in the SE and the best dressed woman I know does her shopping exclusively at local boutiques. My untrained eye had not even noticed them! She is quite friendly with several staff and owners, they put in special orders for her, and a couple of them essentially style her. She has a generous clothing budget but it is probably in line with yours given what’s been under discussion. Best of all, this isn’t terribly time consuming because with the relationships established she will text around when she wants something specific, and staff will text her when they have something particularly appropriate.

I’ve not put in the time or effort and may not have the budget to cultivate these relationships but it seems an exceedingly pleasant way to shop for those who do.

I'm a vintage jewellery fan, ditto handbags. Carrie Johnson rents clothes. The vampire clothing range seems popular at the moment and you can rent that

www.mywardrobehq.com/new-in?gclid=Cj0KCQjw3eeXBhD7ARIsAHjssr8MevT03apPZnOX94qyRTdASYAsEO_3ijcIZ_nprNdgv1hRlv_qEc0aAkPwEALw_wcB

This will give you some ideas hopefully

If you can afford it, I'd have a weekend in London and go on a shopping spree. What about an appointment at Browns Fashion? I just think a local JL is going to be a bit dull in what they can offer - after all, it will just be what is in store so you'll just be in Reiss and Hush which might be a bit high streety for what you want.
On the other hand, if you've already got clothes from places like The Fold, you could just wear those.
Btw, I'm a short, frumpy 40 something who has neither the funds nor the occasion to wear these sorts of things but I am very happy to do fantasy shopping for others! Especially as you are tall and therefore have much more chance of clothes actually fitting you.

www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-11110759/Kate-Wills-reveals-secret-getting-five-star-fashion-shoestring.html
More ideas

Honestly, I’ve been a Managing Director, albeit in an unglamorous industry and I’m now a Director and wife of MD of a very successful business in the finance sector and I really think you are over thinking this.

move gone to plenty of awards dinners in spouse category and dinners with high level product providers and you would be fine in H&M, Zara, Mango, French Connection, Reiss and the like. If expensive brands are your thing then enjoy the excuse, but if they are not, really don’t feel the need to upgrade brands.

I’ve never had any sense that I’m anything but good company at these events and I really haven’t had a hint of being judged sartorially. I don’t dress like Sue Pollard, admittedly.

I'm not being sneery about these suggestions, I’m sure they are great but if you don’t normally prioritise this amount of budget for clothes it isn’t a problem.