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Help, Body dysmorphia.

22 replies

MyneighbourisTotoro · 29/07/2022 09:54

I really struggle with my body image/body dysmorphia but one of my favourite things is fashion, I don’t feel pretty enough or like I have a nice enough figure to where the clothes or make up that I want to. I always feel like I look like a big of a clown 😞

Would you wear this skirt if you have a similar figure to me? I feel like my proportions are too big?
iI really hate my bum, it’s very round and shaped like a C and my thighs are quite big and wobbly! I also have a little mum pouch from having my babies but I really love this style of skirt.
I’m trying to tone up by doing regular exercise to see if it helps shape/firm up my body.

I really don’t know where else to ask this as I don’t feel confident asking my friends/family because they always laugh at me and think I’m being silly, they don’t realise how hard it is to live with body dysmorphia and just say it’s all in my head but it’s more than that and therapy hasn’t been a massive help.

Help, Body dysmorphia.
Help, Body dysmorphia.
Help, Body dysmorphia.
OP posts:
skilpadde · 29/07/2022 09:59

As you know you have body dysmorphia, you will also be aware that nobody else sees the flaws you see.

Wear whatever you fancy wearing.

legalseagull · 29/07/2022 10:05

Is this you in the picture? If so, you have a great arse! Very pert. Yes you suit the style. Go for it

Sunfriedegg · 29/07/2022 10:07

Wear no VPL knickers and you’re good to go in that skirt. Looking 👍🏻 good.

SundayTeatime · 29/07/2022 10:08

Wear what you like, but if you’re asking -you are - I wouldn’t wear that. I wouldn’t wear it no matter how pert of buttock or slim of thigh. That’s because I don’t think it’s nice. But you do -that’s what matters.

If it helps, I have only one breast -mastectomy - but I still wear what I think is nice and I don’t try to hide the fact that I’m completely flat on one side. I know my body doesn’t fit the societal norms, but I like clothes and I’m interested in fabrics, and that has priority to me.

MyneighbourisTotoro · 29/07/2022 10:11

It is me in the picture yes, sorry I should have said that!

OP posts:
abadgutfeeling · 29/07/2022 10:13

Wear it if you like it.

I don't much like it. I think if it were me I'd get some big cycling short type pants to smooth out the lines and reduce my chub rub. I think with a looser top it'd be nicer

abadgutfeeling · 29/07/2022 10:14

Ps your bum and tummy look perfectly normal and quite slim

CharlieAndTooManyCharacters · 29/07/2022 10:19

Just wear different pants under it. Either higher cut around the legs or short style ones will remove the line you can see. Doesn’t need to be shapewear or anything uncomfortable.

You aren’t lumpy or strangely shaped in the least. But sometimes underwear can produce a lump or distort your shape in undesirable ways.

MyneighbourisTotoro · 29/07/2022 11:04

Thank you for all kind comments and advice everyone, I felt really sick posting the pictures as it made me so nervous. I love never heard of VPL so I’m going to invest in some new underwear as I really hate seam lines! I do have some cycle shorts so I’ll wear those for now to lessen any lines if I’m ever brave enough to wear the skirt out, it’s so silly as I know a lot of people wouldn’t even think twice about it but it’s really consuming for me

OP posts:
ChezVous77 · 29/07/2022 11:52

You have beautiful legs and skin and your bum looks amazing however the skirt is not a nice colour or cut. It could be ok if you wear maybe white on your top and a loose top like PP said but I think a short A line skirt would look better than a tube shape....
If you like the skirt try it with different underwear as it could be simply the shadows from lighting and underwear cutting in you. Your body looks gorgeous it's just that even on models some clothes don't suit the shape or look the best colour for their tone.
Please please get support for body dysmorphia I was there once as were my sisters and it can be very limiting (avoiding places, events, photos etc).

ChezVous77 · 29/07/2022 11:52

when I say tube shape I meant the skirt looks like tube but I guess it's more of a pencil skirt

BeenthereGotTee · 29/07/2022 11:58

You look great but I think this kind of skirt should be worn with thick black tights and a nice sloppy sweater in autumn or winter.

Ray92 · 30/07/2022 18:37

Your figure is lovely.

legalseagull · 30/07/2022 19:27

I actually love the skirt. I love animal print!

TheLassWiADelicateAir · 30/07/2022 20:19

SundayTeatime · 29/07/2022 10:08

Wear what you like, but if you’re asking -you are - I wouldn’t wear that. I wouldn’t wear it no matter how pert of buttock or slim of thigh. That’s because I don’t think it’s nice. But you do -that’s what matters.

If it helps, I have only one breast -mastectomy - but I still wear what I think is nice and I don’t try to hide the fact that I’m completely flat on one side. I know my body doesn’t fit the societal norms, but I like clothes and I’m interested in fabrics, and that has priority to me.

Same here, even when I was a size 6 I would never have worn anything that short or that clingy.

If that is OP in the photo she looks as good as anyone does in that type of skirt.

TheFormidableMrsC · 30/07/2022 21:01

Please wear it, you have a lovely figure 🥰

OperaStation · 30/07/2022 21:05

You have really great, toned legs OP.

mizu · 30/07/2022 21:14

Lucky you, having legs like that !

serenedream · 30/07/2022 21:34

A personal opinion, so take it as you will: Your bum and thighs are lovely. I am not trying to soothe you, rather telling you what I see, if that makes sense? To have posted, you are open to answers, and this must have taken a certain amount of courage.

You look feminine, not a word that seems to be trending right now, but it's still a thing, a human response, a cultural by product. And by feminine, I mean attractive, toned, shaped, healthy, slim.

I was there once, too. What I came to feel is that life is way, waaay too short to not allow oneself to dress in a way that pleases and inspires you. Far too fucking short! We can make allowances for mental health issues, confidence levels and so on, but that still won't make life any longer. There's this one shot, and we won't receive a trophy on our death beds for being too careful, self deprecating or self loathing. I say this to empower you, not to flatter you or dismiss your personal pain.

Hearing 'people would kill for those legs' won't alter the shape of our self loathing, even if for a few seconds we soak it up with pleasure. But people surely would kill for your legs, and bum, and you look exquisite in that skirt.

We are all so very different, in age, physique, diet, lifestyle, proportions. We are nose led by a media image of what might be desirable, but this changes like quicksand, it isn't worth the agony for 5 minutes of personal satisfaction. We need to breed this regardless, as the framework for our lives.
I recently took up yoga, it has altered the way in which I view my own body - a body that will age (I am late 40's) and sag and be open to illness to some extent.
But nothing is a given. I am not opposed to a touch of woo either: a lot of what we firmly believe tends to get borne out in our experience.

Perspective does help with dysmorphic feelings. Imagine holding yourself back, not wearing the kind of make-up you'd love, that would be an essential expression of who you are.........and then the world ends. Or we suffer loss. Or we encounter disease or disability. It does help to reign our thoughts in this way.

However, if you will forgive the waffle, you do look quite lovely. Own it and grow into yourself. And enjoy your body as best you can Flowers

serenedream · 30/07/2022 21:36

Also, you have very beautiful skin!

LadyDP · 30/07/2022 21:43

Try a pair of Spanx under the skirt then go for it

LadyVictoriaSponge · 30/07/2022 21:52

You have a very nice figure but I personally wouldn’t like that skirt on anyone as it’s not very current and looks a bit dated in my eyes, I agree with a previous poster it would look better with thick tights and boots and a nice chunky sweater.

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