Is this how massages are done?

[momneedscoffee]

So, I booked a full body massage with a lady who advertised her new business venture on Facebook.
She was just starting out and offering a full body massage for less than half the price of the going rate plus she came to me.
She got me on her bed and opened a tub of fruity body butter.
I honestly felt like she was just rubbing body lotion into my skin in circular motion. and she talked all the way through it.
I couldn't relax at all and felt like this entirely defeated the purpose.
After she asked if I could leave a review and I agreed.
AIBU to not leave a review stating how great she was when I feel like my 7 year old could have done a better job?

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If the masseuse is offering a special deal, it should at least be a massage, rather than what OP got.

Fruity body butter takes me straight back to the 90s 😂

She obviously thought it was an easy way to make a few bob and use her leftover odds n sods of body butter from unwanted Christmas gifts 😂

Another good reason to avoid Facebook - It's chock full of chancers!

I'm shamelessly following this so the OP can confirm that it was indeed a divan bed. I'm also sorry but I've laughed out loud at this nonsense. Please get a massage from a reputable place, OP.

Doesn't sounds very good at all, is she qualified?
I certainly wouldn't leave a positive review for any business unless I was happy with the sevice. If you do leave one be honest, you can say the positive too of course e.g. came to me very cheap, then it's what you don't say.