Help! I look like Julia Hartley Brewer

[FlorisFigure]

Caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror just now and got the shock of my life.

I need a style overhaul from hair to makeup.

Am late 40s. Don’t want a blonde bob and my eyelids are too droopy/puffy to get the Adele winged eye look.

Style intervention PLEASE.

Her look is very safe and conformist. Lots of block colours. I’d say the opposite of these things would be a good start.

Op hasn’t been apologetic.

and I think you’ve (deliberately?) mistaken what people have said. Jhb’s views are not really relevant, people here are not idiots, they’re just complaining about a woman using another real life woman as an example of looking awful. Which is pretty rude and unnecessary.

The irony of writing a post dripping in "hate" to decry somebody else for being "hateful" 🙄

But you are middle aged, Op, so how can you not look it?

JHB looks like a late 90s breakfast TV presenter.

The OP doesn't want to look like that.

I fail to see why that warrants so much huffing.

What a load of disingenuous rubbish. If the OP had said “OMG I look like Katie Price, help me not to!” not one person would have pulled her up on using another woman as an example of looking awful. It’s only because she used a middle aged, middle class woman.

It's great that you know what you don't like, and that's JHB! But I think the question is; which celebrity style/look do you love?

Do you want something more edgy like Róisín Murphy? Bohemian like Lisa Bonet? Classic like Cate Blanchett? Goth like Susie Bick? French chic like Caroline de Maigret or Emmanuelle Alt?

Whose style do you like best in And Just Like That? Or Motherland? Or Emily in Paris? These are random examples but it's a good way of deciding what you do and don't like.

JHB wears a lot of bright coloured jackets over fitted black dresses/pencil skirts - you can move away from this by incorporating more casual pieces into your wardrobe.

Also, have you been going to the same hairdresser for a long time? I think they can get stuck in a rut - try growing your hair and then going to a new hairdresser. Centre parted, mid-length hair is very in right now if it suits you and is a step away from the JHB bob with a side parting.

I wasn’t being disingenuous at all. I think women get enough stick about what they look like on the media without other women adding to it. And that goes for any women, whether I like their style or not.

I agree with 90s breakfast TV look. It is dated and not at all how I’d like to look or dress either.

I think the opposite of the JHB look is dewy skin and lighter make up. Long or short hair but not blowdried or heavily styled.

Wardrobe is Toast, Cos, Seasalt, Wyse, Sezanne, Ganni, Mango, Margaret Howell.shoes from Churches or Grenson.
I like Wearsmemoney or Alexis Fordham on Instagram. Women with different styles but, look totally their glorious 40s/50s selves and look stylish.

(Oh and not the purpose of the thread, I know, but for the record JHBs politics make me want to vomit).

Thanks @FridayiminlovewithRobertSmith and @Inthemane

My problem is my hair. I think that I have to keep it shoulder length, in one layer and to use straighteners to stop it flying away and getting frizzy. I tried roughling it up yesterday to go into town and when I came back I looked like a scarecrow. A pixie crop is no good as my hair literally sticks up vertically. I’ve tried a centre parting but my hair instantly flops back to a side parting.

I know my make up is dated. II shape my eyebrows, put eyeliner and mascara on top lids only, and I used to have eyelashes extensions which made a huge positive difference but I can’t afford to keep doing that anymore.

But I still feel stuck in a time warp. I wear whistles, Good American jeans, white company and vejas/Supergas but I still have managed to keep buying the same style clothes for over 20 years. I can’t suddenly turn on the mindset to switch from skinny jeans to Me + Em wide legged pants.

What little steps can I take? Something small and new each month so that I gradually change my mindset as well as my style?

A few things you could do hair wise:

• Ditch the side parting, it'll take time but you can train it with the right styling

• depending on how much you have, embrace your grey. It can be unbelievably flattering and contrary to popular belief can take years off rather than age

• you say that your hair is unruly, have you explored salon treatments or changing products? Maybe a Brazilian blow out help or something along those lines could help liven it up. Straightening daily is likely to have caused damage

I once got told I looked like Lorraine Kelly & she's over 10 years older than me. This was back in the early 90s when even LK admits were lean style years for her. If someone said it now I'd be nowhere near as horrified as I was then. She comes across as totally comfortable in her own skin, knows what suits her, able to poke fun at herself. I think JHB is the same. Comparison is the thief of joy. Change your hair but do it because you want to not to avoid looking like someone else. Talk to your stylist, you might just need the smallest of tweaks. Same with make up, talk to the people on the counters, tell them you want help to update your look but again I bet it won't take much.

Hair treatments are good. I put some Garnier Hair Food conditioner on yesterday, left it in to dry naturally and my hair was nicely tousled. Don’t know what it will be like today!

And thin lips. I have very thin lips which are frequently in a cats bum expression but I’m too squeamish to get lip fillers (and too scared of getting a trout pout).

Well I'm imagining you're no fresh faced beauty then 🙄

Were you that oblivious to the irony as you wrote it?

Some nice vitriol you've released on another middle aged women here OP.

I wonder if your hair is actually wavy or curly? Have you tried using a light mousse or curling gel and scrunching?
I'd ditch the straighteners anyway, straightened box die hair can have a certain dead looking quality that is really unflattering.
Also - get your eyebrows threaded.
Try on everything in your wardrobe, keep the stuff that flatters you and slowly buy more that matches it. Pack everything else up and donate it after six months if you haven't worn it.

Julia is mid 50s, and I think looks good. She regularly appears on tv in these news and current affairs programmes, so maybe it's not her everyday look? You say you have thin lips - Julia doesn't, but I think a strong coloured lipstick isn't flattering on her, so take that as a cue for yourself.

JHB looks amazing for 54. What a horrible, anti-women post.

Ok, I look like a classic middle aged middle class woman and I don’t want to look middle aged even though I am. I clearly am stuck in a 90s/naughties time warp and need a fresh modern look.

You need to aim for UMC as you are ageing, this is mumsnet!
But make sure class is perpetually a large part of the convo on here, because absolutely no body talks about or cares about this off MN. You would actually look insane in real life describing your body and look as a social class.

JHB looks like a matronly sensible dresser. If that's not the vibe op wants, so what? I don't want to look like Courtney Love although she's gorgeous, or Helen Mirren.

OP, I look like Nadine Dorries but with longer hair. In some pictures she looks quite attractive but it’s impossible to get past her politics, so now I hate myself.

If you want to take baby steps then maybe try something like skincare. Using nicer products and seeing the effects is quite satisfying.

I’ve got into clothes again this year. It started as wanting to look nice for a wedding but has slowly expanded. EBay is great to try out new brands or styles - the types of brands I mentioned are available and a fraction of price (and not massively trend driven). It’s how I got into wide legs and am now totally sold on them.

someone mentioned Lorraine Kelly pejoratively up thread. I think she looks great 🤷‍♀️

I think that you have to separate the person from the looks, seriously.
We are more than our appearance. If you superficially resemble Dorries, then that is all.

Well saying someone looks amazing for 54 isn't the most pro-women sentiment either. You can just state that you think a person looks great without qualifying it.

Lol

There's nothing wrong with her appearance. Just watch that you don't start mooning over Boris Johnson.