To think the boob or bust bra evangelism goes too far!

[hihellohihello]

I can't use this method. I've scars and sensitive skin after a mastectomy and then menopause. Soft tissue which will redden and go dry if anything digs in.

I don't feel that these issues are unusual. Granted, many women have not had mastectomies but many have soft tissue, dry and sensitive skin. No matter what size they are. I have tried to build muscles up and have but still got a layer of soft skin over them on my back and underarm area. I'm not big - the opposite 5 ft 7 and size 8 with a BMI on the low side so losing weight would not be the best option for me.

So I choose bras with a 34 back size. (Measure between 30 and 31). However, this seems almost taboo now. They don't ride up and don't leave red marks. They are the most comfortable apart from comfort bras/bralettes (which I get in a medium). Tighter bras leave red marks and my skin gets dry.

So sick of hearing 'You'll get used to the underband being tighter' and 'You need to go up a cup size' . Complete with a Facebook page. I've tried it. It doesn't work. I see so many pictures even in lingerie catalogues of flesh billowing over underbands. Underarm rolls and back rolls (Although the breasts may defy gravity). These rolls aren't suggestive of a good fit. Granted my breasts are not as high as they could be versus hoisting them up with a smaller band and shorter straps. They don't look like they are about to defy gravity. But they look normal and don't sag, when wearing my bra, at least. They're not at my waist or anything - they are where they should be.

I understand it might be empowering to get some uplift / look slimmer but horses for courses. Running everyday, watching what I eat, walking and weights got me slimmer already. My bra just needs to be comfortable, hold a prosthesis and not show under my clothes.

But such is the Boob or Bust evangelism that many stores will not even publish measuring guides. Thankfully, I do know about 'sister sizes' - one thing I can thank Boob or Bust for, I suppose.

Rant over. 🥴

See for me it's a compromise
Back rolls are skin a lot of the time, and if my bra is tight enough to support me then I get skin rolls. But I need the support as a 34K and I'm also squishy around my back
It genuinely isn't uncomfortable (for ME) and I can sleep in my bras happily and forget I am wearing one
But I think if you have any form of vague flesh/skin then you can get folds/rolls. This pic explains it better than me!

I think sister sizes are the answer in many cases. I really get the measuring & see it makes way more sense… but it’s expensive trying out the new size! Most of my recommended bras have annoyed & cut into my armpit too!
Im sticking with my 34DD:/E as opposed to the 30 ff or something 🙂

YANBU
there is no way in hell I'm wearing a tight bra band. I really don't understand how people can say it's the 'right' size if it's uncomfortable. It's clearly not 'right'.

You have been through the mill, and therefore imo are perfectly entitled to grumble or rant about any bra method, as much as you like

@withlotsoflove, yes, I would agree. Thinking back I've never completely gone with the add 4 or 5 inches either. I'm more in between. Measure to start then try a bra and if it is right, great, if wrong I'll get a different cup size or band size and try that. I've always done that, all my life and I'm nearly 50. I alter bras too, if I can. Have taken in bands, lengthened them and taken the cups in from the centre point of the bra.

Agree it can go too far. My experience/sense is that it doesn't work well for slimmer women. I'm a size 8 ish and even wearing a 30 inch band can be quite uncomfortably tight on my ribs. I'm happier in a 32C whereas BoB would have me in a (semi-mythical) 26E or something. I suppose smaller women are likely to have smaller breasts too so maybe less to gain from the better support a tighter band is meant to give.
Completely see that it wouldn't work well for women with scarring either.

@FlibbertyGiblets, thank you, that is kind. It annoys me, especially, though, when even mastectomy lingerie suppliers are advising pretty tight fits. The NHS don't particularly. They talked about bra extenders after surgery! It's a fashion, really. The 'right' shape. Look at how it has changed over the years. And some people used to be comfortable in corsets however many really weren't. My mother's school arranged someone to come in and talk to them about the importance of wearing a girdle to 'train' their muscles!

I totally agree. I cannot wear a tight bra. I don't care what anyone else thinks is right. My boobs, my business! I wear a 36 band and their method would have me in a 32. Sod that.

Yes, there are a lot of mythical bra sizes out there. Especially in mastectomy ranges. M & S yesterday had one possible suitable bra in 34B for me but someone had got makeup on it. The rest were all in much bigger sizes.

That's what I don't like though. Up a back size (or 2), no back fat. No red marks. No cutting in and dry skin. Support? My running bra is a 34 (I measure 30 or 31 band) and they genuinely don't move.

See, the tight bands thing was life changing for me when I discovered it in my teens. I had a small ribcage and a large cup and the size 32 bands would ride up and then I’d be spilling out the cups at the front and the straps would dig in and I just felt deformed. Tighter band and bigger cup holds my boobs in a nice place with no spilling and moving and they actually dig in less because they stay put and usually have wider elastic and straps (in 28-30 F-G cups) than the old standard 32 DDs I was trying to manage with before.
But yeah, you should wear the bras that are comfortable for you. I don’t think the tighter bands add anything helpful for smaller lighter busts.

For me, wearing a tighter back size and bigger cups really worked. It wasn’t about pushing my boobs up, I don’t care about the shape really. But what I found is that the back doesn’t ride up anymore and the straps don’t fall off my shoulders all the time

I've found it works well for me. I wear a size 10 and a 30C or D, I measure just under 30 underbust, BMI 20. When I was underweight I could have gone to a 28C (was in a 30C that was too big both around and in the cup) but they are harder to find at a reasonable price. If it doesn't work then you just use sister sizes.

And getting the running bra right was tears of frustration! A lot of companies don't expect women to do high impact sport after having a mastectomy, apparently. All sodding yoga vests...!😫

Don't get me wrong I'm not against trying a tighter band. I've taken underbands in before myself. It's all the evangelism about it as if it's the only possible issue ever!

@Svara, that's interesting. I'm a size 8, with a BMI of 18.5 and my back is broader. So broader backs in small dress sizes are out there. Because it's another thing I hear, you cannot possibly be that size at a dress size 8.

I follow this woman on IG and think she’s gorgeous, she does so much to show how great larger boobs can look

But I totally disagreed with her post on this occasion, I think the back rolls look uncomfortable and unattractive personally, and look quite bad if you’re wearing a tight T-shirt for example

I agree with you OP, FWIW!

I’m very grateful for it because I don’t really get a bad back anymore, but of course it doesn’t work for everyone. I do tend to recommend this method to people, but don’t think I’m an evangelical!

It is a better method for the average bod, like elastic has been invented. Sorry you've had to have a mastectomy you need to find what's comfortable for you.

It’s about what works for you, and you’ve clearly got it completely sorted. But lots of women haven’t, and it is often worth trying a smaller back size and bigger cup.

FWIW, I’m another who genuinely finds a 28 back (G cup) much more comfortable than anything bigger and I’m a standard size 10, by no means tiny.

@TheMarzipanDildo, it's great it works for you. I think it is a possible solution, it's just not the only solution or the definitive correct method IMO.

@Yodaisawally, is it though? I've noticed an increasing trend for 'comfort bras / bralettes'. I wonder why🧐...?

@ShirleyPhallus I think for me I am always going to have back fat - because I have it without a bra
But if I put any form of band around my back that vaguely fits then it's more obvious?
It's hard to describe! But I'm squishy and broad
But at my boob size I really can't get away with a looser band, and a 36 rides up my back and rubs. The 34 leaves red marks like skinny jeans/socks do but doesn't rub or dig in

Good support is really important if you have very large breasts. Poor support leads to back problems. It isn't just about having sky high boobs! Yes, I wish I could achieve good support without the discomfort back bands can cause and also without the dreaded back fat. But if it's the choice between not meeting someone else's expectations of how my back should be smooth and roll free and having supported breasts and no back pain, I'll take the second one!

That said, you don't have to like or take anyone else's advice. It's your bra and your body.

The best bras I've had for lack of back fat are Molke ones. But they don't work under all my tops, so I can't wear them everyday.