To think the boob or bust bra evangelism goes too far!

[hihellohihello]

I can't use this method. I've scars and sensitive skin after a mastectomy and then menopause. Soft tissue which will redden and go dry if anything digs in.

I don't feel that these issues are unusual. Granted, many women have not had mastectomies but many have soft tissue, dry and sensitive skin. No matter what size they are. I have tried to build muscles up and have but still got a layer of soft skin over them on my back and underarm area. I'm not big - the opposite 5 ft 7 and size 8 with a BMI on the low side so losing weight would not be the best option for me.

So I choose bras with a 34 back size. (Measure between 30 and 31). However, this seems almost taboo now. They don't ride up and don't leave red marks. They are the most comfortable apart from comfort bras/bralettes (which I get in a medium). Tighter bras leave red marks and my skin gets dry.

So sick of hearing 'You'll get used to the underband being tighter' and 'You need to go up a cup size' . Complete with a Facebook page. I've tried it. It doesn't work. I see so many pictures even in lingerie catalogues of flesh billowing over underbands. Underarm rolls and back rolls (Although the breasts may defy gravity). These rolls aren't suggestive of a good fit. Granted my breasts are not as high as they could be versus hoisting them up with a smaller band and shorter straps. They don't look like they are about to defy gravity. But they look normal and don't sag, when wearing my bra, at least. They're not at my waist or anything - they are where they should be.

I understand it might be empowering to get some uplift / look slimmer but horses for courses. Running everyday, watching what I eat, walking and weights got me slimmer already. My bra just needs to be comfortable, hold a prosthesis and not show under my clothes.

But such is the Boob or Bust evangelism that many stores will not even publish measuring guides. Thankfully, I do know about 'sister sizes' - one thing I can thank Boob or Bust for, I suppose.

Rant over. 🥴

That's working on the assumption that sewing stretch = wearing stretch. That isn't true in general and I don't think it's true with bras either (I sew, but not bras). It would only be the case if the fabric the elastic was being sewn to had zero stretch which is not usually the case with bras, the back fabric is usually stretchy.

If I'm sewing with a stretch fabric then generally the fabric itself isn't stretched whilst stitching (with the exception of things like neckbands when the band is stretched but not the main garment) even though the pattern might have negative ease. I have made pants and boxers though and they've definitely had negative ease, with the elastic being stretched a little when sewing but more when worn

@StatisticallyChallenged, so are you saying those sewing instructions are wrong? Or that my size 34s are not genuine size 34s?

What would you say a size 34 under band should measure stretched and unstretched?

That wasn't what I meant, and I'm not saying the sewing instructions are wrong - I did read quite quickly but she refers to the length of what is being sewn, and then cutting the elastic 3-8% smaller than the length being sewn.

But the length being sewn will be whatever measurement the pattern in question calls for, not the expected measurement of the underbust of the wearer. There will be (most likely negative) ease in the pattern. So it might be - plucking numbers - that there's an expected 10% negative ease, so a band to be worn by a body which measures 30" will measure 27" unstretched, with the elastic then being cut at 3-8% smaller than the 27" the pattern requires.

In terms of what the actual pattern's negative ease number is, it will depend hugely on the fabric being used. I have 3 different 30j bras here, brand new, same size and brand. Laying them out there's at least a 1" difference between shortest and longest, with longest being the one made from the firmest fabric.

But the length being sewn will be whatever measurement the pattern in question calls for, not the expected measurement of the underbust of the wearer. There will be (most likely negative) ease in the pattern. So it might be - plucking numbers - that there's an expected 10% negative ease, so a band to be worn by a body which measures 30" will measure 27" unstretched, with the elastic then being cut at 3-8% smaller than the 27" the pattern requires.

Ah, I see, thank you for explaining. I'm just trying to work out what actual measurements of bands (stretched and unstretched) I find most comfortable. My new bra, that I am having to use extenders with, not only measures smaller unstretched but also doesn't stretch out as much as other bras I have. Buying bras is a faff for me as mastectomy bras are mainly sold online and there is only M&S here, that I know of, which has a limited range in store so I am pretty reliant on sizes. Otherwise I have to sew in a pocket for my prosthesis. But then, ironically, I do end up altering bras anyway because of fit, as it is only after wear (so can't send back) that I know whether it is comfortable sometimes.

Last post@StatisticallyChallenged.

@StatisticallyChallenged

I haven't seen that many posts insisting that if you measure 30 you absolutely must wear 30, no matter what. It's a starting point. But for most people it's a better starting point than +5 inches. I was wearing a 36DD myself and occasionally would try a 34DD, but of course that felt too tight and small. Starting from that size, it would never have occurred to me to even try back sizes down.

Made me chuckle!

Tbf, BoB changed my bra life irreversibly. But i have books that migrate around my torso so to have that light bulb moment that I've been wearing tiny cups that only hold half my breast.

Now, with a cup that starts further back and a decent scoop etc, my shape has entirely changed and my breasts are lifted and pointed in the right direction and I look slimmer and my clothes fit better because the "back fat" (breast) is contained.

But yes, I agree they can be evangelical and you absolutely should wear whatever makes you happy!

I find it really hard not to be evangelical! It took me from excruciating back pain to comfort in 48 hours. Yes my bra costs 3x what it used to from sainsburys but I have 4 that I rotate, whereas I used to have loads of cheap ones. My boobs look smaller to the outside world as they no longer jiggle and do quad boob. I am literally the only person who knows what size I now wear.

I think for some it is clearly lifechanging but for those that like me have not had back problems, have always scooped, just been aware that the fit isn't quite right it all seems a bit full-on.

There's a website called bratabase which you might find helpful. I'm not sure if it has mastectomy bras, but what it does have is measurements. Lots of measurements- so you can look up a particular branded bra which fits, find out what the stretched and unstretched bands, cup width, cup depth etc are and I think it has options to search for bras with similar measurements too. Might help you to identify good candidates for customisation?

Whilst it's for a different reason (big cups and small band) there is only one shop in my city now which stocks my size so I'm pretty much online only too. DH has just gone to the post office to return 4 bras out of 6 ordered, all same size. I needed a white bra for a work trip and had to order 4 in the hope of getting one. Total pest.

And I think it is important to be aware of the diversity of issues out there. I have had back problems in the past but they weren't due to my bra. After a process involving exercise, stretches, losing weight and changing the way I lie in bed and sit on the sofa they were resolved. I do have sensitive skin and a BMI on the lower end which means I tolerate tighter underbands less well. Also I have built my shoulders, laterals and back up slightly with weights (in an attempt to solve the rolls with tighter bands issue) but all this seem to have done is create a slightly wider shoulders which taper more steeply to the waist. So it is bands on the larger size for my measurements for me.

@StatisticallyChallenged, thank you that's very helpful.🙂

I'm a size 10/12, 31 under the bust and a 34 dd, I've tried the 32 but its to tight on my ribs, I'm bony under the bust with not much flesh, a 32 bra hurts.

I could have a big rant about the plus 4 "method" of measuring. It is the absolute worst to have underwires digging in under your arms and the bra back up on your should blades, but each to their own. If something doesn't work for you, why get worked up about it? I personally couldn't be arsed.

YANBU
I have ADHD and can't bear tight things.
I have tried with a 32 band and actually wanted to scratch my skin off, 34 band til I die ha.
It really doesn't work for everyone.

If something doesn't work for you, why get worked up about it? I personally couldn't be arsed.

I know I should chill and have (considerably) since I started this thread. Sitting, very happily, in my baggy old bra as we speak and not giving a fig about what other people say is 'correct' about all things bra fitting.

However, I thought it was worth pointing out because people can be made to feel bad for bucking this particular fitting trend which really is not at all the correct way for everyone. And widening people's knowledge through sharing experiences cannot be a bad thing.

Maybe it will prevent some of the scorn people express when others happily go about in their baggy bras or even actually bra less, in stretchy comfort bras. Which cannot be possibly right if they are a size 8 (diet obsessed/liar? Yes, correct bra size, but no and no to diet obsessed or liar in this case) and wear a size34! Maybe it will prevent some of the annoying advertorial emails saying:

"Women! Warning! You are probably very stupidly wearing the wrong sized bra! Shock! Horror! Come talk to our experts and buy stacks of new bras and then replace them with stacks more because the tight ones have to be the correct style to fit in with your (weird) lifestyle and preferences!"

I hold my hands up - I do get worked up about it - because the Boob or Bust evangelists (not all those that use it, but a subset of them) don't seem to be able to accept that it doesn't work for every woman and that the old +4/5 shock horror really does. (I'm a 30 maybe closer to 29 underbust, 34 bust - usually most comfortable in 34B, very occasionally find a 32B or 32C bra tolerable, always underwired).

It would be nice if there was some consistency in bra sizing but I guess it just joins general clothes sizing in slowly redefining average with some manufacturers quicker to jump on the bandwagon than others.

It the fact that you find them uncomfortable doesn't mean the process hasn't worked, just means you prefer stretch over shape.

There was a poster on here last week
Who was measured at M&S as a 38a (I think) and was completely disbelieving of her BorB measurement of 32F (also think!) and scoffed at the idea she could ever fill that cup size. Guess what.....

Sorry, posted too soon.

Meant to end on the fact that the poster did fit her BorB side but ultimately wanted a larger band due to a medical issue which made tightness uncomfy. Doesn't mean BorN didn't work, just that there are exceptions to all rules

It the fact that you find them uncomfortable doesn't mean the process hasn't worked, just means you prefer stretch over shape.

You make it sound too much like a choice! Of course I prefer pain free over some contrived idea about shape constructed by the fashion industry! Shape can be achieved by padding (for me at least) anyway. Having a mastectomy and padding out the flat side has taught me that much!

Sure but for others (like me) the pain would come from wearing a too loose back. It would put all the strain on my shoulders. That's why is said stretch over shape not comfort over shape

Every. Single. Bra. I own, I have to make a 'girth' for the shoulder straps. I find every. Single. Bra. Without exception is far too wide on the shoulders, makes no difference to band size or cup size. I have small slopping shoulders despite being the size of a pachyderm and a small bust. But if I want support and hoiked bosom then bringing the shoulder straps together is the only way. I've been doing this for years now and it works for me, I've tried to design shoulder strap clips/ bands which I can reuse but as yet I have to make a them for each new bra. I live in hope that one day someone will design a comfortable fully functional bra which doesn't require any further alterations

Depends on size but bravissimo do a couple with this shape now

@whataloadabullocks or this!

https://www.bravissimo.com/products/t-back-converter-3-pack-pf100/?gclid=EAIaIQobChMI0ejS-7bC-QIVEuvtCh3-TgOPEAQYASABEgJ4GDBwE#multi-pf100mutt*