Strange ideas about age, ageism on S&B.

[Pangolin44]

A bit of a mangled thread title, but I'm always slightly agog when it comes to age on this board.

So many 'Can I wear X at Y age?' threads. So many comments about 'age-appropriate' attire. Mutton-dressed-as-lamb always rears its head. Granny shoes, frumpy coats, 'I'm 35 am I too old for mini-skirts?'.

And don't get me started on hair! Bejeysus.

And this is women, talking to other women.

It makes me sad more than anything else, people are obviously posting on this board because they're interested in clothes and style, why close off any area of style because of age? The thought that women think they can't express themselves physically due to an imagined arbitrary cut-off.

I would love to free women from this idea, what's the worst that can happen?

I liked some of the clothes as individual items (except the blue dress) but I wouldn't rush to buy any of them. And it would be hard to be 'too old' for any of it.

After another look at the pictures, the leather skirt is okay, but the v-neck sweater and shirt just look like school uniform. Is school uniform currently in vogue?

I think some of us were talking about that article on another thread? I thought it started really promisingly - the writer was talking about her teenage daughter who, according to general S&B wisdom, can wear anything she likes but who won't because she's desperate to fit in. And I remember thinking, 'Ah this is interesting, is she going to move on to how liberating getting dressed can be when you're older?' But she bottled it and we ended up with the usual cliches about not looking like you've tried too hard. Disappointing.

I don't think "elderly" is a particularly useful descriptor though or that it's no different from "young"

"Young" is far less subjective. At 16,17,18 one acquires the legal ability to do things which are denied to people under that age. That's 100% an objective fact. Thereafter things like "young person's" bus pass or rail pass apply in the ages 18 to 21, 25 or 30. After that then really everyone is just a grown-up. I can't see that for most purposes, other than statistics for future planning by national and local government that age is terribly relevant.

There's nothing particularly daring about what's being worn in those photos. The socks are fine- it's the grey v neck jumper which isn't. It's very drab.

I don't care about style & beauty (bear with me) but I do get annoyed with the "Nobody will hire anyone over 50!" comments on some MN topics. So much negative thinking.

Wear what you like & I am definitely updating when I get a new job.

This is my final word on this thread about the word 'elderly' because I'm starting to get bored of the sound of my own voice, and because I'd much rather talk about clothes.

I want a word that describes my life stage. I'm retired, I draw a pension, have a bus pass, a senior railcard and I can get a concessionary rate at the cinema. I have friends and peers with chronic and, in some cases, terminal health conditions. I go to more funerals than weddings. Regardless of how I might feel inside, I am in the early stages of old age - which is what 'elderly' means to me. I don't see how avoiding the word, or finding another more acceptable term (senior? elder?) changes a thing.

@Floisme
We have avoided the funerals so far! Plus no one is ill. However I have just stopped dying my hair. It’s grey! I’m not happy but not sure I want to dye the roots every 4 weeks any more. It makes me feel old. Therefore clothes are useful for not feeling old!! Not quite sure how else I can describe myself at 67! Mature maybe? I even have elasticated waist trousers!!! With a side stripe though.

I read the article in the Telegraph. I’m way older then the 53 year old. I think the article was about interpreting the catwalk for “older “ mature women. Not that 53 is old! So would you wear cowboy boots at 67? I would. The skirts - yes. The socks? No. I pick and choose.

Also fashion is about trends. Not necessarily about being out there and bold. The clothes features are about dressing well. Not dressing to be noticed. That’s far more for younger people. Mostly. I recognise some people like to be noticed. I prefer to be discreet but smart! My DDs want to have people remark on their clothes. I want to be calmly confident in mine.

See I disagree TizerorFizz that dressing to be noticed is for young people. My experience of young people is that they mainly dress to fit in. I remember doing the same myself and being mortified if I 'made a mistake' and stood out for the wrong reasons. One of the glorious things I've found about being over 60 - especially now I'm retired and no longer have to conform to any workplace dress codes - is that the need to fit in is melting away.

I dress to be noticed and I am noticed.

In the days of smart office wear most of my office clothes came from Pauw in Amsterdam. They have toned down their stuff recently but it featured intricately tailored skirts and jackets ,often military style (and not necessarily 20th century military) which sometimes came with instructions. I would still wear them if they fitted but unfortunately most don't.

I wore the Laura Ashley Batsheva dress to the office -and of course it was noticed.

The (male) office facilities manager left a couple of months ago - he regularly commented on what I was wearing and before he left said he'd miss seeing my fabulous dresses. Not saying that to blow my own trumpet- it's just a fact.

You have some wonderful clothes NatashaDancing. I rarely bother with Instagram but, if you were on it, I might make an exception.

Is it really too late by 50😵‍💫?

I'm almost 48. I work outside and there's little call for me to scrub up particularly often.

I don't tend to wear makeup. I wash my face with water, and use a cheap fragrance free moisturiser. I've never had a facial.

Hair is in dire need of a trim.

But, aside from looking poorly groomed most days I don't feel it is too late! I have good clear skin, few wrinkles, thick shiny hair. All down to luck.

On the few occasions that I wear something not designed for outdoor shenanigans, don't scrape my hair back and out on some makeup I look absolutely fine and not old!

Its absolutely not too late at 50. Life long sunworshipper, junk food addict, erstwhile smoker, rarely moisturised, I completely turned it around at 50. Now a whole food vegan with a religious skin care regime, at 53 I look better than I did at 40, and though I say it myself, good for my age. Skin in particular I think reflects the care and lifestyle of the moment. I don't think (sun and smoking excepted) you build up credits for decades of good behaviour, or the horse bolts if you don't shut the door soon enough.

I’m in my 40s and could have written this post myself. My anthem is “Girl on Fire by Alicia Keys.

Oh-oh, she got both feet on the ground
And she's burnin' it down
Oh-oh, she got her head in the clouds
And she's not backin' down

Definitely not too late at 50 - unless you’ve allowed your skin to burn. When I first went to Australia, in the 90s, Aussie women in their 40s and upwards looked far older than their U.K. peers, because of sun damage.
Now that those women have been using sun protection all their lives, they look the same as here.

@Floisme Younger people use instagram. They really care about what their image is. They don’t all dress the same. My DDs pit in significant effort. It has to be said that they love clothes and it matters to them that they are not followed. DD2 is very fashion savvy regarding making trends. Not following. It depends who they mix with, where they go and their interests. I’m far less bothered. I like classic, comfortable clothes in good fabrics. I upgrade when I need to but DDs aren’t the same as me. Which is good given my age!

Not the young people I know @Floisme. They are keen to be different, and express themselves. Lots of shopping in charity and secondhand shops.

Ok that's interesting then if you don't find young people dress the same cos it's not been my experience at all. I'd say most of the young women in my life (under 25) mainly just want to look and dress like their friends.

Yes they use social media channels that weren't available to me at the same age, but they all seem to follow the same people. Yes they go to vintage shops and weigh n' pay sales but they all come back with the same kind of stuff, and they wear similar clothes, hair and make up.

They're lovely but they don't like stepping out of line.

What fabulous post! Thank you.

Anyone who is stylish is going to stand out - otherwise they aren't "stylish" they're just merging into the background with everyone else

Definitely not in France, which so many MNetters are obsessed with as a paragon of stylishness. The entire point of French style is to blend in.

@Floisme My DDs post themselves on internet! They don’t follow anyone! They don’t do charity shops but use Vestiere and similar apps. DD2 doesn’t so much but she’s far from a sheep. She’s making the fashion.

Ok, it was intended as a generalisation TizerorFizz based on observation, not a remark about individuals. But I'll withdraw it as I don't want to upset or cause an argument. Let's move on.

I don't want to upset or cause an argument.

Goals …

Not a goal for you though surely TottersBlankly - please don't ever change!

To someone with English as a second language, "frumpy" doesn't sound old, just... dowdy. Is dowdy ageist too?
I certainly think young people can be frumpy and dowdy. I never associated it with age until I came to S&B.

Exactly how I see it too. Frumpy doesn't refer to age, it's a useful word that refers to dowdiness. Plenty of frumpy young people about.

I agree. Frumpy has nothing to do with age. I leant towards the frumpy in my late teens/early twenties but I have made up for it since then. Although, I don’t actually think there is anything wrong with blending into the background if that is where you want to be.

@Floisme
Its a discussion. You and I can have differing opinions. No one has been rude. Just explaining what I think.