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Original poster

Going to a posh Indian wedding - what to wear

60 replies

WalkingToMordor · 14/03/2022 18:14

I have been invited to a fancy wedding where the bride and groom are of Indian heritage - I am not.

Both families are very well to do so it is going to be a grand affair. I have been informed (by a relative of the groom) to expect mega fancy saris and lehengas. What on earth should I wear?

The big difficulty is that I am very short (under 5ft) and can only wear petite ranges - truly, normal people clothes look ridiculous. I am in my 50s so prefer to be a bit covered up. I am a size 8 so can't wear low necklines as I am pancake chested.

I have searched and searched online but just can't find anything to fit the bill. I know I will never look as glamorous as all the guests in their beautiful, colourful silk saris etc but I would prefer not to look like someone who wandered into the party by accident.

Any ideas?

OP posts:
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7
thinkfast · 14/03/2022 18:39

What's your budget OP?

Alfr · 14/03/2022 18:56

I went to a Hindu wedding years ago, and was told that the families and their guests would be delighted if I chose to wear Indian dress. I was planning to avoid it, in case it caused offence, but in fact, it was the other way round. I wore a gorgeous emerald green embroidered lehenga and loads of completely OTT jewellery, and felt absolutely fabulous!

bonfireheart · 14/03/2022 18:59

What is your budget OP?

Mummydoctor · 14/03/2022 19:13

Agree what is your budget and where in the country are you?

Original poster
WalkingToMordor · 14/03/2022 19:18

I am in London, budget £200 or so?

I really, really don't want to wear an lehenga as I think I would look ridiculous! Can't wear a sari as I wouldn't be able to put it on!!

OP posts:
Original poster
WalkingToMordor · 14/03/2022 19:20

I mean lehengas are gorgeous but I am a pasty face and don't feel I could carry it off.

OP posts:
BobblyBlueJumper · 14/03/2022 19:23

I've been to a couple of Indian weddings and wore the poshest wedding clothes I owned and felt really underdressed.

If I was invited to one now I'd go the whole hog I reckon. A fabulous jewel toned sparkly outfit.

Original poster
WalkingToMordor · 14/03/2022 19:33

I know that one guest is spending hundreds of pounds on each of her daughters' outfits never mind what she is spending on herself!!

It's just tricky to find something super glam for a titch like me.

OP posts:
Brideandprejudice · 14/03/2022 19:33

Without doubt a ball gown, you'll feel underdressed in anything else. Try to avoid red as that's traditionally a bridal colour and make sure you're not showing too much cleavage.

ambereeree · 14/03/2022 19:34

You could wear a long very sparkly evening dress- I sometimes do this now as ordering and having a new outfit can be a hassle. £200 for a new Indian outfit isn't a lot but you can look on ebay as a lot of people sell on very nice lehengas or anarkali type dress outfits- Indian outfits generally suit slim chested women so it will look nice.
Are you going to the religous ceremony and then a reception?

LizziesTwin · 14/03/2022 19:36

Can you rent something? As you are in your 50s and don’t own anything appropriate you clearly don’t need to spend lots of money on a frock. I rented in the 80s & rented last time I went to a ball, I felt so glam.

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/03/2022 19:38

@WalkingToMordor

I mean lehengas are gorgeous but I am a pasty face and don't feel I could carry it off.
If you're in London, find a shop and find a colour that suits. They have hundreds!
SouthOfFrance · 14/03/2022 19:38

Would you feel more comfortable in a Salwar Kameeze? Eg long top with trousers underneath and scarf? You can get some really pretty beaded ones that would look dressy for a wedding.
If you Google 'wedding salwar kameeze' loads of lovely options come up.
You can either get baggy style trousers or tighter style ones.

Helllooo · 14/03/2022 19:43

Indian outfits come in a variety of colours, I'm sure you'll be able to fine one that complements your skin tone.

In London I would visit shops in Southall, Ealing Road or Green Street. You'll be able to get a really nice outfit for £200

Original poster
WalkingToMordor · 14/03/2022 19:49

Salwar kameez would not be the thing at this wedding - it's saris and lehengas, really.

If I wore a lehenga, though, I would look like even more of a poor relation, turning up in something cheap compared to the mega bucks outfits that will be on show (my friend keeps joking about how competitive everyone is with their outfits!)

A ball gown sounds like a scream, who sells them for shorties, though?

OP posts:
homeedregret · 14/03/2022 19:50

I have Indian and Pakistani friends and have been to weddings on both sides and the white guests just wore what they'd usually wear to a wedding, and they didn't look out of place. I'd never spend £200 on something I'd only wear once.

gogohm · 14/03/2022 19:56

I would head to an area with lots of Asian shops - most Asian dress shops have both sari's etc and more western dress styles but elaborate sequins etc. bright is good but avoid red as that is often the colour the bride wears (check though it varies)

gogohm · 14/03/2022 19:57

Asian clothing retailers will be used to shorter customers remember

StColumbofNavron · 14/03/2022 19:58

They’ll be people in shalwar kameez and anarkali as well as lengha and saris. My ILs are Asian and my MIL laments my lack of sari wearing (I am short and fat and they just look weird on me) but I pull off a kameez type outfit perfectly well.

If it’s that you won’t feel comfortable in Asian clothes then I would look at a Monsoon ish type dress. Something long and sparkly with amazing statement jewellery (and if you go for bangles take your dress to Bees and let them make a lovely set). In this case I would inclined to spend less on the dress and go mad with the accessories.

WellJuhnelle · 14/03/2022 19:59

The dress that @thinkfast posted is lovely and I’m sure would fit the bill. I am white and my husband is Indian and my mother in law always buys me a new lehenga - everybody seems to appreciate me making the effort.

If they are having the actual ceremony at the mandir you will also need a scarf to cover your head while you’re there

Hoppinggreen · 14/03/2022 20:01

I think either of those Coast ones would be perfect

FiddleFigs · 14/03/2022 20:02

At my Hindu wedding, our non-Indian guests wore a range of standard wedding guest attire (floral dresses with big hats, cocktail dresses etc), and even though the Indian wedding guests were decked out in all their finery, no one looked out of place. Just avoid red (it’s a bridal colour) and white/ivory/cream (traditionally worn for mourning).

waltzingparrot · 14/03/2022 20:03

I'd wear a long floaty dress that won't look a million miles away from the families will be wearing.

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