Going to a posh Indian wedding - what to wear

[WalkingToMordor]

I have been invited to a fancy wedding where the bride and groom are of Indian heritage - I am not.

Both families are very well to do so it is going to be a grand affair. I have been informed (by a relative of the groom) to expect mega fancy saris and lehengas. What on earth should I wear?

The big difficulty is that I am very short (under 5ft) and can only wear petite ranges - truly, normal people clothes look ridiculous. I am in my 50s so prefer to be a bit covered up. I am a size 8 so can't wear low necklines as I am pancake chested.

I have searched and searched online but just can't find anything to fit the bill. I know I will never look as glamorous as all the guests in their beautiful, colourful silk saris etc but I would prefer not to look like someone who wandered into the party by accident.

Any ideas?

If you're in London then Green Street would be your best bet for desi attire. I would particularly recommend Puja Silk House (they have two branches here, I'd opt for the newer one). Doli is also great and where I purchased my wedding saree from At your height and size you'll have a lot of options, and they're always happy to tailor it for you if needed - my struggle is always having to go for the larger sizes at 5'7 and having to stitch the dress smaller so I didn't look like a potato sack.

Get thee to on the Piccadilly Line to Alperton and then for a wander down Ealing Road. There are hundreds of dress shops down there who would be delighted to style you. You’ll find a colour sari etc that will suit and fit (South Asian women come in all shapes and sizes, just as Europeans do).

GO FOR IT! What FUN! I would be so excited!

@thinkfast. That dress is perfect.

If you don’t think that will work, try similar. Look in the bridesmaid section on every site in your budget

I'm Hindu and had guests in either sarees, lehengas or western dress. As you've said, no shalwar kameez- that's from a different region to my family's home. We also don't cover our heads under the mandap but that may be different in different families. Don't wear red/green as that's the bridal colours, or white or black due to widows.
I'm under 5 foot and have never had a problem getting outfits to fit. There are a few second hand ones on depop. If you want to wear a lehenga or saree (someone at the wedding will help you drape-just bring lots of safety pins) then please do! Otherwise some of my friends wore what they would wear to a western wedding and that was fine too. Enjoy!

@Coffeencrochet

If you're in London then Green Street would be your best bet for desi attire. I would particularly recommend Puja Silk House (they have two branches here, I'd opt for the newer one). Doli is also great and where I purchased my wedding saree from At your height and size you'll have a lot of options, and they're always happy to tailor it for you if needed - my struggle is always having to go for the larger sizes at 5'7 and having to stitch the dress smaller so I didn't look like a potato sack.

Oh, that shop looks amazing! Bet you looked beautiful - follow this woman’s advice OP!

That's very glamorous, thinkfast, I will look at that

Agree with Monsoon. Get a bright jewel coloured one like this blue number.

I am not a big fan of indian stores here in the UK. The fashion is a few years behind and the materials are thick and scratchy and uncomfortable. If you can, try shipping them directly from India. House of Indya is a safe bet. This embroidered trouser suit is perfect for a wedding.

www.houseofindya.com/navy-multicolor-boota-double-layered-tunic-171/iprdt

That Monsoon dress is lovely but they don't do petite, do they? Normal clothes are too wide across the shoulders.

Thanks for all the ideas for Indian shops.

Again with the idea of bridesmaid dresses, the issue is my lack of stature, unfortunately.

Go to Khaadi in Westfield?

My sister recently got married last year and is only just 5 foot. Most Indian shops will adjust and have in house tailors to get the outfits to fit. Some of the modern Indian suits were just very long sparkly dresses and I saw loads of guests wearing this style. I’d go with the recommendations above of specific shops in the London areas with Asian shops. Equally if you don’t want to wear Indian style clothing I’m sure no one will mind.

The most beautiful dress you have seen, colourful, no black or white, definitely not red, that's for the bride. No cleavage, nothing figure hugging, no short dresses. Everyone will be looking stunning in all colours of the rainbow, with lots of gold jewellery. So go big or go home.

There is also loads of delicious food, food with turmeric in, so wear a colour that would not show if you dropped or someone dropped it on you. Lots of dancing, so something you can dance in.

Also on another note, normally don't do presents, you normally give money in a pretty envelope, to wish the couple prosperity.

Indian or Western dress it doesn’t matter but just be extra extra blingy 😉

Also no: red/gold/green (bridal colours ) white/black (funeral - but tbh some people do wear black now mixed with other colours)

Non Asian guests at my family’s weddings have been v excited about traditional dress, but £200 unfortunately doesn’t go that far

In your situation I might choose Western wear for comfort and maybe rent something: this is the occasion for bright colours/top to toe sequins/general bling.

It’s v common for EVERYONE to dance (at least for a few minutes) so wear something you can move in too

My daughter is mixed race Nepalese, but never been into dressing up in her dads cultural side. Too much colour and sparkle. They had a culture day her college and all her friends were wanting to wear their national dress, so she wanted to wear a sari. I put a shout on Facebook and someone lent her a beautiful sari for the day.

I'd wear something like this

www.lyst.co.uk/clothing/decode-18-embellished-v-neck-chiffon-a-line-dress-182581/?reason=horizontal-related-products&paid_session_id=0bd27c35-bbb8-4a83-ba7a-f0fb70b17bd4

with lots of jewellery

What about an OTT kaftan dress with lots of embroidery and jewels? Like this Etsy one

@thebellsesmereldathebells

I'd wear something like this

www.lyst.co.uk/clothing/decode-18-embellished-v-neck-chiffon-a-line-dress-182581/?reason=horizontal-related-products&paid_session_id=0bd27c35-bbb8-4a83-ba7a-f0fb70b17bd4

with lots of jewellery

This one & @thinkfast’s suggestions are spot on

The Monsoon dresses and the floaty yellow ones are too casual: a little girl or a widow can be more casual/underdressed at an Indian wedding, but for an adult woman it’s out of place

I am getting a liking for embroidered long dresses! One purple with a cape that doubles up as veil

And blue

And another blue one

I am Hindu of Indian heritage with family and friends who would be classed as affluent/rich (I'm just trying to give context and not being pathetic!). In my circle, my non-Indian heritage friends would not look out of place if they wore dresses like this at a wedding. www.monsoon.co.uk/jeannine-embellished-midi-dress-in-recycled-polyester-blue-24059761.html

All really lovely dresses @MushMonster.

However OP don't feel like you have to dress to the nines. Not all Indian weddings are OTT bling and extra-extra. South Indian weddings (e.g. Kerala) are muted affairs with simple cream sarees and plain gold jewellery. So it really depends what kind of an Indian wedding it is...

If you aren't used to bling, don't pressure yourself into wearing it. Wear something tasteful you will be comfortable in the whole day. Maybe wear statement jewellery to give a zing to the outfit.

If you are shelling a couple of hundred on an outfit, might as well pick something you enjoy and may even wear on other occasions...

Really like the dress @SugarAndSpiceIsNice posted

One thing: if you are going to buy Asian dress (vs Asian inspired) and are not in touch with the fashions, try to get an input from someone in the know

I’ve had Western guests turn up in traditional dress from totally different cultures (the equivalent of eg a Spanish flamenco outfit to a Swedish wedding). It’s not that big a deal/a sweet effort but if you are actually going to spend money why not get something current/the right culture

Asian formal wear has quite fast moving trends: my outfits are embarrassingly dated in a year or two

That’s why I’d go for Western clothing

A little over your budget but comes in small sizes:
www.shibumistyle.com/collections/shift-dresses/products/bardot-dress-in-vintage-rose

SugarAndSpiceIsNice, that Monsoon dress is gorgeous. I wish someone would make Monsoon do petite clothes!

Mscynical, the Shibumi dress is exquisite.

So many brilliant ideas, thank you.

This is so interesting and helpful. We've just had an invitation to an Indian wedding and I also don't know where to start. The invite says "glam" so I don't know if that means long or short! I'd prefer to get a glam jumpsuit as we have another wedding in the summer. Any ideas. Size 12. Budget £150. Dark hair very pale skin. Suits greens, blues and pinks.