Peri menopause… how did I go from slim

[IvorCutler]

to a big fat mess.

I’m feeling very down. 4 years ago I was a size 8, now I’m a 12, verging on 14. I want to make clear that I don’t think everyone who is a 12-14 looks fat or a mess, people can look amazing at any size. I just look like shit.

I don’t feel my habits have changed much in 4 years, I walk a little bit less but still manage 10k steps most days. I strongly suspect I’m going through peri menopause (about to turn 38 and my mum started the menopause at 40).

Does anyone have any tips for fitness/weight loss at this stage of life? I’m ratty a lot of the time and I have zero energy in the evenings. Is it possible to lose weight now or am I fecked? Please help, I’m feeling completely deflated.

@Newgirls I have a gym available to me for free and I’d like to get back into it but I just feel I have no energy whatsoever. I don’t drive, so walk everywhere. My children are 6 and 8 so I’m still quite active with them. I’m just burnt out once the day is done! I get 6-7 hours of sleep each night. I’d like to get 8.

I am the same OP, it’s driving me nuts. I’m not doing much differently to 4 years ago but my body shape has changes, I have a belly rather than a flat stomach, I am a size 12 but my clothes are tighter, 4 years ago I was a size 10. I exercise daily, I swim, I walk every day and barely sit still, my diet is ok (some room for improvement) but I can’t seem to shift weight. I’m almost 40.

I'm 47, a bit further on.

Have learnt that it doesn't change back, so really getting a grip on what needs to change helps.

I wear more makeup, got rid of some clothes and jewelry, walk and weight train more, more water, more rest, more alone time. More supplements as well, Menopace really helps me. Getting used to generally eating less has been good, you get used to long stretches between meals.

It's not fun but its necessary and I hope I rise to the challenge...

I am 50 and peri. The only way I can stay relatively slim is to exercise like a mad woman (I exercise 3 hours a day 7 days a week) and eat very little and hardly any alcohol. Alcohol is the enemy for me because it makes me eat more while I drink and the next day.

@IvorCutler I started HRT and do Joe Wicks a couple of times a week which has made me feel much better.But the single thing that has dropped the peri menopausal weight has been stopping drinking last September.

Thanks @Chrispackhamspoodle I have cut down alcohol dramatically this year but perhaps I need to stop altogether! I didn’t drink for 9 months (starting 2019) and then the pandemic happened 😩 I should really try and muster the energy for Joe Wicks!

Sounds like you aren’t getting enough sleep - any idea why? There’s loads to read up on about that. It might be low oestrogen.

Also alcohol can impact on sleep. Maybe cutting that out and see what happens? Sounds drastic but once you get on top of sleep/weight etc you could reintroduce a little?

people stating they cut out processed food, then lost weight without trying.....

errrr you lost weight due to a reduction in shit calories such as refined sugars and hydrogenated/palm oils.

So whilst this isnt a 'diet' as such, it still alters the body. In a good way!

I am 48 and thought i was getting bigger due to hormones.
this is often utter bullshit, i would say a combination of lockdowns, covid and incrementally increased nibbling and carbs put the weight there, not meno.
It's a tired excuse, and whilst the metabolism aint what it was at 20, i do think we have far more power over our choices than we imagine. Different things work at different times in our lies but there is no strict rule that weight piles on at meno.

I gained a stone over pandemic. Insisted i hadnt changed my habits - but i had increased my wine intake like a MOFO! I was also nibbling after drinking. Once this stopped, the weight came off again - MN blamed it on - you guessed it - meno.

@ConfusedParticle that’s actually exactly what I want to hear. I’m sick of feeling like a lost cause.

@Newgirls I definitely need more sleep. I’m a very light sleeper so find it very difficult to sleep through. My husband goes to bed very late and always wakes me. And my children are up at the crack of dawn. They’re able to look after themselves for a while before I get out of bed but once I’ve been woken I can’t get back to sleep. I’d say I probably have 6-8 units of alcohol a week (over the weekend).

Can you escape to a spare room for a few nights to catch up? And yep sounds like alcohol won’t be helping

I wish we had a spare room! We’re in a 2 room apartment! Live in a stupidly expensive city 😩

Ivor you probably won't believe a word of what I'm about to say but I am absolutely certain you don't look like a fat mess. You might think you do but to the outside world, you won't. It is not possible to be a fat mess at 5'8 and 11st.

I do agree that you are most likely peri. I've been really lucky with HRT in that the first type I tried works like a dream. It gives me that extra bit of 'oomph' to get things done, stops me from wanting to stuff myself with Galaxy bars every night, stops the spots, all sorts of other things too. Of course, the main problem with peri, meno and HRT is getting the GP to take you seriously in the first place!

It is never too late to try to feel better. Looking better is a side effect of feeling better (and sometimes we just feel better about our appearance because we feel better in ourselves!).

I feel for you because I.was a size 6 to 8 about 3 yes ago and now I am a size 12. I exercise like a demon and eat incredibly well, but I still cant shift it. Even with intermittent fasting thrown into the mix. I am almost 45 and started HRT less than a week ago, and really trying to be hopeful that something will give.

@RobertaFirmino thank you

@Sunnycats I hope things turn around for you with the HRT. You deserve some good luck after all the work you’ve been putting in!

Just to add, I know it is hard if you are feeling exhausted but actually getting some aerobic exercise will most likely make you feel more energetic, not less. It will probably also mean you sleep more soundly, so definitely worth a try.
I found when I hit mid-forties I felt much, much better after upping my exercise and adding in some proper weight training. I also have to be more careful about carbs, whereas a decade ago I could eat what I liked…

There was recently a study saying your metabolism only changed a little and that was 60 plus. Intermittent fasting works for me. Just don’t eat anything at all for long stretches.

@MsTSwift, with two still quite young children (one of which has additional needs) and no car (I walk everywhere) I really don’t think I could manage intermittent fasting. That is positive about metabolism only changing a little though, thank you.

@LarkRize I completely agree that energy begets energy! I think I possibly need to look at having my iron increased again as I’m just pathetically weak most of the time (this could also be mental health related).

@IvorCutler I completely understand where you are coming from

I’m 45, menopausal which has recently been confirmed. I’ve been in this place for a few years I believe. The weight is piling on& I feel a total mess. My hair used to be fabulous, it’s now thinning and flat. I look old, I’ve developed so many lines and I look exhausted.

Made worse by the pandemic (I’m a nurse so it’s been full on). My DCs are 11 and 9, life is so full on. It’s like I am busier now than I was in my 30’s but yet I am more exhausted than I have ever been

Catching sight of myself in the mirror, I don’t recognise the woman in front of me.

I hear you. It’s like the old me is slipping away.