Formal wear for a 10 year old girl?

[PineConeWar]

We've been invited instructed to attend a formal evening meal in the spring. Our lives are very far removed from such affairs and I don't have a clue what counts as (British) formal any more. Posh restaurant wear for us would be jeans and a collared shirt without tie. This is what DH and DS will wear.

But I've no idea what I or, more importantly, DD should wear. She won't wear dresses. She is not into frilly, floaty or impractical things although is partial to a bit of sparkle. Can't wear polyester. I have no idea what style of things to look at. What do you all advise?

For an evening meal? Fuck that.
Yes, I know. But.... I mean they could have spoken to me before organising and we could have gone for a couple of weeks. And yes, if we can't get permission, we can't go. We definitely can't afford the fine.

Is it correct that your son has additional needs? The button on trousers that are not denim are easier to do than button jeans where the material is stiff
Yes. It hadn't actually occurred to me that it might be easier on non-denim. He only wears pull on trousers, and I was just grateful to get him to a) wear trousers that are b) smarter than joggers! I had so many problems ordering from M&S that I stopped especially as returns are a pain. Maybe I'll have to give them another chance. Thank you.

@PineConeWar have you looked on Mango? I've found some lovely kids stuff on there in the past.

You live in Europe. How on earth is 3 days travel involved in visiting the UK? Nowhere in Europe is further than 4 hours away.

@HandScreen

You live in Europe. How on earth is 3 days travel involved in visiting the UK? Nowhere in Europe is further than 4 hours away.

I assume a day to travel, a day for the event and a day to travel back. Obviously you could do it in 2 for an evening event but might be tiring for dc and hard for one with asn

And if there is a journey to the airport either side it can be significantly longer. The flight to Cyprus for example is 5 hours but takes me a full day door to door

Boden do pull on trousers.

https://www.boden.co.uk/en-gb/relaxed-slim-pull-on-trousers-terrier-brown-cord/sty-b1249-tan?gclid=Cj0KCQiA2sqOBhCGARIsAPuPK0jppwiLrRdrNU06KgnEYxjjW7RzuwCjkR76xD8GbAAvv5kMHYR6lS8aAtzEALwwwcB&code=C9T2&cmmmc=PLAAGooglele14632253885512655595734545pla-379397039987&gclsrc=aw.ds&effid=YdNWYgAABUvwcR9o:20220103200242:s

You live in Europe. How on earth is 3 days travel involved in visiting the UK? Nowhere in Europe is further than 4 hours away. Four hours flight time is not the same as journey time though. We can't fly direct. We have to travel to the airport, take a flight to get a connecting flight and on one the journeys there is no possible connection so we'd have to stay overnight near the middle airport.

@PineConeWar

You live in Europe. How on earth is 3 days travel involved in visiting the UK? Nowhere in Europe is further than 4 hours away. Four hours flight time is not the same as journey time though. We can't fly direct. We have to travel to the airport, take a flight to get a connecting flight and on one the journeys there is no possible connection so we'd have to stay overnight near the middle airport.

Where do you live? A lot of PPs have asked this now.

I'm guessing one of the smaller Greek Islands.

Op obviously doesn't want to reveal this .
A mystical place in Europe where everyone wears jeans for everything...court, weddings, everything.

Op obviously doesn't want to reveal this
Not particularly. I am in Central Europe.

Gap do some nice chinos and Oxford shirts, then a blazer from somewhere like John Lewis.

Dressing appropriately for a given occasion is somewhat of a life skill surely? We may not always want to dress smartly, but from time to time we need to. IMO it’s something that children do need to learn.

It's pretty rude to turn up to a formal event in jeans and trainers. Don't go to the event if you don't like the dress code.
For your DD who doesn't like dresses, a nice jumpsuit or a trousers/shirt/blazer combo would be formal.

Why do people need to know where op lives? And why the rude remarks about her ds learning to do up buttons? There are lovely people on this board but some really nasty/ignorant ones too.

Here you go, M&S easy dressing school trousers in black or grey . It has an elasticated waist band and no buttons especially designed for children with dexterity issues.

OP google easy dressing clothes for your son and a larger range will come up. M&S and ASDA do it now as well as other retailers.

For your dh - chinos, shirt and jacket maybe tie. Check with venue

For your ds - easy dressing trousers and shirt from M&S

For you & your dd - jumpsuits

It's the right side of semi formal and you won't look too out of place by being too casual.

Ok, if DS has additional needs, then let him wear what he's happy in.

Blouse and trousers should be ok for Dd..no need to pretty it up if not wanted to..do involve her if you can. H and M usually have good selection. Linen trousers, sandals and cotton blouse? Or slimline trousers, sparkly flats (you said she like glitter) and floaty type blouse.

Dd used to.like wearing brightly coloured leggings and a tunic top for ease of movement at that age.

I also think if the op had stated that her son had SEND and struggled with dressing formally, she'd have got more helpful responses. I think because the op focused too much on what her family won't wear & their hate of formal dressing, the thread derailed a bit. My ds has SEND, it can be tricky getting him to wear certain things but it's got easier as he's got older. He now has an obsession for looking posh!

Kids adaptive clothing for kids

That is very sweet @Twinkleylight. My ds wants to look ‘cool’, which is a little sad but also a positive that he’s developing more social awareness.

I just think if someone says their 12 year old can’t do up buttons there is likely a reason for it and if people can’t come to that conclusion themselves and suggest he learns otherwise, they’re incredibly ignorant.

I also think if the op had stated that her son had SEND and struggled with dressing formally,
But I was asking for my DD so the fact that he has difficulties with e.g. buttons seemed irrelevant... Thanks for all the links for him though, at least there are options for him. Would shorts be out of the question?

I spoke to MIL this morning who thinks the whole thing is ridiculous and that there is no need to dress formally for such an event! A plan has developed though. I can always send her shopping with DD

I think shorts might be acceptable is their smart like chino style with a shirt. What month though? Have you for the climate in England?

Absolutely no to shorts, as I suspect you know.

Unfortunately I think 12 is too old for shorts to worn as part of a suitable formal outfit. It can look acceptable on younger boys, but once a child grows taller (past what would have been 'long trousers' age, a while back!), it looks odd.

Not to say you can't do it if your DS finds shorts very much easier, but I'm not sure that suitable shorts-containing formal wear would be any less likely to not have a button. Adaptive trousers are probably what you need!

I was thinking like this but agree it's probably harder to shop for than trousers