Formal wear for a 10 year old girl?

[PineConeWar]

We've been invited instructed to attend a formal evening meal in the spring. Our lives are very far removed from such affairs and I don't have a clue what counts as (British) formal any more. Posh restaurant wear for us would be jeans and a collared shirt without tie. This is what DH and DS will wear.

But I've no idea what I or, more importantly, DD should wear. She won't wear dresses. She is not into frilly, floaty or impractical things although is partial to a bit of sparkle. Can't wear polyester. I have no idea what style of things to look at. What do you all advise?

@PineConeWar it needs to be chinos, shirt and jacket I think at least. DH can add them to office wear. How old is DS? Can he keep it for college or interviews? As for DD if she won't wear it again, can you ask relatives in England to sell it for you on EBAY or vinted?

Just don't go. You clearly don't want to.

I don't understand why three of you are going to wear jeans but you don't know what your dd should wear.

Op I do think you’ll feel out of place in jeans if it’s formal and no one else is wearing them
I can deal with that, but feel it might be unfair on DD. DS would be oblivious

dd normally lives in jeans and sweatpants
This is what Dd wears, plus a t-shirt either long or short sleeved and a hoodie.

That's a useful summary gogohm. If there's a dress code for the restaurant (as opposed to relative) , it would be obvious on the website wouldn't it?

It's not a wedding, it's a (surprise) birthday party.

What restaurant is it op? I doubt its outing and people might have an idea of what it's like in reality as in is there an unofficial dress code?

Just tell us the restaurant and we can help you decide just how ‘formal’ your outfits need to be!

How old is DS? Can he keep it for college or interviews? he's 12. Will probably have grown out of whatever I get by the following week 🙄

www.marksandspencer.com/velvet-jumpsuit-6-16-yrs-/p/clp60513538?extid=ps_ps-gpla_ggl_kw_ch__-UK-_-__encore&ds_rl=1295956&ds_rl=1296067&ds_rl=1296067&ds_rl=1295956&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI5K2p84OW9QIVuoODBx0kFg6XEAQYBiABEgKLzPD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

If he's oblivious then buy dark chinos and pop them in the wardrobe with his jeans and he'll just wear them as normal. Are you somewhere you'd generally need jumpers? Perhaps chinos, collared shirt (cheap) and nice jumper (reusable)?

Do either of them have cousins you could borrow from? Or get an app like Vinted and trawl through and get it delivered to relatives in England?

OP, if you are planning to go (and it reads to me as if you don't want to and are annoyed by the whole thing) you really, really need to establish what the minimum dress code is. None of what you are suggesting comes anywhere near the definition of formal.

Your right not to go of course, but if you do, you all need to be on the right page.

shop.mango.com/gb/girls/jumpsuits-long/striped-long-jumpsuit_17074051.html

Nice for a tomboy ?

Quick search, £4 on vinted plus postage

Where are you OP and how tall is 12yo ? DS had a suit bought for his uncle's wedding in 2016 (he was 12) I think we still have it I can send it anywhere in the UK.

For your DD I would suggest leggings and a longish sparkly or dressy top - it gives the effect of a dress while still being very comfortable.

Perhaps do her hair in a dressier way than normal and add a piece of jewellery.

Please tell us where you are living. I'm really intrigued .

River island do some lovely pieces for young girls. Leather, tartan, plaid skirts are in right now paired with a simple white shirt would be nice some tights with boots/ shoes.

A jumpsuit is also a good option. If you don’t want to name the restaurant could you give an idea of what area is it? Or similar places so people are make adequate options.

www.riverisland.com/p/girls-cream-boucle-collar-shift-dress-476782?gclid=Cj0KCQiA2sqOBhCGARIsAPuPK0hxxkmX4Mq0RJZ8Ol5Jd9kiTsvDYTLllEVMLeARDspvde1DaT2rpQoaAkKrEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

This is nice

I am presuming that this is just a meal at a fancy restaurant rather than it being formal black tie event ?

Can you give us any wording on the event or an idea of what was said to you if it was verbal?

Compared to the price of flights the cost of dressing appropriately from a uk night street store will be not very much, both your kids could get kitted out for < £20 each.

Please tell us where you are living. I'm really intrigued .

My guess is Australia or possibly Southern Spain as she talks about Euros. Somewhere warm as no mention of jackets/jumpers.

He is 164cm, (nearly 5ft5 ) but can't wear trousers with buttons. I think I've found some on M&S which might work? They're not denim.

Do either of them have cousins you could borrow from?
There is no way my DD would ever agree to wear the clothes her cousins are dressed in

I hate dress codes for the reason that I am short and fat and formal wear is uncomfortable. I'd ring the restaurant (or email) and ask exactly what their dress code is.
If I was required to be dressed like a stuffed kipper just for the privilege of handing over my hard earned cash for food, I would have to really, really want their food.

I really am intrigued, I think there is a culture gap here, nearly all English 12yo would wear trousers with buttons for school and a tie if male. I wouldn't consider those trousers suitable for a formal event.

So it's a family party, rather than a formal dinner and dance? Quite a difference between a 'formal event' and surprise birthday party. I'd expect children at a party to wear jeans and shirt, party dress etc.
Adult woman - dress or smart jeans and a dressy top (not a shirt) or similar.
Man - Jeans or chinos with a shirt.

It would have to be a wedding formal dinner for anything dressier.

Is there anyone else going who you can ask?

Go on, op , tell us where you live

So it's a family party, rather than a formal dinner and dance?
I very much fear it will be a family party that is a formal dinner and dance...

I wouldn't consider those trousers suitable for a formal event.
Can you suggest some that are suitable but have no buttons 😩

I think there is a culture gap here, nearly all English 12yo would wear trousers with buttons for school and a tie if male.
Culture, ideology and all the rest of it. We have no school uniform. As long as their clothes are suitable for the weather, anything goes. Except flip flops when they have PE. That really annoys the teachers!

Is there anyone else going who you can ask?
Only my relative who doesn't know about it!