Formal wear for a 10 year old girl?

[PineConeWar]

We've been invited instructed to attend a formal evening meal in the spring. Our lives are very far removed from such affairs and I don't have a clue what counts as (British) formal any more. Posh restaurant wear for us would be jeans and a collared shirt without tie. This is what DH and DS will wear.

But I've no idea what I or, more importantly, DD should wear. She won't wear dresses. She is not into frilly, floaty or impractical things although is partial to a bit of sparkle. Can't wear polyester. I have no idea what style of things to look at. What do you all advise?

@PineConeWar

(In case you hadn't guessed, I've no clue about fashion and putting an outfit together. Seems harder and more important to get it right for her than for me!)

No I think if you, your dh and ds are planning on wearing jeans to a formal event, I'd say you're finding it hard for all of you not just your dd.

None of you should wear jeans. It's a formal occasion, if you can't dress appropriately then decline the invitation.

Your DH works at a lawyers and doesnt own a suit or trousers? What happens if he ever needs to go to court?

@PineConeWar

Any smart skirt or trousers would be fine for your daughter. But what does that look like?!

These are probably her smartest trousers - she has last years version which are a slightly darker denim than this.

Is this a wind up? Are you seriously expecting us to believe that you think jeans with holes in could pass for smart?

Listen to what people are saying. Jeans are not suitable. Wear slacks and shirts with jackets, if you must.

Are you seriously expecting us to believe that you think jeans with holes in could pass for smart?
When did I say that jeans with holes in would pass for smart?

Your DH works at a lawyers and doesnt own a suit or trousers?
He owns a suit (from our wedding) but never wears it, probably it's too small now! If he has to wear non jeans he wears a pair of chinos and shirt plus a jacket. But that's for work.

It's a formal occasion, if you can't dress appropriately then decline the invitation.
Lol, we haven't actually been invited. I've been told to present myself with the DC and DH if he can get time off work. But of course, if I can't get permission to take them out of school, it might all be immaterial.

Yes, jeans with holes in are ideal, you rebel, you!
You can all wear them and people will see how uber relaxed and unconventional you are.

Is that what you want to hear?

Lol, we haven't actually been invited. I've been told to present myself with the DC and DH if he can get time off work. But of course, if I can't get permission to take them out of school, it might all be immaterial.

Ah well in that case I think you'd probably be better telling the invitee that. Far better than turning up and embarrassing them by seemingly not knowing what to wear. Though maybe that was your plan....?

Tbf to madison and OP, you have to look at the link to the jeans quite carefully - they're not holes they're patches, part of the design.

Yes, jeans with holes in are ideal, you rebel, you!
Where did this whole jeans with holes come from? My DC do not (currently) have and jeans with holes in and neither do I. Nor does DH. Once the DC's clothes have holes in they are relegated to school or the garden. I have never, and do not intend to take my DC to a restaurant with holes in their clothes.

I do not really see what is wrong with dark black, well fitting jeans (talking about me here) and a blouse. Despite some people's belief to the contrary, the world does not end if you wear jeans to e.g. church.

@titchy

Tbf to madison and OP, you have to look at the link to the jeans quite carefully - they're not holes they're patches, part of the design.

Oh, sorry about that. I'm on my phone and they looked like holes. I apologise @PineConeWar. Thanks Titchy.

If your husband has chinos, I think they be smarter than jeans. You can pick up smart trousers quite cheaply. And ties.

You can’t wear jeans to a formal event!

If they haven’t got a suit, buy some chinos and a shirt. If you don’t want to spend out, has ds got school trousers he can wear with a shirt?

Similarity for dd, smart trousers and a nice top.

jumpsuit

A formal evening meal is different to going to church, wear lots of people wear jeans.

Can you name the event or restaurant, and maybe people would have a better idea of the appropriate attire?

You're making the idea of formal dress seem silly because you don't want to go to the occasion. Formal dress has its place and is really not difficult to work out - your H knows what's appropriate at work for example. If you don't want to go, just don't and stop making it about the clothes. I don't mean that in a bitchy way by the way - you're just wasting your time worrying about the wrong thing (and that of those people in these thread who are telling you what formal wear means when you certainly know already).

I do not really see what is wrong with dark black, well fitting jeans (talking about me here) and a blouse. Despite some people's belief to the contrary, the world does not end if you wear jeans to e.g. church.

No of course the world won't stop. But for a formal occasion formal clothes should be worn. Would your dh wear jeans to an interview? Would you use the wrong cutlery or slurp or burp in a restaurant or not bother saying please or thank you or swear in a church? It's basic manners and respect.

Most people find it rather disrespectful to wear jeans to a wedding or funeral. If you're happy to have everyone thinking you're a scruff with no manners then fine, but it's really not fair on your kids - they're guided by you.

The world won't stop if jeans with holes in are worn, but you draw the line at that - why?

@ThePlantsitter

You're making the idea of formal dress seem silly because you don't want to go to the occasion. Formal dress has its place and is really not difficult to work out - your H knows what's appropriate at work for example. If you don't want to go, just don't and stop making it about the clothes. I don't mean that in a bitchy way by the way - you're just wasting your time worrying about the wrong thing (and that of those people in these thread who are telling you what formal wear means when you certainly know already).

Yeah you're probably right.

Would your dh wear jeans to an interview?
Yes.

Most people find it rather disrespectful to wear jeans to a wedding or funeral
Certainly where we live, jeans and a shirt for the men and jeans and a nice top are perfectly acceptable and the usual thing to wear to a wedding. I've not been to any funerals here, FIL wore a suit to one but he was giving the eulogy. DH and BIL wore jeans and a shirt.

Would you use the wrong cutlery or slurp or burp in a restaurant or not bother saying please or thank you or swear in a church?
No, definitely not!

You're making the idea of formal dress seem silly because you don't want to go to the occasion.
Not true. Although I am annoyed I was consulted as to timing. I am one of the closest relatives to the person whose event it is and the organiser couldn't be bothered to ask if it was convenient for us to travel there. We will need 3 days travel, plus I'll need permission to get the Dc out of school else I'll face a 1000€ fine a day for each. If we're not there all hell will break loose. And relative will be upset.

The world won't stop if jeans with holes in are worn, but you draw the line at that - why?
Because it looks scruffy!

No worries madison I was just confused to where all the references to holes were coming from!

So you're not in the UK? In which case what a waste of everyone's time posting. Post on a website local to your country, or at least mention your country. Clearly the cultural norms are very different where you are.

This skirt, for example, OP:

www.ralphlauren.co.uk/en/plaid-wool-skirt-551049.html?dwvar551049_colorname=Red%20Black%20Multi&cgid=girls-trousers-skirts&webcat=girls%2FSkirts%20%5Cx26%20Trousers#webcat=girls%7CSkirts%20%5Cx26%20Trousers&start=1&cgid=girls-trousers-skirts

...with a blouse and necklace, would be fine for a young girl. I don't mean you need to get this exact piece! But just as an example.

So you're not in the UK?
No, but the event is.

Thanks Innocenta

All depends on location and event. If it's black tie then only dinner suits for men (smart trousers and waist coat is fine for a child under 12), for women it's knee length or below dress, jumpsuit or dress trousers and blouse. If the dress code is smart/formal that means either a suit or trousers (not jeans) and blazer for men and dress (any length) jumpsuit or smart trousers and blouse for women, again for boys a waist coat is fine. Jeans just aren't acceptable is there's a dress code specifically mentioned (smart casual means jeans). However all said said, for restaurants it's very rare to have a dress code these days, I've dined in very £££ places where most men are in jeans so ask them rules for the specific restaurant, it might be a lot less scary than you thought

Btw chinos and a jacket usually is fine

Gosh I’d never wear jeans to a wedding!
Following because we have a family wedding in a few months and dd normally lives in jeans and sweatpants and is absolutely not going to wear a dress she tells me.
Jumpsuit or chinos seem like a good idea.

Op I do think you’ll feel out of place in jeans if it’s formal and no one else is wearing them.

Your husband should wear his chinos not jeans. I think this is more important than what your children wear as they can be excused, by way of being children.

Is it a wedding?