I think I’ve lost myself. Help me become visible again please.

[RemusLupinsBiggestGroupie]

Probably menopausal.
Went grey in lockdown.
Fatter than I’ve ever been at a size 14.
Nails are weak and never grow.
Skin generally decent enough.
Facial hair becoming noticeable having never really been troubled with it before.
Permanently knackered.
Seem to be permanently a bit under the weather - lots of colds and cold sores, as well as an underlying condition I’m on permanent meds for that have helped make me fat.
Feeling a bit miserable!

What half a dozen things would you do/buy in my position? I’m already booked in for a hair consultation.

I do have a couple of good points-
Legs still okay
Nice slim wrists
A pretty good wardrobe

I'd buy a good perfume. Always makes me smile when I'm wearing a favourite scent.

I am in this boat. Except I don't want to get out!

A fabulous red coat is the thing for you. Perhaps belted for your lovely waist but definitely knee length and fitted. Own it!

I have recently started taking better care of myself since having my first child and neglecting myself a bit. I’ve bought a gel nail kit and having my nails done makes me feel much more put together and glamourous. It’s made a huge difference to my self-esteem! I don’t have particularly long nails but if yours are in a state you could try taking some hair and nail tablets?

Consider HRT

Get all the hair sorted!

Get a fab shiny colour, buy some new conditioning treatment, hair oil etc
Get brows tinted and tidied
Have consultation about getting rid of facial hair

I would say makeup does wonders for making you feel good and knocks years off if just right. And I have started derma blading my face to get rid of peach fuzz. Foundation looks much better and overall smoothness of skin is noticeable.

Vitamin D and echinacea.

Hair and nails will make you feel so much better.

I’m a convert to eyelash extensions- I feel so ‘pretty’ everyday now- even walking around the house with acne and dull skin.

I know the meds are the main factor- but cutting out sweet things and stodge might make you feel a bit ‘lighter’. I’m a bit chunky but eating better always makes me feel better. Are you veggie? (I think you are…?) Maybe do some meal prep? Plan a week of full fat Greek yogurt, trays of roasted veg and omelettes and frittatas? Cutting down on booze may help too.

Get a belting haircut and love it. If you don't love it get some subtle colour put in.
Buy a nail oil and remember to use it.
Take magnesium and potassium, we are all low in it
Take vit B complex, vit D3 and a fish oil daily.
Buy a knee length swishy skirt (or the fabulous red coat mentioned above)
And ankle boots to go with it
In addition get some hormone help. They were shit when I started the whole thing but be prepared to fight your corner.

Cold sore cream. If you even think you feel the tiniest tingle start applying it. It’s possible to stop the little shits coming through if you catch them quick enough. Hours make the difference so I have tubes of it everywhere just in case.

Get a hormone test from the GP, thers no need to feel crap these days because of your hormones.
Are you happy being grey? I am because it makes me stand out amongst the sea of blondes in work but if you aren't colour it again.
Take magnesium, a fish oil and a multi vitamin

Body cream with a hint of tan
Nice jewellery

I also have put weight on due to various medication over the years for Lupus and have really only now made peace with the fact I'm so much heavier than I used to be. I look at it they aren't making me fat but keeping me healthy, plus my plump face makes me look younger .
I hate exercise but started swimming in June as a stress relief when my Dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, its made a big difference to me. I feel more supple and relaxed and physically stronger.

I felt just like you. Have invested in some make up that works wonders on day to day basis. Think of yourself as a long term project so go to the doctors, tell them your symptoms and discuss if HRT is right for you. For me it’s been a game changer and yes I’m still a bit overweight but don’t feel so awful and moody about it. Make a mood board of your ideal style on Pinterest and try to recreate within your budget. Put yourself first for a day and write an ‘action plan.’

HRT
Active Iron supplements, Vit D, magnesium.
LOTS of water every day.
7-10 portions of fruit and veg a day.
No alcohol.
Style consultation eg at John Lewis.

Eyebrows always make me feel better.

Thanks for all these.

My eyebrows are still pretty nice. I have lots of clothes and like most of them a lot. I also have several lovely perfumes.

Investing in some vitamins definitely needs to happen again. I've got nail oil - need to remember to use it more.

My doctor is total rubbish, but I do wonder if I need to make an appointment. Haven't been for years because they're so useless.

I don't drink lots but will have a couple of weeks off booze. Really need to cut out sweet things, although have been a LOT better about this recently.

I feel exactly the same, and I need a big kick up the bum. I've got a stone to lose, which I have no motivation for. I recently got the most expensive haircut and highlights I've ever had and it was money very well spent. Think women our age are often bad at self care and self love.

Take Biotin for hair and nails.

Acrylic overlays on your natural nails with a nice shiny clear gel topcoat (with regular infills). Will help with strength and growth and the look generally more elegant and cared for. Keep your hands moisturised and cuticles oil.

Get your hair done!

And maybe one of those moisturisers with a tiny bit of self tan in it for a bit of a glow to your face.

Plenty of water, vegetables and rest.

Also, I was clinging on to very long hair for much longer than I should have. I’ve just had it chopped off into a long bob and I feel great when I’ve curled it. It feels so chic.

Thanks again.

I look dirty with fake tan.

Hair is in a decent short/mid cut.

I will never be chic tbh, and have never really desired to be. I just don't want to be invisible.

A nice effective whitening toothpaste is a good idea too, to look generally fresher and brighter even when you’re not done up.

I honestly think a nice form if exercise gets you out of a slump. Something you enjoy - swimming, dance, pilates - a rush of endorphins and some fresh air and new people. Sounds corny but it really helped me.
I also think you can totally look fabulous at size 14 and grey!

Don't get eyelash extensions. They look awful on everyone. Even Miss Piggy

@BudgeSquare

Don't get eyelash extensions. They look awful on everyone. Even Miss Piggy

Agreed.