How can I feel less frumpy when I go out in the evening?

[Thisismynewname123]

I in my late 40s and I've lost my way. I'm carrying about a stone too much weight at the moment, which makes me a size 14, which isn't comfortable for me. Although I'm not short (5'6"), I'm not in proportion and I need to wear short length trousers/jeans, so I feel frumpy already because of my short legs, but I'm also big boobed, and nothing ever seems to sit right. I carry the extra weight in my mid section. I can't wear dresses because of my short legs/long torso. I would normally wear black skinny jeans and whatever decent top to go out, but then whoever I'm with always seems so much better turned out than me. I have no personal style anymore. I don't know how to feel good about myself when I go out. Do I just need to change up the top I wear, or try to change my style totally (i.e., find my style again)? Is it ok to wear biker boots to go out in the evening to a restaurant, or do I need something smarter? Any suggestions and links would help, even better if you're the same shape as me.

I’m a similar shape to you, a bit taller and older
Have you tried dresses? I find shift and shirt dresses are good for Apple shapes. Don’t be disheartened! Take a pal and go shopping and try lots on.

You can wear dresses! Who told you you can’t wear dresses!

Wear a nice unstructured dress maybe from Cos, with opaque tights and Boots of the same colour, with a bit of a heel, to give you a longer leg.

@Taoneusa I've tried so many dresses. I know I can't wear one with a waist, but if it's too unstructured, I look even bigger because of my boobs, so I look as though I have no shape at all. I do struggle with any kind of heel these days, after nearly 2 years of working from home and living in either slippers or trainers.

@BlueFlavour and @Taoneusa, thank you both for the support! If have you have links to anything in the shops now, that will help! I never have time for shopping, but can order loads online (to be returned when I look pregnant in it).

I’m going to try @Thisismynewname123
Would you be interested if I took pictures of dresses I have?
I live in hush harems and high top converse , so I’m not sure if my fashion credentials are exactly glowing

@BlueFlavour, yes it would help, if you are a similar shape to me. And I have 3 pairs of hush harems so I can't judge :)

Ok, I would wear this dress

I’m also a 12 to 14

I couldn't wear that. I'd look huge in it, because it would just hang down from my boobs

Do you like empire line styles, that gather in under the bust?

Ok fair enough
I’ve got big boobs

I have your issues, size 14, 5ft5 and massive boobs.
For me it’s in the neck line of the top - wrap or scoop neck instantly improves the look of your top half and waist.
Nice black boots never look out of place (prob not biker, but knee length or ankle - I find mid calf makes me look shorter)
I would stay with jeans or look for a dress which has some sort of waist to it (again wrap or with a tie/belt to get the most out of the boobs)
Avoid high necked, or baggy clothes - 14 isn’t that big and you don’t need to hide yourself.
I have found that looking for clothes in the supermarket etc makes me depressed as all the clothes have crap necklines and are made of horrible fabric. I normally buy a few nice bits on eBay (as I rarely can afford new stuff)

Also i have a really nice coat from Zara with a tied waist and like a large wrap round collar that hides the boobs and thins the waist which looks nice with boots and jeans

Also another top I really love is a cowl neck that I got from Dorothy Perkins, looks nice but not too showy

Sorry if this is a bit of a strange list. Hope any of this helps x

Like these?

www.johnlewis.com/french-connection-tabia-spot-print-jersey-v-neck-dress-jaffa-orange/p4868789

www.marksandspencer.com/floral-v-neck-midi-tea-dress/p/clp60524036?extid=ps_ps-gpla_ggl_ww_ch__-UK-_-_grow&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8p2MBhCiARIsADDUFVElRC4c417TnfqdsiLhdhoT5KoPVhjmWd86643DPaN5YyboBh60BrQaAsQJEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

www.shein.co.uk/Lantern-Sleeve-Empire-Waist-Embroidered-Dress-p-2259991-cat-1727.html?url_from=ukadplaswdress04210303345L&gclid=Cj0KCQjw8p2MBhCiARIsADDUFVFERYlax5VNfCe1f28k7ViI8Vzw_0Czx5StzJGD_pEsmnnvxSlbfEMaAkhbEALw_wcB

www.johnlewis.com/finery-lilly-confetti-geo-print-midi-dress-cream-multi/p5693927

Have you looked at Bravissimo clothing? Worth a look. Fitted shirts etc, for bigger boobed.

www.bravissimo.com/products/belted-broderie-top-pt699/#white-pt699wht

www.bravissimo.com/products/button-front-tea-dress-pd848/#khaki-pd848khk

This is lovely

What body shape are you? Find clothes that suit your shape?

article

article 2

These articles may be able to help you.

Can’t move atm as I have the cat on me
When she does I will post some pics.
One of the best dresses for me is a slightly batwing heavy t shirt dress from Benetton via ebay.

When she moves!

A wrap dress sounds like it would suit you.
Dress up for eve or down for day.
Wear with short ankle boots or long boots or heels or flats

Ok, I would wear this dress

Dress? It looks like heavy winter overcoat

Black velvety wrap dress, if you feel conscious of your boobs, a nice silk cami underneath to camouflage booby area

It's the boobs imo. You need to find outfits that flatter those/things don't hand off them. Drapes/wraps/v necks probably your friend.
Though I hate a wrap myself but mine are big...
also pick a necklace that's half way between your neckline and neck to draw the eye up

Something like this would look great with black jeans and boots:

www.wolfandbadger.com/uk/knitted-wrap-top-with-long-sleeves-in-grey/

If you are long bodied, short legged you need to create the illusion of better proportions. Trinny Woodall gives great advice on this as for all she is slim and tall she has proportionally short legs.

I would aim for high waisted slim cut flared jeans in dark colours.
Blouses you could half tuck - a good silk one especially.
Dresses belted in give the illusion of a waist… it doesn’t have to belt where your natural waist is!

Platform trainers/boots to lengthen legs.

Assuming your boobs are bigger than your waist then an empire line dress will straight away give you shape. I am similar shape and height to you, short legged etc, but I find in winter with the options of opaque tights and ankle boots I am happy wearing knee or above knee length dresses, whereas I couldn’t in the summer. Also, invest in a coat you love as it flams your every winter outfit, ditto bags and shoes or boots.

@Taoneusa I don't mind empire lines. I always thought they were a terrible idea for a big bust, but have found recently that if they're a relaxed fit with an empire line, they're not too terrible. I appreciate the links. Unfortunately, those colours won't work for me. I need dark or deep colours. Orange is the worst colour for me, I'm afraid. Bravissimo - I find the waist always sits in the wrong place on me. I have the odd thing from them which is ok, but more jersey fabrics rather than anything structured with a waist.

@Riverlee, I was always a typical hourglass, but I feel as though I've lost my waist a bit, with age and with the extra weight I'm carrying. I'm not an apple though, because I have decent shoulders, and large bust.