How can I feel less frumpy when I go out in the evening?

[Thisismynewname123]

I in my late 40s and I've lost my way. I'm carrying about a stone too much weight at the moment, which makes me a size 14, which isn't comfortable for me. Although I'm not short (5'6"), I'm not in proportion and I need to wear short length trousers/jeans, so I feel frumpy already because of my short legs, but I'm also big boobed, and nothing ever seems to sit right. I carry the extra weight in my mid section. I can't wear dresses because of my short legs/long torso. I would normally wear black skinny jeans and whatever decent top to go out, but then whoever I'm with always seems so much better turned out than me. I have no personal style anymore. I don't know how to feel good about myself when I go out. Do I just need to change up the top I wear, or try to change my style totally (i.e., find my style again)? Is it ok to wear biker boots to go out in the evening to a restaurant, or do I need something smarter? Any suggestions and links would help, even better if you're the same shape as me.

@HH76ds31 I do have a coat I love, but then always feel overdressed when I wear it. It's a red Hobbs coat from a couple of years ago. I've lost the confidence to wear anything that I stand out in. I agree with what you say, regarding an empire dress. But I struggle to find the right one that's not too clingy across the boobs, but just falls nicely underneath to show that there is shape underneath.

@ChirpyChirp, that is exactly the kind of top that I would normally wear.

This is a fab colour..

www.monsoon.co.uk/gracie-button-through-velvet-blouse-2416450722.html?gclid=Cj0KCQjw8p2MBhCiARIsADDUFVHBJisWZ0aIGSg-IavSbXVXIOoM3X1RgwGLqp0Y6oFxdKlK08ZFSwoaAjrcEALw_wcB

shop-uk.flylondon.com/products/silky-green-forest-zip-up-boots-lede228fly-fly-london?gclid=Cj0KCQjw8p2MBhCiARIsADDUFVEFOdTs6cl7nqmk4SDgbgC0GyInim-x9NrdMeiPLKwE7oqFGR8IKNsaAm0NEALw_wcB

They would look with some swishy wide legged black trousers, I think.

Book a John Lewis stylist appointment. Caveat: leave your credit card at home! The woman I saw was so good at getting the right clothes for my shape. (Obvs they may vary, but it didn't cost anything when I did it, and she even got me stuff from some sort of extreme sale rail round the back...)

Following.
My legs are longer, but otherwise I sound similar to you.
That grey knitted top is the only thing linked I'd contemplate wearing.
I cant wear dresses. The waist is never at my waist. And I've never understood empire cut tops/dresses. They make me look about 2 stone heavier!

I love the advice you have been given on here OP.
Some great options, but a cat was mentioned by a pp and I believe the rules state that we get to see a photo!😁
I agree with listening to Trinny about proportions and indeed everything she has to say about style, she has a great YouTube channel. But if not Trinny, maybe choose someone who either has a similar shape to yourself or someone whose style you love and use them for inspiration.
Also, the boobs. Invest in a really decent bra. Get your current size as your old bra may not be up to it, a proper fitting bra is essential for us with big boobs. A good bra will make you look slimmer. The same with a bit of shape ware. You don't have to wear it every day but it just smooths everything out.
While we're talking about underneath the clothes, the best thing you can wear to look good is confidence. A size 14 can look amazing, any size can, but it's how you feel that counts.
If you can make peace with the size and shape you are right now, even if you choose to lose weight later, then you'll always look good. Wear clothes you love, that make you feel happy, don't save things for best, that would be my advice to you.x

I was feeling just like you & I went and did a personal stylist appointment at John Lewis, do you have one near you?

The lady was amazing, and not pushy but gave me loads of ideas - tbh some of which I went & found cheaper elsewhere, but I’d never have tried some of the styles she suggested otherwise!

I'm a bit of a pudgy, top heavy hourglass figure and I recently wore a cotton, dark coloured blouse with black jeans, blouse half tucked into jeans. It was the first time in ages I'd felt fairly well put together. It was a really flattering combination.

I also have a shirt dress that I love. Tie at the waist can be pulled in for definition, leggings and suede knee high boots.

The rest of clothes....

Have you tried something like a Stitch fix stylist service? You fill out a profile about you and what you like, your shape etc and they send you clothes then you just pay for what you keep. Could be a good way to try out some new styles for inspiration?

I’m really liking hush’s blouses like this one this season. The neckline would work well with your boobs.

I'm 41 size 16 and long bodied and have just come to terms with it but it's really hard.

The best advice is the divide you body into thirds not in half so up to waist and is 2/3 and waist up is 1/3.

Technically I'm a slight pear but more hourglass with a podgy midrift. I have heavy legs and whic makes wearing short things hard.

Feel people make more effort this time of year than in the summer.

I have a nice calf length floral dresses from next in the sale with a wide belt (over the podgy stomach to cinch it) also a velvet blazer which makes anything amazing! Mine is round neck but the do loads v's

However I am happiest in skirts and tops -maybe due to long body? I have a calf length pleather pleated midi (lipsy sale) and a wear it with a plain fitted top with a slim belt over the waist band and a animal print mini I wear with a plain black top.

As for shoes I wear at this time my biker boots but also have some suede heeled boots from Bertie eons that get out about twice a year. Feel I also need some patent loafers.

Appealing indecipherable punctuation:

The best advice is TO divide youR body into thirds not in half: so up to waist is 2/3 and waist up is 1/3.

OP empire line dress - great with opagues and boots
www.marksandspencer.com/floral-frill-detail-knee-length-tea-dress/p/clp60524040

Get that red coat out and wear it!

How about wide legged trousers with boots with a bit of a heel? That would lengthen your legs

And another empire line

www.marksandspencer.com/floral-v-neck-button-through-tea-dress/p/clp60524037

These dresses are great if you feel your waist is a bit thick, as the fabric is very lightweight, not bulky.
I struggle with skirts and tops as the waist area always feels too bulky on me if I tuck something in, and too shapeless if I don’t. Dresses like these are great you just throw them on.

Ah annoying. I can’t post any more images. I will tomorrow.
Cat now sleeping on ds

I am a similar size to you with a longer torso and short legs. I am very pear shaped (large hips and bottom) but my bust has grown rather larger than I would like too. I am another advocate for the empire line dress. It makes the most of your bust and skims over the rest of your figure giving definition to your waist. Look for a scoop or V neck rather than a round neck and a long necklace can also draw the eyes downwards.

Are you in the right size bra?

I’m about your height, with big boobs.
This is flattering.
It goes is slightly under the boobs, then flares out slightly. So us a bit empire liney.
I did not expect it to be flattering at all, I was very pleasantly surprised.

www.marksandspencer.com/floral-high-neck-midi-tea-dress/p/clp60509967

@Notlostjustexploring

I'm a bit of a pudgy, top heavy hourglass figure and I recently wore a cotton, dark coloured blouse with black jeans, blouse half tucked into jeans. It was the first time in ages I'd felt fairly well put together. It was a really flattering combination.

I also have a shirt dress that I love. Tie at the waist can be pulled in for definition, leggings and suede knee high boots.

The rest of clothes....

Where did you get your blouse from, please?

What about something like this, it's a wrap dress but not right at the waist?

www.asos.com/topshop/topshop-kimono-sleeve-mini-dress-in-black/prd/201216202?colourwayid=201216214&SearchQuery=kimono+top

*tight

OP I could have written exactly your post! I'm 5'6", 32HH bust, size 14, long body, short legs, just turned 50. It's impossible! Loads of lovely clothes on this thread but nothing that would suit me
Tops are always too short, tight on the bust and loose on the waist. Shirts don't button up over my boobs. Dresses the waist is invariably about 4 inches above my actual waist, anything unfitted looks like a sack, trousers are always too long and not the right shape if shortened.
If anyone sees a v- neck or scoop neck dress with a lower waist please post it as I love dresses! Also tops to go out in the evening to go with jeans.

This is me too. Tiny legs, big bust, extreme inverted triangle. It's a really hard figure to dress imo. I could easily look ridiculous.

I tend to find dresses and low necks make me feel more frumpy. After years of avoiding higher necks, I now wear them most of the time and you can create the illusion of a v with a necklace or a jacket instead. It looks more modern.

Was looking at these earlier. I have to get all my trousers shortened but wonder if these would be good for evening.
www.marksandspencer.com/velvet-slim-fit-ankle-grazer-trousers/p/clp60516563#intid=carousel_FUNH_AT_SIMILAR_TOP_PDP_16_2:1a566399-710f-49b9-b84d-2ffa5d698a87

www.marksandspencer.com/velvet-wide-leg-trousers/p/clp60516733?color=DEEPRED&prevPage=srp#intid=prodColourId-60516733

I'm a very similar shape and size. I wear empire dresses with a belt. Most of my clothes come from tkmaxx but recently I've been lucky online with River Island, Zara and the Outnet

Appreciate all the comments and I'm working through them.

@InTheLabyrinth, agree with what you say. I have yet to find any casual dress that falls in the right place. A few years ago I used to wear the Hush Tara (I think?) one, that had the ruched skirt and baggy top, and I wore that to death because I could pull the waist to the right place. Unfortunately they're no longer the right style to wear. I agree re- empire lines making you look heavy. I'm open to them only because I found an evening dress a couple of years ago with a wrap bust and an empire line that was incredibly flattering, and I've been trying to replicate it in a casual dress but yet to find something.

@IAmTheLovechildOfYvesAndIsabel lots of recommendations for Trinny, but I find that she is so slim (and not large busted) that the general rules don't always work. I wear good bras. They're not the problem. I wear a fantasie moulded cup which gives a great shape.

@Notlostjustexploring, I think the dark blouse, dark jeans is pretty much what I'd end up with, because I'll feel like myself. Maybe I just need some new boots and accessories to lift it a bit.

@Chewbecca, I love the look of the Hush blouses, but I've tried ordering them in the past at the fabric was horrible and caused static hair. I need to find some similar lovely prints with a better fabric.

@cherrypiepie, agree skirts are always easier than a dress. I struggle with the midi anyway, because with short legs they look like a maxi on me, so I have to try loads to find a short length midi so that I falls at mid calf on me.

All the M&S links, but I've yet to ever find an M&S dress that looks right on me. I've tried on loads over the years.