Help just realised I'm frumpy

[41sunnydays]

So I went out in Saturday for lunch with some other women aged 30-55, I'm 41 and I realised I am dressed way more frumpy than everyone else.

I usually wear very sensible clothes like joules, but I have put on tons of weight during Covid as I am going through a very stressful time, so I am currently a size 20
So on Saturday I wore a black joules flowery dress and knee high boots and a sensible joules raincoat. Everyone else seemed to be wearing nice dresses, biker jackets, nice handbags and cool ankle boots.

Im going out again this weekend with my husband and friends who are coming to visit and I need some less frumpy outfits for lunch and maybe dinner.

Any help gratefully appreciated

Help anyone ?

In my view Joules and other flowery clothing can lean a bit frumpy. Maybe look at somewhere like Mint Velvet, or John Lewis have lots of other modern brands. Ankle boots are also more on trend than knee high boots.

What were the things about your friends 'nice dresses' that made you feel yours was frumpy? If you can work that out then maybe you could choose a new dress that suits your lifestyle and budget. Joules and white stuff make perfectly nice stuff but they aren't very up there in terms of stylishness. But you need clothes that work for you it just trendy stuff. Do you like jeans/ trousers? You could easily put together an outfit from what you have I reckon maybe adding one new thing to update it. Look on Pinterest

Tbh I suspect the raincoat was what did it but, if it's raining and you don't want to get wet you kind of need one! Umbrella? Get a new raincoat ( lots of threads on here)?

I've been a size 20. I also dislike flowery and have to say a lot of current dresses I don't think are very flattering to anyone. I'd avoid Joules for anything other than everyday basics really.

My recommendations are M&S - jeans are good and range of sizes, nice jackets and basics - but chose carefully! Kin from John Lewis - comes up quite big and not remotely flowery but helps if you are tall - some of it a bit sack like. Hush - some bigger sizes too and more leopard print. Also Oliver Bonas do a size 18 now and it's pretty generous especially in tops.

Good luck - I'm more of a jeans/boots/nice top person so maybe not what you are looking for though!

Tbh that sounds nice and I'm sure you looked lovely! That said, I do think a few modern things can make a whole outfit look a bit more stylish.

I've been wearing a denim jacket a bit more recently. I'm sure according to S&B I'm about 3 years behind the trend but I find that makes almost any outfit look a bit more trendy/deliberate. I also wear biker boots or ankle boots with a small heel and find that looks a bit more modern than my knee high boots.

I don't want to be cutting edge and I need to be comfy/warm/dry but it is nice to feel like you fit in with the current trends to an extent!

Also - I love florals but the current trend for granny chic florals can be a bit tricky I think.

If you like patterns (I very much do!) also nice can be star prints and (some) animal prints?

You could ask your friends for help? That might make your hunt for the unfrumpy clothes easier. Good luck. I'm in the same situation as you

Wrap dresses are your friend here!

My husband had told me to get new clothes for the weekend so i feel comfy, but I do like my clothes. I was thinking of maybe getting a new top to go with black jeans and ankle boots, and Maybe a jacket ? But to be honest I am not sure a biker jacket would suit me ?

How about this - more of a bomber jacket and not too ££

https://www.marksandspencer.com/cotton-quilted-bomber-jacket/p/clp60507874?intid=mobileappppdpshare

I know this will be different to your usual, as someone who has never shopped in Joules and suggestions on here always seem to be higher end options, but don't be afraid to completely widen your options and browse 'younger' brands curve sections. All do pretty flowery stuff and also great basics. Mumsnet clothing snobs whose first direction is always straight to a Reiss £250 dress would say otherwise but not everything on these retailers is or looks 'cheap'.

ASOS curve section has great non frumpy options, loads of trendy boots on ASOS at the mo and many nice jackets! and I know many would gasp at the suggestion but Pretty Little Thing do some great basics for starting off. I've recently bought a few plain black midi-maxi jumper dresses from here, and are lovely and soft.
www.asos.com/asos-curve/asos-design-curve-knitted-dress-with-v-neck-in-rib-in-black/prd/23444750

This one has imo been styled terribly but something simple like this would look great with tights and some ankle biker boots, leather jacket or even suede biker jacket on top.

A close friend of mine has been/still is a size 18 and likes Joules.

Personally I do think it's a bit floral.

Phase 8 and some other brands have nicer size 20 options including M&S and Sosander:-

www.shopstyle.co.uk/browse/womens-clothes?fts=size+20+dresses&gclid=47545494dfdc18a2c6123515ee602165&gclsrc=3p.ds&msclkid=47545494dfdc18a2c6123515ee602165&utm_campaign=UK:+Dynamic+Search+Ads&utm_content=&utm_id=t_dat-2325329653846809:loc-4076&utm_medium=PPC&utm_source=bing&utm_term=DYNAMIC+SEARCH+ADS

www.sosandar.com/

www.johnlewis.com/live-by-live-unlimited-v-neck-ruffle-blouse-black/p5808463
Not sure if you like black though
An alternative to a biker jacket www.johnlewis.com/live-unlimited-cotton-blazer-black/p5831667
Another top www.johnlewis.com/mint-velvet-blake-print-zip-neck-chiffon-blouse/p5742619?size=xl

@41sunnydays

My husband had told me to get new clothes for the weekend so i feel comfy, but I do like my clothes. I was thinking of maybe getting a new top to go with black jeans and ankle boots, and Maybe a jacket ? But to be honest I am not sure a biker jacket would suit me ?

That's brilliant! I found this jacket through a ten second google search so you must be able to find more but this is a biker jacket on a bigger model here and if you look on Pinterest you get similar images. So, I think you'd look great if you feel confident

I also found this blog which might give you ideas. I don't think your dress size is the issue, I think it's because you've lost a bit of confidence and I know from personal experience that dressing nicely for yourself can really help

And an article about how to wear a leather jacket with confidence here

Thanks everyone

Im thinking of one outfit could be: jeggings, burgundy ankle boots and a white jumper. With some chunky silver jewellery ?

Second outfit could be a black dress - ankle boots and black tights ?

Your latest outfit choice sounds great OP but you could certainly wear one of the M&S dresses I posted to first time round.

Try nobodies child dresses they do a curve section
Their dresses and cardigans with flat black ankle boots would look good I think www.nobodyschild.com/dresses/midi-dresses/curve-black-ditsy-heart-and-floral-izzy-midi-dress.html

There’s lots of good advice on this thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/style_and_beauty/4388783-Help-please-Turned-into-a-frump

@Gonnagetgoing

Your latest outfit choice sounds great OP but you could certainly wear one of the M&S dresses I posted to first time round.

I only saw the link to a blue one which looked lovely but out of stock in size 20

@dane8

Tu Sainsburys do a bike jacket (obviously not leather) in black and an olive colour only £35

This is a good price to try out a new style !