Give in to the grey, or go lighter?

[Impossiblecauses]

I used to have loads of nice dark hair. A baby, a bereavement, a pandemic, and chronic illnesses has left me with fragile whisps and the grey is noticeable. Do I give up and go grey? Or maybe highlights?

I've been going grey since 19 , I had a few tough years and then a child at 21 and it hasn't stopped.A hairdresser told me I was 100% grey at a colouring and to keep it light blonde (ash ) to blend it.so that's where I am , even the dye doesn't hide the white shades but it blends ... to me I look older and frumpier this colour , I always looked healthy in photos with my brunette dyed hair but I was doing my roots two weekly

I personally would color it but I think grey is v v aging in most cases. I don't care about looking young but I don't want to look older than I am. Some people look great (Christine Lagarde ) but I think they are the exception rather than the rule and you need great coloring/makeup to get away with it. When people post great photos of "grey" on here most of the time it doesn't look grey and they have great hair.
A friend of mine went grey (she is 50) and I asked my DD how old she thought she was and she said grannys age (who is 77!!)

I'm totally grey and really don't think it makes me look older, maybe I'm deluded but I'm 53 and think I look my age, not younger or older.
I agree with pp who said people have been conditioned for so long that grey hair has to = old.

@TertiusLydgate

I’d go lighter.

I have a couple of friends that have ditched the dye and gone grey. They both look older and washed out.

Every other woman over 45 has highlights and it shows. It doesn't make people look younger.

Also, ultimately what does it matter what age you look? I could look 42, but I am only 34, I don't really care how old I look

I have long hair, I went lighter and then grew it out, 2 yes later I have completely grey long hair and I live it.

By going lighter I could grow it out without it looking really obvious

I'm 50 and I've gone grey. I don't think it makes me look older but I'm very happy to look 50. I'm also happy to spend the hours I would have had to sit in the hairdresser's chair exercising and thinking about skin care, which I think makes more difference to me about how I feel about myself. But you should do what makes you feel good, and most people seem to have at least three goes at growing out the dye before they manage a complete transition. You shouldn't feel bad about any of it.

But I do get annoyed about people now wanting to look old as if this was a bad thing. So many people don't get to look old. We should celebrate and respect our age and our experience.

@Noeuf

Unfortunately DameMaureen I don’t understand whatever point/dig you’re attempting. Will assume you don’t like grey hair.

Great response 🙂 I don't think anyone understood her needless comment.

‘27/10/2021 13:04 Cocolapew

I'm totally grey and really don't think it makes me look older, maybe I'm deluded but I'm 53 and think I look my age, not younger or older.
I agree with pp who said people have been conditioned for so long that grey hair has to = old.‘

I think this - but I don’t think people generally look younger (if you look properly rather than using shorthand eg non grey = young) with dyed hair or Botox or filler etc.

pinkpanther yep, didn’t really follow the explanation either.

I'm 48 and embraced my silver 8 months ago, with some MN help.

Well, it's silver/white actually. I cut it short to help the grow out.

I love it. It's soft, shiny, great condition and I feel years younger, not walking around with greige hair! Liberating.