Give in to the grey, or go lighter?

[Impossiblecauses]

I used to have loads of nice dark hair. A baby, a bereavement, a pandemic, and chronic illnesses has left me with fragile whisps and the grey is noticeable. Do I give up and go grey? Or maybe highlights?

@Noeuf I dunno. I don't think people need to be brainwashed to associate grey hair with an older person. 🤷

@Invasionofthegutsnatchers

I've gone grey and I love it. My hair is so soft and in great condition now, it just shines! Saved loads of money too. I have grey highlights

I'm surprised at this. My grey hair is like wire!

My grey hair is soft too and thicker than when coloured

@maofteens

I started going grey at 17, and I'm not hip enough to carry off the grey thing, so am still colouring it four decades later. Unless you dress in either a hip, rock chick or sophisticated way I think it is just plain aging. I spied a woman with my kind of hair : wavy/curly in a choppy bob. All grey and she looked fabulous. She was trim and wearing a biker leather jacket and jeans. Women like Helen Mirren or Christine Lagarde can carry it off because they are always well groomed and well dressed. A friend went grey after her divorce - but she dressed in a dowdy mumsy way and instantly looked 15 years older.

If this is how you talk about your friends, god help your enemies.

I have spent the last few years gradually transitioning to my natural hair colour and allowing the grey to come through much to one sisters disgust as its aging apparently. I'm 45 and over the last 12 years I've had 4 dc, a couple of big bereavements and a divorce. My hairdresser suggested a half head of foils rather than an all over colour which worked really well and we decreased the foils very slowly. My hair is now all natural and it is 70% grey mixed in with dark blond and brown. I love it and have had so many compliments on it, infact I've only had one person dislike it and that's the one sister. As for hair care I use specific purple shampoo once a week and inbetween a shampoo and conditioner designed for older hair. My hair has never been in better condition.

Sorry @Luckytattie I know I’m a bit vehement about it. I’m not being to be rude.

Grey hair is not aging. Someone with dyed hair does not magically look 10yrs younger and if they think that, they are kidding themselves.

So many people go lighter, but just go with the grey x

So many people just look as though their hair is dyed: it doesn't miraculously make them look younger. I've been going grey since I was twenty. Decided to grow out the dye a few years ago and it's been liberating: no root growth within two weeks of colouring my hair, no time or money spent covering the grey. I'm greyer than my mother who's 30 years older than me.

No probs @Noeuf :)
I can see both sides and at the end of the day, it just boils down to what someone's personal preference is. No rights or wrongs really.

Letting your hair nzturally get grey always looks best.you can see dyed hair and 99%time it looks awful and it actually makes uou look older.I have had long chats with several hairdressers and they all told me, your natural haircolour always suits you best,because it goes with your skintone.It is a huge faff as well and not to think about all the shite chemicals.Go grey,you will look fabulous!

@WeAreTheHeroes

So many people just look as though their hair is dyed: it doesn't miraculously make them look younger. I've been going grey since I was twenty. Decided to grow out the dye a few years ago and it's been liberating: no root growth within two weeks of colouring my hair, no time or money spent covering the grey. I'm greyer than my mother who's 30 years older than me.

I'm a bit like that too with my dm, her hair was naturally darker but so liberating

@WeAreTheHeroes.totally agree.I dont know,why women think they look younger with dyed hair.its a myth and an expensive one too.

I have also been going grey since my teens and have given up dyeing it, (except temp pink or purple occasionally). It really is liberating. I don't think I look old - just different from people with dyed hair. I use Lush shampoo for grey hair, which lasts for ages and smells lovely. I make an.effort with clothes & jewellery (except when slobbing at home/wfh) and wear pinks/blues/turquoise, which look great and make me feel good. So I wouldn't go back to trying to recreate my old natural colour - it always did look fake.

[quote Andwander]@WeAreTheHeroes.totally agree.I dont know,why women think they look younger with dyed hair.its a myth and an expensive one too.[/quote]
Yes - I look at photos of me with dyed hair and it just doesn't like right, though I thought it did at the time.

Letting your hair nzturally get grey always looks best.you can see dyed hair and 99%time it looks awful and it actually makes uou look older.

That is just simply not true, funnily enough, it depends on the person. I know several people including myself who stopped dying their hair in March ‘20. Some of them look absolutely fantasist and better than when they had dyed hair. Others including myself, on the other hand did look much older and despite loving the fact I wasn’t having to go to the hairdryer every 6 weeks, I had it dyed again last month. My hairdresser put in some foils and then a colour wash, so the colour will fade naturally. I’m so pleased with it and look and feel so much better.

Yes - I look at photos of me with dyed hair and it just doesn't like right, though I thought it did at the time.

If you’d had a good hairdresser that would not have happened.

[quote Luckytattie]@Noeuf I dunno. I don't think people need to be brainwashed to associate grey hair with an older person. 🤷[/quote]
But so many women start going grey in their 20’s-30’s. So it’s not “old”, yet it seems to be perceived as.

@LizzieSiddal - if you feel better with your hair coloured then that's your prerogative. Fact is once you get above a certain percentage of grey then no matter how good the hairdresser and the colour it's never as good as your natural colour.

I did same as Phillipa12 , and stopped all over dyeing and just had highlights, letting plenty of natural through. Then in lockdown 1 (about 18 months since the last all over dye) I let the remaining highlights grow out - couldn't miss that opportunity although I had planned to keep the highlights for a few more years. I'm really happy with it and like PPs have soft hair, not really any different in texture to my younger dark brown hair. And I never have to worry about roots! I have changed my wardrobe now my hair is so much lighter though

I am a lockdown cliche as, like many women, I used the time to let my natural grey come through. I started finding grey hairs in my late teens and, at 54, am about 90 percent grey. My hair was naturally black and I had been dying it more of a sludge medium brown for a few years. It has taken a bit of getting used to, but I love being free of the whole cycle of covering my roots. I have some waves in my hair and have been following the Curly Girl regime with decent results. If people think I look older, fuck 'em. My face is the same face. I still have black eyebrows I intend to keep my hair shoulder length and wavy, as I don't suit short hair at all.

I really wish it wasn't such a big deal to have natural grey hair.

Have fun with colour - talk to your hairdresser and get them to suggest ideas. I have long blonde hair and have highlights. My hair is fabulous, soft and glossy at 49.

@Noeuf

Luckytattie - sadly most ‘beholders’ have been brainwashed by decades of conditioning into thinking women should avoid looking like their natural selves as far as possible. So, yes you may think it’s ageing but I think you are wrong. And trained to see grey = negative. Op - my highlights, when I have them, are always bleached first and then toned. My favourite rescue produce is either an AVEDA damage recovery (or something) or Olaplex - both are pricey but do seem to work.

Is it your turn this week?

[quote Andwander]@WeAreTheHeroes.totally agree.I dont know,why women think they look younger with dyed hair.its a myth and an expensive one too.[/quote]
You cannot say that all women with grey or dyed hair look older or younger - it is all very individual .

Unfortunately DameMaureen I don’t understand whatever point/dig you’re attempting. Will assume you don’t like grey hair.

The point DameMaureen is that covering naturally grey hair doesn't make a person look younger - they often just look as though they colour their hair and it doesn't change their face, etc.