Give in to the grey, or go lighter?

[Impossiblecauses]

I used to have loads of nice dark hair. A baby, a bereavement, a pandemic, and chronic illnesses has left me with fragile whisps and the grey is noticeable. Do I give up and go grey? Or maybe highlights?

The trick with going grey is to commit to it. Think about clothes and makeup particularly. Grey hair with red, pink, purple, emerald - jewel colours - looks fabulous, but not so much with beiges or creams.

What colours look good with grey hair also depends on skin tone though.

I went grey for a year, was 1 maybe 2 cuts away from being all grey but I just couldn't do it. I wish I could have but just didn't feel like 'me' and have now gone back to dark brown.
Think it really depends how your grey grows in but I would say give it a go. I'm glad I tried it and it's so so much easier than continually touching it up.

Forgot to say, I've actually gone lighter except for roots which are dark brown to make covering the grey easy.
I do agree all over block colour is not a good look and lighter is much more flattering as we get older.

I'm a lockdown cliche - my hair was last coloured two weeks before lockdown started, and I am now completely grey (shoulder length). I probably do look older, but I see it as now looking my age rather than colouring to look younger. I don't need to look younger, there's nothing wrong with the age that I am.

Fact is once you get above a certain percentage of grey then no matter how good the hairdresser and the colour it's never as good as your natural colour.

But it is not “fact”, it’s your opinion. Others opinion is that they look better with dyed hair. And the hairdresser does make a huge difference. Block colour all over a grey head if hair does not always look good. A mixture of colours along with some highlights or lowlights often looks fab. I could link numerous pictures of older women with dyed hair, who look amazing, they would not always look better with grey hair.

For me It's the upkeep though, it looks great for 3 weeks' then telltale routes and sometimes the colour goes brassy etc

If you have money and a personal stylist it works

@LizzieSiddal

Fact is once you get above a certain percentage of grey then no matter how good the hairdresser and the colour it's never as good as your natural colour.

But it is not “fact”, it’s your opinion. Others opinion is that they look better with dyed hair. And the hairdresser does make a huge difference. Block colour all over a grey head if hair does not always look good. A mixture of colours along with some highlights or lowlights often looks fab. I could link numerous pictures of older women with dyed hair, who look amazing, they would not always look better with grey hair.

And that's your opinion, not a fact!

I am 44 and stopped colouring my hair in Sept 2019. I had been growing grey for years but not in an even way, more like badger stripes on top & Cruella da Ville at the front. It took almost 2 years to the day for all the dye to grow out but I still had maybe an inch to two to go. It looked awful, the grey was wiry & dry, and it made me look so much older. I didn't want to go down the highlights/trying to make it lighter route as my natural colour is very dark & that wouldn't suit my skin tone.

Anyway long story short I went to the Toni & Guy salon in my town where the colour specialist told me about a new product by Wella called Silver Glow by True Grey. It is a treatment that blends in your grey so it is less noticable, especially during the regrowth. I was the guinea pig for them to try it on & I'm so glad I did! The feel & look/shine of my hair after was incredible. It's been 7 weeks now since I had it done & it still looks great. I will get it done again in about a month ready for trip away & Christmas. Would definitely recommend it.

[quote Luckytattie]@Noeuf I dunno. I don't think people need to be brainwashed to associate grey hair with an older person. 🤷[/quote]
Of course they are. Especially now so many young women are dying their hair grey. I guarantee that if I dyed my silver hair now it would probably make me look older.

@parkrunner1977 are you on the face book group Grombre EU/UK ? Some members have also taken part in a trial of it ?
I am almost grey completely at the front now. I like it and have changed my make up and colours accordingly. Initially it is a shock if you catch sight of yourself in the mirror but my face hasn't changed, I've no more wrinkles than with box dyed hair, I still dress reasonably fashionably. I do wear lipstick now however to brighten my face. All my friends have complimented me on it, even a friends 19 year old daughter.

@einekleinenachtarbeit I'm not on FB very much these days but I shall go & have a look at that group so thanks for that.

After 2 years of hard effort growing the dye out I didn't want to go back to colouring it dark again but wanted it to look nicer than it was. The Wella treatment was exactly what I needed so I'm very pleased I went for it :-)

And that's your opinion, not a fact!

I never said it was a fact! It’s silly arguing we just need to agree that some women look better with grey hair, whilst some women do not and as long as the woman is happy, it doesn’t really matter!

@WeAreTheHeroes

The point DameMaureen is that covering naturally grey hair doesn't make a person look younger - they often just look as though they colour their hair and it doesn't change their face, etc.

I think grey hair does change the appearance of some people's faces in the same way that any major change in hair colour would. The posters who have mentioned the need to change their make up and the colours of clothing they wear support that. I think some women look 'washed out' with grey hair and if they choose not to wear make up, this is extremely unflattering, particularly as features fade with age.

I think some people can carry off grey hair really, really well .
Others, including me, not so much. I have high and lowlights for interest and occasionally an all-over colour.
My mother's hair went white quite quickly so I'm hanging on a bit longer for the same to happen to me.

@LizzieSiddal

And that's your opinion, not a fact!

I never said it was a fact! It’s silly arguing we just need to agree that some women look better with grey hair, whilst some women do not and as long as the woman is happy, it doesn’t really matter!

Tbh you pissed me off when you were rude about my hairdresser.

@Noeuf

Unfortunately DameMaureen I don’t understand whatever point/dig you’re attempting. Will assume you don’t like grey hair.

My point is it might be your turn to remind us all on S and B that we are mindless fools who do things because of years of conditioning , patriarchal society , internalised mysogny blah blah ......as opposed to our choice .

Tbh you pissed me off when you were rude about my hairdresser.

I’ll be honest, you pissed me off when you were rude about anyone who has dyed hair. As we've pissed each other off, shall we call it quits and agree to differ

I’d go lighter.

I have a couple of friends that have ditched the dye and gone grey. They both look older and washed out.

@Chakraleaf

Grey hair is not aging. Someone with dyed hair does not magically look 10yrs younger and if they think that, they are kidding themselves.

So many people go lighter, but just go with the grey x

100% this.

All over dark dyed hair looks like Lego hair. It’s very obvious. It either looks like an unnatural extremely dark brown, or slightly lighter, but with a very orange undertone when any type of light hits it.

If you feel like you must try to disguise the greys, it’s far better to go lighter with highlights or balayage.

My hair is bra length and all my natural colour. It is a hundred different shades of grey and in good condition (according to my hairdresser). I don't think I look better with grey hair but I know I'd look worse with dyed block colour, which is what I used to do to my hair. Having said that I do look cracking when I have to make the effort and put my face on, that is when my natural hair really does suit me. So for me I think grey better.

I really don't want to spend 3 hours and £200 to get 'natural' highlights because that simply isn't me.

I think you just have to row your own boat and decide what works for you.

I think some folk commenting along the lines of "dyed hair can look fab, you just need a good hairdresser" need to consider just how much that costs and that actually there are huge numbers of people who can't afford to be at the hairdresser every 4 weeks to get their hair coloured by an in-demand expert who uses expensive products...

Most people aren't choosing between an outstandingly good salon job or grey hair, they're choosing between DIY/cheaper salon and grey hair.

I know you don’t want an all over colour but if it was me I’d have an all over brown colour and ask the hairdresser for the code of the colour and do your roots at home in between salon visits.
My friend who used to have dark hair went quite blond recently thinking/hoping it would be better for blending in with her grey but she looked really washed out. Obviously I didn’t say anything and then after a few months she asked me what I thought and I said I thought her old colour really suited her. She’s gone back to a similar shade to get old hair now.

I haven't dyed mine since Dec 19, yes there's more noticeable grey but I'm not far off 50 and I really can't be doing with all the chemicals needed to dye my hair

I'm a mouse brown and recently went blonde to help the greys blend in. Subject what the grey is like when there's more of it I'll stop colouring.