Too old to be goth or emo?

[MouldyMare]

Hi all, at what age should someone stop dressing gothic or emo?

I say both because I go between the styles. I’ve dressed alternative since about 12 years old and my partner says it’s time I started dressing more normal so I fit in with the other parents and stop listening to “awful music”. He’s also put a ban on me having any more tattoos (I don’t have many just half a sleeve and a chest tattoo) I’m 27 but look quite young (constantly get asked for ID etc) the place we live currently has a lot of alternative dressing people but soon be moving back to our home town where my partner refuses to go out of the house with me unless I’m dressed “normal” because it embarrasses him (my look isn’t over the top goth or emo, black skinny jeans or 50s style dresses in the summer). Is it finally time to hang up my Hell Bunny clothes and dreads?

If he doesn't even like you, why is he your partner?

You can dress however the fuck you want and listen to whatever you want. You're a grownup. Fuck him if he doesn't like it.

Is this the only thing he's a dick about? Somehow I doubt it.

The issue is your partner not your clothing style. They sound abusive. Kick them out so you have extra room in your closet for new goth and emo clothing 🖤

It’s time to kick your DP out.

Wear what you like. He is not the boss of you. And the fact that he is so conventional and so bothered about what people think is not very attractive.
I'd be quite sad if my partner did not like such an essential part of me and would be questioning our future.
Is he a lot older than you?

He doesn't sound great OP. Dress how you want to dress.

He sounds awful. He's ordering you to change your style to something he finds more acceptably mainstream? He's telling you to stop listening to the music you love? He's telling you he's embarrassed to be seen with you?

Why the fuck is he with you if he seemingly dislikes everything about you?

He will sap all the joy out of your life, OP.

Don’t change to please someone else. Time to ditch him and find someone who appreciates you just as you are.

I would leave the partner, not the style.

I am in my 40s, have a professional job (SLT in large secondary) and look like me, no-one else. No one will tell me how to look. I obviously look smart but can do that with piercings, tattoos, lots of black and 'strange' colours in my hair.

For what it's worth there's a woman who lives near me who must be in her mid 70s and she dresses in what I'd describe as a luxe-goth style. Think YSL with a gothic twist. She looks bloody amaaazing.

It's them not you wear what you like don't change for anybody.

Agree keep on being alternative and find a nice alternative partner who actually likes you.

By the way OP if it’s YOUR wish to update your style for a bit but want to keep dressing goth and emo, I recommend you to have a look at the Gothic Lolita style. Perhaps you’re already aware that this exists. It’s a bit less casual and great for dressing up for a bit even if you don’t go all out with the Victorian dresses.

He wants to control your body (your tattoos) and how you DRESS?

You shouldn't be asking if your're the problem - I promise you, the problem is very much him. He doesn't like you at all. You keep on being YOU, and find somebody who actually likes and respects you.

Well, I clicked onto this with interest as I am wondering the same thing. Although my question is more, "how can I still dress this way and look good as I get older."

I'm a lot older than you, and think your issue is with your partner not your style tbh. You're not even 30!

Never too old to dress how you like - and no one should ever be telling you how to dress!
Please ditch thjs tosser and find someone who loves you for who you are and doesn't try to change you.

Life is far too short to give a shit what others think and most of the time they’re too wrapped up in their own business they don’t think much at all.
It’s your partner that’s the problem.
You are who you are, don’t change for him.

@RiotAtTheRodeo @Whyarewehardofthinking @LaBellina

I would LOVE to see pics of all of these examples! @Whyarewehardofthinking what do you wear to work?

You dress however you like. If it was me i would dress more outlandish just to make a point.

I'm 33 and I wear printed leggings, fandom tshirts, hell bunny dresses when I go out. I even went out in an inflatable pikachu outfit for my daughters birthday. If I like something I will wear it! We have cosplay outfits, some I wear as everyday. Like my star trek uniform dress or spiderman one.

DH occasionally rolls his eyes but I'm who I've always been, I won't change for him, the same way i wouldn't expect him to change for me (even if I would like to burn the his awful huge jeans!!). Your DH needs to realise you are your own person and would he rather you were happy or pretended to be something you are not.

Get rid of your fella, not your clothes!
I'm 35 and I dress alternatively. Mostly it's 'acceptable' with off beat jewellery etc, but no one really cares.
I still dye my hair (split dye with bleach and whatever colour underneath), I work in a nursery and nobody minds. In fact, I work with a woman who has just had her first sleeve done at 41.

No chance, I'm 32 and I had green hair last week, red this week, who knows what colour next week. If DH told me to be more normal, I'd tell him where to go.
Saying that, he's a longhaired bearded fella who wouldn't look out of place on Vikings. Maybe you need one of those instead

Wow thank you for all the replies! He is quite controlling, which is why my replies might be a bit slow. Not really allowed to use social media, think he would class mumsnet as that.

@ALooseSeal

Et voila

www.devilinspired.com/elegant-gothic-lolita

lolitafashion.fandom.com/wiki/Gothic_Lolita

If you search #gothiclolita on Instagram you find 461000 posts

@MouldyMare oh sweetheart. Get out now while you can

@MouldyMare

Wow thank you for all the replies! He is quite controlling, which is why my replies might be a bit slow. Not really allowed to use social media, think he would class mumsnet as that.

This is coercive control.

Get yourself away from this man.

When you get a private 10 minutes Mouldy start a thread in relationships.
There are legions of very wise women who will help you work out what a catch you've got.