Why doesn't anyone tell you Menopause isn't really about lack of periods

[MrsPelligrinoPetrichor]

...and EVERYTHING about how-

• make up you have been wearing for years suddenly looks shit

• Hair that has been behaving itself quite nicely with certain products nit require completely different products but you are yet to find them!

• Skin seems to be a completely different colour now and requires new products

• See above for hair colour

• Watery eyes that the optician says is normal and common in women over 50

• Glasses for reading !

Omg no wonder they call it the change ,everything flipping changes!

@juicy0

So pleased to have read this thread! I'm 44 and for the last 3 months I've woken up with really watery gluey eyes which I initially put down to hay fever or a change of skincare products but now, along with other symptoms I'm wondering if I'm peri menopausal? Whilst my periods are still fairly normal I've noticed my hormone levels are really affecting me throughout my cycle. I've never suffered with pmt but now I'm conscious of real mood swings and, even worse than that, terrible anxiety and feeling low and worthless. It's a terrible feeling but it's temporary and I notice it affects me at the same point in my cycle and then I'm okay again. Anyone else have similar feelings?

I too had terrible anxiety through the perimenopause, thankfully this has eased as I reached full menopause. I was prescribed Venlaflaxine at a very low dose, which definitely helped me through the anxiety and mood swings during that time..

Just been told today she will prescribe some oestrogen pessaries. That should make my vagina happy again. Just adjusting to the fact I apparently have an unhappy vagina! Atrophy sucks.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Has anyone mentioned vaginal atrophy and loss of libido?

My poor Jack and Danny used to be so stylish and beautiful I'm on the point of seeing the GP for some cream.

I read loss of libido as a symptom again and again but I am very keen on continuing relations frequently but my husband is not interested, it’s very frustrating!

I had an early menopause and it has destroyed me. I’m on HRT now but only because I was on the verge of a breakdown was I given it...I’ve had so many symptoms am not the same person anymore. The list is endless I’d do anything to still be having periods as this has been hell on earth

Your poor thing,sounds hellish

My whole body has changed in small ways but it makes a HUGE difference to both visually and in terms of comfort. It feels like my skin was put through a hot wash and no longer quite fits. My neck and shoulder muscles have shrunk but my bust is bigger. Not sexy bigger, more like Great Aunt Margaret bigger. Much bigger than they ever were in my fertile days.
As a result clothes do not "suit" me any more. T shirts look terrible, really terrible. But what can I wear that will not suffocate me? I have no idea how to dress this woman before me. When I catch an enexpected sight of myself (in a shop window or some such) I wonder who is that and realise it is me!

I also suffer from almost everything everyone has said.
Did anyone get obsessed with a dire future? The worry about money/ what would happen the children if we die/ etc?

@CanIPleaseHaveOne I’m with you, I don’t recognise myself these days...
@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor thanks it’s hard to deal with like my life before this has gone ...am floored and on AD’s now too

@ilovebrie8

I had an early menopause and it has destroyed me. I’m on HRT now but only because I was on the verge of a breakdown was I given it...I’ve had so many symptoms am not the same person anymore. The list is endless I’d do anything to still be having periods as this has been hell on earth

I don't think I have gone through it yet. Still getting the occasional spot of blood, plus "The Blues". My hair is very bad though - I used to have greasy hair but it now snaps off (though I have been using hair masks so might be better. The hairdresser was shocked. Luckily it was very thick before hand). My skin has changed too but I am not sure what is peri menopause and what is various medications. I don't think I had much of a waist anyway.

I think I can tick all the perimenopause symptoms listed here except watery eyes. Mirena and HRT sorted out many of the difficult symtoms like flushes, fog, anxiety and lack of libido.

Like PandoraP, I've found Kevin Murphy, specifically the plumping ones, shampoo and conditioner have made a massive difference to my thin hair. Even the hairdresser commented about how thick it was and how the condition was great last time. I spent a bloody fortune on all sorts of skincare to fix dry, tight, sensitive skin. Tropic Skincare's Elixir oil was the eventual answer, it's phenomemal. And cheap as chips castor oil has really boosted my eyebrows. I too rattle with supplements: fish oil, broad spec vitamin, fibre and probiotic.

Still can't get to grips with the weight gain round the middle though. Tried all sorts of plans and macro balances, pounded the gym and exercise, might lose a couple of pound over a month of hard effort, only to gain it back over a weekend where I dare to eat normally. It's infuriating. About to try low carb again to shift some holiday weight, but not expecting much success.

Great thread! I had no idea watery eyes were down to the menopause. They're so bad, my makeup won't stay on and have no idea how to stop it. Some great ideas here, thanks to everyone who has shared their experiences and products.

Watery eyes are often, ironically, dry eyes. Warm compresses help (think a PP mentioned an eyebag) as they unblock the meibomian glands.

Fed up with lack of sex life. No interest at all. Have doubts about having HRT due to having had breast cancer.

@CanIPleaseHaveOne

My whole body has changed in small ways but it makes a HUGE difference to both visually and in terms of comfort. It feels like my skin was put through a hot wash and no longer quite fits. My neck and shoulder muscles have shrunk but my bust is bigger. Not sexy bigger, more like Great Aunt Margaret bigger. Much bigger than they ever were in my fertile days. As a result clothes do not "suit" me any more. T shirts look terrible, really terrible. But what can I wear that will not suffocate me? I have no idea how to dress this woman before me. When I catch an enexpected sight of myself (in a shop window or some such) I wonder who is that and realise it is me! I also suffer from almost everything everyone has said. Did anyone get obsessed with a dire future? The worry about money/ what would happen the children if we die/ etc?

The last bit could be anxiety.

I recommend V neck tees for the boobies. And check your bra size to ensure its correct.

@ChaToilLeam

It’s the night sweats leading to lack of sleep that are doing my head in. I look tired all the time because I wake up 4-5 times in a night. Hair is actually great now I’ve stopped colouring it, and skin is better without hormonal spots.

Try melatonin, absolute game changer

lack of sleep
dry nails/skin/itchy skin
lack of energy
seeing a doctor for bloods and hopefully hrt as need my mojo back

I also worry about if something happened to me what would happen to my son..worrying is a bit thing and feeling anxious about things all part of peri meno

@RonaldMcDonald how do you get melatonin?

The worst symptoms for me are the insomnia, joint pain, the awful sweats and the mood changes. I feel like I don’t recognize myself sometimes😢

I was struggling with my weight anyway but have definitely got a lot thicker around the middle and it won’t bloody shift.

Periods aren’t an issue, had a hysterectomy at 31 so haven’t had them for years anyway.

Sore gums
Digestive issues
Aching joints
Aching muscles
Very sore dry nose
Lack of sleep
Moodiness
Premenstural for 3 weeks with VERY SORE BREASTS
Exhausted
Forgetful
Dry hair
Weight gain
Thick middle (i look pregnant)

I'm 45, still have regular periods & when I asked my GP about trying HRT to see if it would help she completely put me off! Am going to go back this month & try again.

FML.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Currently finding it hard to find a very light conditioner , everything seems too heavy. Any suggestions?

Simple.

@MrsPelligrinoPetrichor

Currently finding it hard to find a very light conditioner , everything seems too heavy. Any suggestions?

Giovanni leave-in conditioner is quite light . Just apply a tiny amount on damp hair.

I found the best hair treatment. I’ll get totally shot down here because anything sold by reps is a massive no no, but Tropic hair cleanser is fabulous. It’s oil based , non foaming and makes your hair feel lovely. It takes a couple of weeks to adjust to it but I can go 3 days without washing my hair now. If I go back to regular shampoo I have to wash every day.
You can order directly from the website.

For me, it was the fact that I no longer have PCOS, so no more greasy hair and skin, no spots no hair where I didn't want. Yes really, the superfluous hair vanished! I think it is different for everyone, I don't really have hot flushes, but my friend is like a beetroot.

@LoislovesStewie

For me, it was the fact that I no longer have PCOS, so no more greasy hair and skin, no spots no hair where I didn't want. Yes really, the superfluous hair vanished! I think it is different for everyone, I don't really have hot flushes, but my friend is like a beetroot.

I didn't know this! So PCOS stops after the menopause?