Having a clear out and feel really ashamed

[Wavypurple]

I’m clearing out my wardrobe today. I feel like such an idiot and can’t believe how much I’m putting in bags to give away.

Some of these clothes I’ve never even worn because I wasn’t even sure I like them at the time?! So why did I buy them?!

Some I only purchased around a year ago and have never seen the light of day.

The amount of wasted money isn’t even my main worry (even though it should be. I don’t have any dependents but I don’t earn a massive amount at all). It’s the absolute waste of labour, fabric and resources that have gone into making these clothes.

I’ve filled up four bin bags so far. Called the local save the children charity shop and they sounded delighted at the prospect of the stock but I know that some donated clothes are sent to landfill (not blaming the charities, I understand they can’t sell everything).

From today no more shopping, online or otherwise unless something absolutely needs replacing or I am 1000% sure it will be used. I think my issue is that I’ve purchased for trends that pass so quickly now anyway.

Not really sure of the point of this post. Just can’t believe how wasteful I’ve been.

Well done for realising it and vowing no more!

Totally agree, at least you've realised now! That's the main thing

I know what you mean, OP. If it's any consolation, I feel this way often when I peer into my wardrobe! I have so many items I didn't return because "maybe I'll find the right belt/necklace/shoes to go with this dress someday" and "maybe I'll be OK wearing these occasionally even though the waistband digs in" and it's all such bollocks because especially since the first lockdown I revert back to wearing my favourite 20% of my clothes about 95% of the time.

I've done this in the past, so I really sympathise with the feeling you're having right now. I've given away hundreds of pounds worth of clothes. Have decided that next year I'm not going to buy anything new - if I need something, I'm going to get it second hand. Will make me more mindful of the things I do own!

I've been there. I think many of us have.

I changed my ways after reading Marie Kondo and I'm now much more thoughtful about what I buy.

All the best with changing your habits.

Try not to feel too bad - by donating rather than binning your clothes aren't going to be wasted, other people will get to wear them and get joy from getting a bargain. Charity shops will be able to sell clothes in good condition and especially those with tags. They can't sell ripped, stained or severely damaged items so those are set aside and a lot of shops have contracts with a "rag man" outfit so they sell these items for a few pence per kilo to be recycled, so the charity could still benefit.

Thank you all so much for your replies. I do feel so much better now for looking in the wardrobe and knowing I genuinely do like everything in there and knowing 100% it will be used.

Also agree that I’m very glad I’ve realised now that I clearly had a shopping issue and can start shopping mindfully.

The charity shops probably sell the surplus as rags.
Yours don't sound like they won't sell.

If they make a profit from each item and add it up, you will have given them a decent amount of money, so well done you.

Marie Kondo says that these things teach us a lesson about what we don't like and that as the money is already spent we won't get it back by holding onto things so it's far better to let them go and, as you are going to do, only buy what we will definitely use in future.

It may be easier said than done though especially when buying online!

at least you have recognised it op, many people don't have the self awareness to even notice or care about the wastage that they're creating. Now you've caught sight of the problem you can address it in future by only buying what you really really love and know you will wear. And you can enjoy your new decluttered closet!!

I have had similar experience. I've given lots away to charity and determined to be more careful about how and what I spend my money on.

Don't be too hard on yourself though - this past 18 months has been so tough, so if, like me, you bought a few extra things that turn not to work out, it's completely understandable.

Me too i have 3 bags to take to the charity shop, I must admit these last two covid years has made me realise I don't need so much, I have brought half the amount I usually buy, I will carry this on hopefully, I stopped buying fast fashion mostly, and trying to buy less but better, still like the odd item from h&m, this year only brought two summer cotton tops from there so far, when I look at the things I am parting with, its mostly cheap fash fashion stuff.

I've done that. I find it very difficult to resist a "bargain" even if I am unlikely to wear whatever it is. My worst crimes have been to stock up on bargains which don't even fit, on the basis that I plan to slim into them. Amazingly enough I have slimmed into some of them, but then found I don't like them. I am really trying to resist this tendency now. Although I have forgiven myself for the clothes I bought in late 2019 for the holidays that then never happened.

I think many of us have wardrobes like this. For me it’s from buying clothes in sales because “it’s a bargain” and then realising it’s something I will never wear. I have now stopped buying clothes in sales and am trying to just buy things that will get worn often (things I really like). I still have way too much in my wardrobe 😬

Well at least you’ve seen the light now!

I did a big clear out a while ago after being in a similar position. I actually sold mine on eBay and made decent money. I reinvested it in buying good, well-made, ethical pieces where possible and it’s worked better for me. It almost meant I knew that the clothes I sold were going to someone who wanted and would wear them. Some only went for a couple of quid but I felt like they’d been considered and chosen by a buyer and it made me feel like they were going to worthy homes rather than potentially being discarded by charity shops. It’s what I told myself anyway!

Might sound a bit of a cop out but the shops and fashion industry are very clever at manipulating us to buy new things. You might find yourself still tempted, but it’s like that phrase about recycling ‘we don’t need a handful of people doing zero waste perfectly, we need millions doing it imperfectly’.

I'm sooo guilty of that too @Lovemusic33 - buying loads in sales but I don't always love what I'm buying!

I want to stop buying as much and to spend more on things that I'll definitely wear. I've started to watch Instagram and YouTube videos about creating a capsule wardrobe which helps to work out what I actually need.

Much as it's hard not to beat yourself up over unworn items in the wardrobe, I agree it's good to have a wake up call and consider our spending habits!

Well done OP. I think most of us are guilty of doing the same at some stage. I am in the process of re-organising my clothes, and although I have been getting some new ones I now only buy things which will last, and which I know I will enjoy wearing for a long time, and hopefully I will also only buy replacements in future. I have spent so much (in the past) on clothes I never wore that it makes me ashamed too.

I've recently had a clear out too, mainly because a charity bag landed through my letterbox and it seemed a good time. Your local shop will be happy with anything they can sell. Thrifting is huge at the moment thanks to YouTube and TikTok. My dds and I recently had a thrifting day, got lots of bargains with the money going to several charities, and honestly, every shop we went in was busy. And as
Pp have said, anything not in a sellable condition usually gets sold on for rags.

I recon I could easily get the same out of my wardrobe op. In fact it badly needs doing! My issue is that my local charity shops have signs in the windows to say that they're not accepting any more donations so I'm not sure what to do with it all

I have had the same experience. I have stopped shopping online (which basically means all shopping atm) and am so relieved to be free of the endless cycle of returning parcels.

I've also eBayed a fair bit which feels really good.

I feel like the scales have fallen from my eyes and I don't want to contribute to such a wasteful, environmentally damaging cycle anymore

Change your ways and think of all the people you will be helping with your donations

Just four bin bags? I went through an unhappy few years, and bought an awful lot of clothes - and with growing kids' old clothes too I regularly have a bagful for those charities which deliver bags and collect (about once every three weeks round my way). Also donate to local charity shops.

It took a lot of effort (mentally) as most of the clothes meant something to me, but - best rid. Clothing for the past that has gone, or the future that won't happen (smart work clothes, duh)

I had this feeling when I did a stocktake of my beauty type stuff. I had so, so much. Just as an example, I calculated that I had four years worth of body cream, and that was assuming I moisturise my whole body three times a week for four years (which of course I’m not going to stick to).

To make sure I started using what I had, I made lists of what I had in different categories eg cleansers, body wash, night cream etc. And then I have used targets of what to use up every month. In a year, I used up 110+ things (obviously not all full size, some were sachets, some were deluxe samples etc).

This is my third year of doing this, and my stash has reduced loads (much more space in the bathroom!) and I don’t feel guilty anymore. I’ve realised what I like and don’t waste money on anything else. I’ve noted my holy grail product and my budget product (these are sometimes the same) within each category.

Would doing something similar with your clothes work? So that you wear what you have?