Having a clear out and feel really ashamed

[Wavypurple]

I’m clearing out my wardrobe today. I feel like such an idiot and can’t believe how much I’m putting in bags to give away.

Some of these clothes I’ve never even worn because I wasn’t even sure I like them at the time?! So why did I buy them?!

Some I only purchased around a year ago and have never seen the light of day.

The amount of wasted money isn’t even my main worry (even though it should be. I don’t have any dependents but I don’t earn a massive amount at all). It’s the absolute waste of labour, fabric and resources that have gone into making these clothes.

I’ve filled up four bin bags so far. Called the local save the children charity shop and they sounded delighted at the prospect of the stock but I know that some donated clothes are sent to landfill (not blaming the charities, I understand they can’t sell everything).

From today no more shopping, online or otherwise unless something absolutely needs replacing or I am 1000% sure it will be used. I think my issue is that I’ve purchased for trends that pass so quickly now anyway.

Not really sure of the point of this post. Just can’t believe how wasteful I’ve been.

I volunteer in a charity shop and I can assure you that new clothes won’t go to landfill.
A lot of things we get are really tatty so any new stuff put out goes straight away.
If it is high end brands eg Reiss rather than M and S it goes to be listed on eBay as the charity makes more money that way.

Don’t feel guilty about things you haven’t worn this year, though, OP. There have been so few opportunities to dress up or even just go outside or visit people.

Our Heart Foundation sells clothing thats been donated + some got price tags on so I would take to them instead as presume they don't send to the landfil. Or seek out ( through local council ) a women's refuge who would be. But our wardrobes nearly ful Up so only buy what's absolutely necessary.

I had the hoard of beauty stuff. I put a stop on buying it, gave some of the unused nice stuff away as gifts.

A lot of it was stuff bought because 'I wanted to buy something' or 'treats', and I am working my way through it. Some of it had gone off by the time I got to it. I'm learning what I would buy again, and what I use up quickly.

Well done, you are doing the right thing and thinking about changing - no shame in that - but maybe you have a bit of a shopping 'addiction' that you might talk to someone about - I know because I used to be the same when I earned good money, shopping was my entertainment and my way of making myself feel good - but I had to unlearn this when I no longer earned, so I spent time figuring out what it was that I really wanted, when I was feeling down, bored, lonely etc etc - still like looking round shops but have learned the lesson that the things I used to buy didn't do what I wanted from them, and I was left feeling guilty

For many reasons I’ve spent most of the school holiday at home, so have had a massive declutter. It’s been embarrassing and horrifying in equal measures.

I’ve filled the car up and taken it to the recycling centre about 8 times, sold several items, taken clothes to charity shops and put collections of shower gel, soap etc in baskets so I use them rather than buy new.

The house looks so much better. Easier to keep tidy and clean. I’m sleeping better as my room feels calmer somehow.

My aim is to buy far, far less in future. S&B doesn’t help though- I currently really want a pair of mucky boots to walk my new dog in this winter!

@tiredanddangerous 2 options:

Organise a Swish (gathering of women to exchange clothes - have had lots I love from these and enjoyed time with friends and their friends).

We only have 1 rule: not to diss your body or other people's bodies.

Its like the best kind of free shopping but with funny tales, wine and free advice about whether things really suit. We also do books and bags, scarves etc. There's often a prize for most random item.

Freegle: I have given away lots of clothes here and people are really chuffed with things - it can cheer someone's day up no end to have a bag of 'new' clothes. It has good community spirit.

Ditto for FB Marketplace or similar where you can sell or gift stuff.

Same here OP, don't feel bad. I've recently been going through my wardrobe. It's a nightmare. Main problem is weight/size/shape fluctuations - pre-pregnancy, post-pregnancy, lockdown weight gain etc etc. Lots of clothes still with labels on. Had a good clear-out.

I'd forgotten about freegle! Thanks @KisstheTeapot14

@tiredanddangerous You're most welcome.

I bloody love Freegle. Have lots of stuff posted on there just now after a de-clutter in DS's room..ready to move on for another child to enjoy.

Happy Days.

Am sure others will now benefit for your donations and often it’s only when we see a big amount that things register fully. For a wee while now, if I buy something I hang it outside my wardrobe and if it’s not worn within 4 weeks it gets taken back for a refund, it’s really helped me. But totally agree with your points.

Try Vinted to sell on decent stuff.

Just try not to buy more than you sell

I think many of us have done it, OP. I am guilty of the same. I had very few clothes and shoes as a youngster and started making up for it from my first pay packet onwards. Hard to get out of the mindset, especially if you love a sale bargain! Lockdown has shown me how much I actually wear and I've done quite a lot of charity bags...

Well done for taking yourself in hand, and doing something about it.
One of the things that made me so sad this year (very minor in the light of so many world events) was the queues forming for cheap tat shops (like Primark) when non essential shops were allowed to open. I can understand wanting to go shopping (although I don't like it) but the amount of money spent on 'stuff' just to get the vicarious high for getting something new. Where I live there is great excitement at the prospect of a new Primark opening in a retail park, dislodging a small, local but well established business. As if we haven't got enough tat here already!

I currently have 18 black bags filled with clothes,shoes,books and other bits
We’ve just not had time to take it all to the charity shops-the rule is I buy from one but donate to another
I don’t feel too bad as I buy second hand 95% of the time but I do feel a bit sick at the money I’ve wasted
(I’ve put on a bit of weight so I don’t fit into most of the clothing)

For people struggling with charity shops not taking stuff or a lot to go, quite a few will collect - British Heart Foundation, TRAID, etc

Also I second Freegle, Freecycle, Trash Nothing, I rarely don't find that things go on a few days and people are usually so happy with them!

I think this sort of event focusses the mind for the future.
I wasted money when younger and vowed never again. It's all the associated hassle of getting rid too.
It's a turning point op and that's great.

I stopped buying things just because they were good quality and in a sale. Now it has to be something I really need and in the right colour and cut. If it's not looking better on than what I have already I'm not buying.

I'm currently mulling over hiring a dress for an unusual one off event. Not sure, otherwise I'll buy rewearable black separates and throw on all available jewellery!

Don't feel too bad about this. The main thing is you have recognised it. A wee while back I absolutely gutted my wardrobe ,but in the main it was because clothes didn't fit me. I now have a more manageable wardrobe. I do go through shoes and trousers quite quickly. I just buy those when needed, replacements for winter etc. You have been proactive and the charity shop will sell or recycle the clothing.

I'm listening to Lauren Bravo's How To Break Up with fast Fashion right now and looking at my clothes and feeling determined to buy less from now on. It's hard though. I want to look contemporary. I need a look that side steps fashion.

I did this a while ago and felt really guilty. But my mum has a friend who works with disadvantaged teens for a charity and she took loads of stuff to give to them as I'm quite petite. So I felt a bit better knowing that my never worn topshop haul would be making someone else's day.

@Lovemusic33

I think many of us have wardrobes like this. For me it’s from buying clothes in sales because “it’s a bargain” and then realising it’s something I will never wear. I have now stopped buying clothes in sales and am trying to just buy things that will get worn often (things I really like). I still have way too much in my wardrobe 😬

Absolutely. I’ve often bought because, ‘it’s down to £10,’ rather than because I’ve loved it.

I have decided to buy no new clothes for a year. I can't stop buying clothes wearing them once and deciding I don't like them. No more! I have donated all the clothes I know I won't wear and will attempt to not buy any clothes for a year. I have also donated all the shoes I like but hurt my feet. I have enough shoes and boots to keep me going for the next year too. Whether I make it or not who knows :)

In the audible im listening to, she quoted caitlin moran who said "when a woman says ive nothing to wear!, she means "ive nothing to wear for who im supposed to be today!" and that really resonated with me. I have an old fear of not having the right clothes for the right thing. I never go anywhere id need to be particularly dressed up for but it sometimes panics me a bit, ive been in the same job 5 years and ive nothing to wear to an interview.