Double chin woes (with photos)

[DoubleChinWoes]

I'm completely depressed about my double chin and chubby face. Whatever I weigh, it doesn't change my face at all. I have no cheekbones and multiple chins.

My friends wedding photos came back today and every single photo of me is ruined by my chins and face. It makes me feel so low.

My side profile is awful, because I have a receding chin and no jaw. My dentist has commented on my jaw, saying I could get it broken and reset but I would need to have my jaw wired shut for weeks and eat through a straw. Hardly practical.

My BMI is within a healthy range (just) but my face just constantly looks awful because it's so chubby. the photos look like someone much heavier than me I think. I don't look like a healthy BMI when you just see my face.

I have had to delete Instagram and Facebook because I obsessively look at plastic surgery accounts and research people who had their profile changed with liposuction and chin implants or fillers. I'm generally anti surgery and wouldn't have the money anyway.

I try to convince myself it doesn't matter. I have good skin, people say I'm a laugh and nice, I have a husband who says I'm gorgeous and kids that appear to adore me (they are 1.5 and 3yrs old so don't know I'm ugly yet).

I have been working from home in a new job since the lockdown first happened so not met anyone in real life. I'm horribly anxious to meet people as I've tried to angle my camera to not show it so obviously.

It's getting worse as I get older (I'm 35) and soon, I'll have saggy skin there too and will end up looking like Kathy Burke. Who I love! She's amazing. But I don't want to look like her, which is probably horrible and vain.

If I can't afford fat freezing, lipo, filler or chin implants, and who knows if these would even help, and losing weight makes no difference my only hope is to start not caring I think.

What am I posting for? I have no idea. Is there something else that can be done? Or do I need to save money for procedures, or let my obsession go somehow?

If you recognise me, please don't tell me or mention it to me in RL. I'm horribly embarrassed.

[Note from MNHQ: we've agreed to remove the pics for the OP, a year or two down the line]

I think you're very pretty OP, but I know what you mean about obsessing, I have a big nose and I spend so much time obsessing over it, I'm always behind the camera instead of in photos, which is fine to an extent because I like taking pictures but it would be nice to have a couple with my children and not feel embarrassed.

OP you are a really lovely looking woman. I’m sad for you that you don’t realise it.

I don’t have a great profile but I know I am generally ok… a nose job might improve it but honestly, at this point in my life I know deep down that if I fix it I will just find some other “problem” to focus on. I’m aiming for self-acceptance

Actually op I honestly think you're pretty. I wish I had photos like yours - I have a horrible, round moon face and when I smile I look horrific, all tiny thin lipped Joker-mouth and squinty looking eyes (I blink a lot and find daylight quite bright). I never smile widely in photos, and actively avoid them wherever humanely possibly, but my brother's wedding is coming up and I'm dreading the photos. No matter what, no matter how, I look horrific in photos compared with everyone else.

If I hadn't read your post and had just seen your photos I would not even have noticed your supposed flaw.
You are truly beautiful and have such a warm smile which makes your eyes sparkle.
I would LOVE to look like you!

@YouJustDoYou, before this thread I would have thought you were just being honest like I thought I was, but I do think there is merit in how we focus on what seems like imperfections to us but it appears (really weirdly) no-one else seems to notice them. I honestly think it's not as bad as you say now having had this thread be overwhelming positive about what others see

Merit in the idea*

Sorry that sentence didn't make much sense.

Also, for everyone who has taken the time to write a comment to try and help convince me this is partially in my head, thank you. I think we can all agree there is a problem to fix, but it appears the severity of that problem isn't as bad as I can see myself.

The wattle comment was one of those light hearted things between family members - I take the mick out of myself to try and get in first and prove to people I know what I look like so their judgements can't hurt me - but I think that years of those minor "jokey" things hasn't helped. My parents often made barbed comments about me and my sister's weight, as did wider family like my grandad, and we have fairly terrible relationships with food now as a result so it must impact me.

My parents often made barbed comments about me and my sister's weight, as did wider family like my grandad, and we have fairly terrible relationships with food now as a result so it must impact me.

I'm sorry OP. This combined with the 'lighthearted' wattle comments have almost certainly contributed to a poor image of yourself which isn't real

I think as your dentist has mentioned the chin issue, it's with a a further discussion on medical grounds. But I would be weighing up the benefits here - is it really medically warranted? Take advice from the specialist you'll be referred to. Cosmetically I'd proceed v cautiously as you are so beautiful now.

@ElliePhillips

OP I had the jaw surgery two years ago and it was the best decision for me.

Not the same situation as you, I had an open bite and prominent overbite. Eating through a straw for weeks was tedious but had some benefits- I lost weight! And I absolutely LOVE my new profile and feel much happier.

My orthodontist referred me to a specialist maxillofacial surgeon. I think that might be who you should speak to, not just a dentist.

Ask if you have any questions about my surgery. Life is too short to be unhappy about something which could be fixed (you are very cute and pretty though). Best of luck!

Yes! If you are even considering this you want to talk to a Maxfac specialist who can advise.

I agree with the PP who said it's a serious surgery and it's easy to sign up when you're single / no dependents but completely different when you're not at that stage. I had it done in my early 20s and coincidentally a lovely mum friend I now know did too!

Good luck whatever you decide.

Poor you op.
My friend had her jaw broken and as she was pg, they deliberately waited until her son had been born to do it. I don't think it's as bad these days as you might think.

But you also have to accept yourself. we all have bad bits - I have hooded eyes and cankles from hell. we all have shit bits!

I'm so shocked by some of the responses on this thread. You are beautiful. It's not an issue or a shit part of you. It is you and why put yourself through unnecessary dangerous surgery. I'm not minimising how it makes you feel though as that's not fair of me. I would say though working on accepting yourself is more of a priority than fixing something that doesn't need changing. I'm staggered people on here are colluding with this idea that you need to change a part of yourself so drastically when there is no clinical need.

Anyway you're gorgeous and have such a sunny and warm face. I wish you could see what we all see.

Also you do have lovely teeth. That is more noticeable than your chin.

Please don't have your jaw actually broken!

The thing with cosmetic surgery is that it probably won't be "as bad" afterwards, but it definitely won't be "perfect". And plus you're likely to have some scarring, and sometimes surgery just looks weird in a way you can't put your finger on.

I think this whole chin thing is actually a bigger issue for you because you're basically very pretty- lovely hair and skin, nice features etc etc. If you were generally a bit uglier, then I don't think you would be fixating on it.

(but in the interests of full disclosure, I do spend too much time online myself researching eyelid surgery. I mean seriously, EYELID?!!! So basically, we're all just vain, deluded, unrealistic narcissists at heart 🤷‍♀️)

Oh gosh you are so lovely and you don't know it. Anyone looking at you is drawn to your smiling eyes.

The surgery sounds really harsh.

Would you consider facial exercise? ? I use the Faceworks App and books from Amazon - one of the books (the second one) has some concentrated exercises for defining the jaw area. It's hard work and you have to keep it up, like any regime.

I could have written your post. Firstly I think you're very brave for posting photos and asking asking about it.

My story is the same as yours. I had crooked teeth that I was very self conscious about along with an over jet. I always thought that was the problem. I finally plucked up the courage to have braces in my 30's and discovered that I had the same jaw issue as you. I went ahead and got my teeth straightened which helped my confidence hugely but after a couple of years my self consciousness switched to my receding jaw.

I'm 40 now and I just can't go through with the major jaw surgery but I hate the way I look. If I'm straight on and smiling i do look fine but any time a photo is taken of me side profile or without my smiling for it I think I look just awful

For what it's worth, your photos are absolutely beautiful and show an attractive, happy, confident woman but I know where your heads at.

I know two people who had the surgery to fix the receding jaw (overbite) issue. Neither found it particularly traumatic but it does make a dramatic difference to appearance, however with one I preferred her look beforehand
I too think you look gorgeous, beautiful hair, skin and very youthful. It really will change your appearance (you get a more square facial appearance) so you want to be really really sure as there is no going back

I think you look beautiful - I absolutely would not have guessed you were 35 - I would have put you at 28/29. You have a lovely smile and kind, sparkly eyes. I do see what you mean about your chin, but there's nothing out of the ordinary about it - it's not like I would look at you and think "what is going on with her jaw line?" which I think is what you imagine people are thinking. I, like many other posters, would not have registered it without you pointing it out.

Please be kinder to yourself and ask your family (kindly) to stop the jokes about it. It's also not good for any children to overhear 'jokes' being made about anyone's appearance as it may lead to insecurities in them in the future. Take care!

you have such a cute and pretty face OP that I can assure you that most people would not even notice, or certainly not think anything negative.
Id be interested if you did get one of those treatments though, as I sometimes toy with the idea of getting my chin done

You look bloody gorgeous

You gotta quit with the self hatred. You genuinely look fantastic.

I always think of Jennifer Grey when thinking about doing face changing surgery. She was so beautiful with her imperfect nose....the surgery changed her to perfect...and it wasn't quite the same.

I have a vaguely similar 'issue' to you which I think about a bit more frequently as I get older too.

But, really truly, I wouldn't have thought anything about your picture except that you are pretty and look much younger than you apparently are.

Which has made me think that other people might well not notice my hang-ups when they look at a photo of me!

Jaw surgery is just such an extreme thing to do to yourself for purely cosmetic reasons. You have children. Is that really a risk you want to take? Is the message you want to give them that you should undergo brutal surgery in order to fit with your idea of what other people's ideas of beauty are?

I don't mean to lay on the guilt but I think it might be time to get angry with a world that has made you feel this way about your healthy body rather than upset with yourself for the (lovely) way you look.

I read somewhere that "in a world that profits from your self-doubt, loving yourself is a revolutionary act". I think that's really fucking true.

Sorry to get all deep on you but there we are!

All the best.

A photo is a freeze frame and we all analyse ourselves and any perceived faults jump out at us when in reality we are in motion and no one else notices these things.

You could have jaw surgery or even a chin implant and then what? You see a photo and maybe you don’t like your ears or your eyes and then you’re on the slippery slope.

You look lovely to me and I am a critical person and didn’t think for one minute that you had ‘chins’ and all I see is an attractive, sparking young lady.

I could have written your original post because I have the same issue as you- except it’s my top jaw and i have an overbite. I am totally horrified by it 24/7. I was told to have the jaw surgery by my dentist too, free on the NHS, and I was so excited (but terrified about the op and recovery). However when I went to meet the surgeon he told me I wasn’t a candidate for surgery or orthodontics as my jaw would probably revert and some of my teeth would likely fall out.
I was utterly heartbroken and felt like my life was over, and burst into tears in his office saying ‘I can’t believe I’ve got to live with this face forever’. He referred me to the psychological team at the hospital for BDD therapy, which I am going through now.
The way you are talking, you sound like you feel the exact same way as me.
Everyone I know says I look lovely/ fine but I just don’t believe it.
It’s a horrendous way to feel.
Please feel free to dm me for more chat/ info .

I feel your pain, having a receding jaw myself! Have never liked the way I looked, but can see now how pretty I actually was at your age. If I'd have known I looked that good, when I looked that good I'd have been more confident. However, you have been offered the option of surgery which I never was so if you does bother you, go for it! Incidentally, you look terrific right now, but I know how hard it is to believe that. ❤

@ViceLikeBlip

Please don't have your jaw actually broken!

The thing with cosmetic surgery is that it probably won't be "as bad" afterwards, but it definitely won't be "perfect". And plus you're likely to have some scarring, and sometimes surgery just looks weird in a way you can't put your finger on.

I think this whole chin thing is actually a bigger issue for you because you're basically very pretty- lovely hair and skin, nice features etc etc. If you were generally a bit uglier, then I don't think you would be fixating on it.

Sorry just to pick up on this. As far as I am aware this surgery is often advised to resolve bite and jaw issues that will get more problematic over time. This isn't purely cosmetic procedure.

I have the same face shape. For photo's, try touching the roof of your mouth with the back of your tongue with a closed mouth smile. Also, try a bit of contouring around the jaw.

I wouldn't bother putting myself through painful jaw surgery personally (seriously, I had a tiny bit of my jawbone removed when I had a complicated wisdom tooth extraction and the recovery was awful). You are very pretty, so just highlight your better features and draw attention away from your flaws.