Dd1 has taken chunks out of her eyebrow please reassure me

[nevernotstruggling]

She's 11. Last day of school yesteday we had an amazing day. Before she got in the shower she got my tweezers and took the end of her eye brow off. I can tell because there's a white patch where she hasn't tanned.
I've just noticed and she lied initially and now knows I'm v cross with her.

My eyebrows are destroyed by over plucking in my teens.

I'm scared of what she will do though she's been told the tweezers will not be out anymore.

Please give me some guidance how best to deal with this.

Perhaps this is your opening into
Personal care especially going into year 7 where all the girls I went to school with shaved, wore makeup etc. Take her to get her eyebrows properly shaped and teach her how to care for them with proper plucking? Give her the tools to
Shave if she wants etc. Maybe a small makeup bag or nail varnish if she’s showing any interest. Better to do it before someone teases her.

Go to her, apologise for overreacting and explain that you overplucked yours as a child and now they are very thin and you don’t want that to happen to her.

Then explain that plucking should be done from underneath the eyebrows, and help her tidy hers up (if that’s what she want).
If she’s worried about the bald patch then some brown eyeliner or eyeshadow can be used to cover it temporarily.

My mum was like this. I was too scared to tell her i was worried about my eyebrows/leg hair etc and ended up doing silly things that hurt instead of asking her for advice.

I've now got 2 girls and both had thier eyebrows professionally threaded when they started to worry about the shape, I taught them how to wax etc.

I don't get how trying to stop little girls from growing up helps them in any way. Both of mine come to with with all the worries because they know i will help them and not be disappointed or angry.

Honestly I’d have just asked why she needed to do that and made light of it, but of a silly thing to do but must be a reason and good opportunity to chat with her about it.

It’s clearly obvious she’s done it but if you’ve come over angry I’d have lied too though embarrassment for doing something so ridiculous to my face. Of course it’ll grow back, hide your tweezers though. We all did/do silly things growing up, to experiment and having your mum to turn to if it goes wrong or to talk it over with is lovely so try not to be too cross with her.

She lied because she knew you’d overreact.
Which you have.

There's a fashion to shave a fade into eyebrows atm isn't there? I plucked mine one hair wide in the early 80s, mum offered me a fiver to grow them but I declined

To this day I lie about some of my more ridiculous accidents - I do not admit the time I shut my ear in a car door. Nor the time I fucked both hips trying to do the splits. Nor the time I injured myself stuck in the window chasing the cat back in from the roof. Nor when I set my hair on fire. Nor more than a few others... It is normal to lie when you know you have done something harmful only to yourself that makes you look a massive tit, I think.

Don't be angry with her for lying - wouldn't you if you ruined your own eyebrows and thought you could get away with it? Help her know how to do it properly next time and laugh for now.

I plucked out over half on both sides at that age, trying to make it even . Only bits missing now are from a scar on one side.

i wouldn’t worry. i shaved and plucked half my eyebrows off multiple times when i was young (not sure why 😂) and they’ve always grown back fine.

@StrawberryLipstickStateOfMind

She lied because she knew you'd be cross with her and you probably made her feel stupid. Poor kid. She lied about doing something perfectly normal and harmless at that age to her own body. It's not like she lied about something serious.

I massively overplucked mine as a young kid in the late 90s. My mum got cross, hid the tweezers away and because I hated all the little stubby hairs coming through I kept finding them.

I wish she had sat me down, not been cross and instead tried to encourage me to grow them back, maybe helped with pencil until they did. They might have recovered very quickly if she had!

Instead where I kept messing around with them, they never properly recovered and I need to faff around every morning so they look decent.

If you overplucked yourself you should know this!

You are right this is exactly what happened with me.

@Kollamoolitumarellipawkyrollo

I’d feel the same. I plucked mine almost to a single thin line in the 1990s. Once. They never really grew back from the middles to the ends. Let her know that it can happen but try not to project too much (though I’d find it a challenge as I hate having to draw mine on every day).

This is exactly my experience

@Ivy48

Perhaps this is your opening into Personal care especially going into year 7 where all the girls I went to school with shaved, wore makeup etc. Take her to get her eyebrows properly shaped and teach her how to care for them with proper plucking? Give her the tools to Shave if she wants etc. Maybe a small makeup bag or nail varnish if she’s showing any interest. Better to do it before someone teases her.

This is quite helpful thank you

Take her to a professional. It's ok that she wants to sort them out, just show her you pay a pro. It's a brilliant opportunity!

@DonLewis

Take her to a professional. It's ok that she wants to sort them out, just show her you pay a pro. It's a brilliant opportunity!

It is I agree. I don't mind the grooming or growing up. She's had a good with my make up recently and I just gave her some bits of her own and said I wasn't cross. She hasn't touched it since!

I over reacted because me doing this and not being supported in my teens has given me years or worry and affected my confidence. I can't hear her to suffer the same.

Oh, I really think you'll look back once she's a teenager and wonder why you were worried about her eyebrows.
Relax. She's done nothing wrong.

For a start lighten up!

Instead of being cross, show her & help her.

From personal experience having a mother who insisted you don't do anything to your body while you're still a little girl (until I was about 15 ) she'll be miserable.

Support her to fit in, within reason. Or high school could be hell

It's obvious you're still pretty traumatised by your experience, but you're projecting. PPs have given you some good advice. Move away from your own feelings about your experience, and turn this into a positive bonding moment between you and your DD. Who knows, it might make you feel better about your own!

It's just eyebrows they'll grow back and it's her body anyway

My dd when she was about 8/9 shaved half of each eyebrow off. She denied it of course. It was hilarious. They grew back five and now she is 16 she draws them on bigger than ever!

Explain why you’re upset, and offer to take her to get them done professionally if that’s what she wants and you can afford. That way you know it’s being done properly and she can feel comfortable with her brows!

*fine

She was probably trying to pluck one of those gaps into her eyebrow.

You’ve basically sent a very strong message that what is important to you is your daughters looks and appearance. And that your opinion of her appearance matters.

Don’t be that mum. Ignore it, laugh it off if you don’t think it will upset her more, and gently ask why she did it- does she want the professionally done when it grows back?

I’m sure they will grow back. Was she trying to make a slit in it? I know that’s popular now

@theheartofthematter

My dd when she was about 8/9 shaved half of each eyebrow off. She denied it of course. It was hilarious. They grew back five and now she is 16 she draws them on bigger than ever!

This is what I need to hear thank you x

@prsphne

Explain why you’re upset, and offer to take her to get them done professionally if that’s what she wants and you can afford. That way you know it’s being done properly and she can feel comfortable with her brows!

Sound advice thank you