How to look more modern

[Nightmarenextdoor]

I went to a trade event at the weekend (creative industry) and was really aware of feeling not quite right. Maybe it was the heat, maybe the weight I’ve put on over lockdown or maybe I’m dressing like I did 18 months/2 years ago and everyone else has moved on.

I like simple comfy clothes but with a bit of an edge - thinking maybe I’ve lost the edge!

Any ideas how to update myself a bit?

True dat!

It's really, really easy to dress well if you choose the right places to shop

And have a Raey budget

Agreed. This is why I enjoy following influencers who shop second hand. Much more skilful.

Can anyone recommend any bloggers (I don't like instagram) that are in their 30s but have normalish lifestyles ie not "I pack 50 chanel bags & £800 dresses for my yacht holiday with the kids".

Ha. I wish I had a Raey budget. I buy a one or two pieces a year, and always when Matches have a promotions on, otherwise most of my pieces are secondhand.

By buying well, I buy less. Spending money on a few quality timeless items is surely better than buying a load of inexpensive/fashion forward items that will either be démodé in less than six months or wear badly.

That's all.

@imamule you might like The Frugality which is run by Alexandra Steadman who is quite big on Instagram but still maintains her blog. It's more lifestyle than fashion these days as she's trying not to buy so many clothes (!) but she does always have an edit on the blog and the occasional fashion feature. Try the aforementioned Wearsmymoney too, she's 40s but has a great weekly blog with lots of outfit ideas.

@sansucre

I do agree… I’m just bitter Raey don’t stock a size 16 😭

@Zinnia thanks I will check out frugality. I know wears my money but it's pretty much how I already dress if that makes sense.

Yes, sure - that's exactly the way I shop, too. (At least as regards new clothes.) But I couldn't buy well if I were not even vaguely aware of evolving trends - and hyper-aware of the moment when any given retailer stops caring about clothes.

(I think we're each using the word trend to mean something different - but are actually saying the same thing!)

@Edmontine

Yes, sure - that's exactly the way I shop, too. (At least as regards new clothes.) But I couldn't buy well if I were not even vaguely aware of evolving trends - and hyper-aware of the moment when any given retailer stops caring about clothes.

(I think we're each using the word trend to mean something different - but are actually saying the same thing!)

I read your earlier post and I agreed with it all; we very much have the same attitude and way of shopping.

I was once a personal shopper, so I do have more than a passing interest in fashion and a very good eye too. However, I'm over trends and rarely have my head turned by them as I my money is better spent elsewhere. I am lucky in as much as I live in Central London so am more influenced by real people I see when I am out and about rather than bloggers and so-called influencers. Indeed, I don't even follow any.

I do often think some jump on trends as they haven't yet found their own style, but at the same time, I do understand what it is like to suddenly find yourself in an environment when you do feel dated compared to others. I think that this might not even be about clothing per se, more about how one is feeling in oneself.

[quote Divebar2021]**@sansucre

I do agree… I’m just bitter Raey don’t stock a size 16 😭[/quote]
I appreciate this might come out the wrong way but some of the items, the big knitwear and coats in particular come up very big! Do not lose heart, and if you see something on eBay in a large size at a good price, jump on it!

@sansucre I agree it’s a better way to shop and something I’m trying to do more and more of. The reality is though, it’s easier to dress well when you can afford higher end pieces, even if it’s fewer of them. Of course it can be achieved on a lower budget, but you need to spend more time scouring the shops and have a good eye.

@imamule

Well where do we start… apparently I follow a ton of influencers although mainly on Insta. Some of these definitely have You Tube channels and blogs but I’m not sure about all of them. Some are thrifters / vintage wearers - I’m going to add some who are over 40 too at the bottom. Hope you find someone you like:
Donna tweedale.stylist
frisky_gatos
Everydayfay
Emma Hill
Freddie Harrel
Ashley Griffin
Chloe Sevigny 😍
Sara Watson aka livelovesarablog
A Small Wardrobe
Sam Williams aka button&blazers
dress like a mum
Jenny Mustard
Useless_dk

Other bloggers

Olivialewzey
Style in the Stix
Southcoast style
Karen Britchick.

I don't really care too much about what is supposedly 'in' or 'out'. I don't have sufficient time or energy (,or cash) to think about it too much. I like comfort. I like fabrics that feel soft on my skin. I love silk and cashmere and buy a lot of pieces in second hand- charity shops, vintage fairs and quality dress agencies. I love Toast and Brora and Liberty ( only affordable second hand or a really great sale bargain) . In my dreams I'd look stylish in that slightly industrial/ work clothing way like a qualified architect or someone who works in a gallery. It's a challenge in your 50s, size 14, big hips. I'd love to wear cropped trousers and jumpsuits but just can't make them work as pockets stick out etc. The cropped legs make my legs look short. White trainers stay white for 5 mins. The French tuck draws attention to my flabby tummy. The American grunge look is meant to be back so maybe I can get away with my favourite floaty floral dresses and DMs again and revisit my 20s! I would like a pair of Vega ? vegan trainers but heard mixed reviews re comfort. I don't wear black as it drains all my colour and I'm pale anyway. Makes me look half dead but not in that pale and interesting way. Just ill. I like colours that make my eyes pop so tend to go with greens and blues. And teal for some reason makes my blue eyes really stand out and I get nice compliments sometimes like 'do you wear coloured contacts?'(I don't). Minimal make up these days, a bit of lippy, some tinted moisturiser and a few coats of black mascara. I'd like to be more adventurous but can't afford to make expensive mistakes. The clothes I own I tend to wear for years or until they fall apart! I wish there was a Toast -like shop at Next prices! I used to love Noa Noa but not sure if they still exist. The Danish ,/ Scandinavians tend to do great design across interiors and clothes.

@Divebar2021 oh wow thank you I will check them out.

I think if you want to wear trainers with dresses, converse or vans are the way to go. The designer white trainer and dress is looking dated and converse and vans never seem to age. The boot cons always look cool.

Good quality clothing that has been designed well never looks dated.
I agree with a lot of what you've posted but not with that. The blazer I was talking about way upthread is Joseph. It's really well made and I may yet find a way to freshen it up (Thanks Divebar I'll check out Useless) or if not I'll put it away for a few years until it either comes around again or acquires vintage status. But right now it looks about as modern as a pair of stilettos.

There are a small number of true originals - yay Grace Coddington - who have managed to transcend fashion, but I think most people who have a style uniform tweak the details incrementally so that they always look current while appearing to always wear the same look. It's a skill I really admire but I don't agree that they're ignoring trends.

In my dreams I'd look stylish in that slightly industrial/ work clothing way like a qualified architect or someone who works in a gallery. It's a challenge in your 50s, size 14, big hips.

So, essentially, the late Zaha Hadid is your style icon?

Edmonton- I hadn't thought of the incredibly talented Zaha Hadid- I've looked for pictures and indeed she looked fabulous although seemed to wear a lot of black. Maybe the key as has been mentioned above, is to take note of people/ influences to whose style you aspire, and try and make it work for you. I'd love to have the courage to opt for a pared down wardrobe (I find too much choice is overwhelming).

She certainly had a very particular style - which I think could be adapted and updated today. Plain, neutral base layer, not necessarily black, and a fabulous, space-claiming coat / jacket. Bold grooming, relaxed, unfussy hair. But mainly she stood out for me (when she was in her 50s and 60s) for her wonderfully un-English refusal to apologise for her age or figure and to embrace her right to look magnificent.

@Floisme

As it happens, I don't wear blazers and would never consider them because they go through trend cycles and are quickly obsolete even if that particular style comes back into fashion, details are often different.

I'm probably guilty of using the words 'jacket' and 'blazer' interchangeably sansucre. The one I'm talking about is technically not a blazer: it's very tailored, nipped in at the waist, hip length and, if ever something could be called 'timeless' (I don't believe anything is but putting that to one side) then it would be this. And yet it feels all wrong.
To be fair, I think it's partly because I associate it with 'office wear' and those days aren't coming back and I miss the conviviality, so it makes me mildly depressed.

Can anyone help me with sandals please? I am trying to look less like a bag lady and saw someone in chunky sandals which looked very comfortable and cool.

Are these really ok to wear nowadays?

I like comfort and have big wide feet, only wear trousers so currently living in wide leg linen trousers.

www.teva-eu.com/en/gb/women-sandals/original-dorado/192410710294.html

www.schuh.co.uk/womens/schuh-chaser-leather-chunky-buckle-black-sandals/1735987020/

@Floisme

I'm probably guilty of using the words 'jacket' and 'blazer' interchangeably sansucre. The one I'm talking about is technically not a blazer: it's very tailored, nipped in at the waist, hip length and, if ever something could be called 'timeless' (I don't believe anything is but putting that to one side) then it would be this. And yet it feels all wrong. To be fair, I think it's partly because I associate it with 'office wear' and those days aren't coming back and I miss the conviviality, so it makes me mildly depressed.

I'm sure, I probably make the same mistake too.

I'm quite petite and an hourglass, with a short body. The proportions of blazers and most jackets just don't work for me as everything hits in the wrong place. I recall years ago doing a trial day in Gucci and they gave me one of their suits to wear, I looked ridiculous much like I did in an early 00's Marc Jacobs air-hostess/70s retro blazer I tried on when a persona shopping client wanted to see some new stock. I must admit that I have managed to avoid wearing suits/blazers ever since.

The kind of jacket you are talking about is timeless, well, in my opinion at least, and very much my idea of the holy grail. It is most certainly something I have wanted for years and am always on the lookout for. I think you feel it's wrong because we've had 18 months out of our lives and everyone has become far more casual. Personally, if you love this jacket, wear it and it will start to feel right again, after all, since when was personal style wrong?

@CornedBeef451

Can anyone help me with sandals please? I am trying to look less like a bag lady and saw someone in chunky sandals which looked very comfortable and cool.

Are these really ok to wear nowadays?

I like comfort and have big wide feet, only wear trousers so currently living in wide leg linen trousers.

www.teva-eu.com/en/gb/women-sandals/original-dorado/192410710294.html

www.schuh.co.uk/womens/schuh-chaser-leather-chunky-buckle-black-sandals/1735987020/

Tevas are great, comfortable and stylish/current. I have several pairs but not the ones you linked too which are pretty foul tbh. Their univerdsal style are wonderful, particularly in the classic colours like black. That said, I have these too.

A great thing about Teva is you can sling them in the washing machine too.

The Schuh are better than the Teva you linked to

Are these really ok to wear nowadays?

Yes.

If you need proof have a look on this page of the Free People site.

Or these photos from & Other Stories: