How to look more modern

[Nightmarenextdoor]

I went to a trade event at the weekend (creative industry) and was really aware of feeling not quite right. Maybe it was the heat, maybe the weight I’ve put on over lockdown or maybe I’m dressing like I did 18 months/2 years ago and everyone else has moved on.

I like simple comfy clothes but with a bit of an edge - thinking maybe I’ve lost the edge!

Any ideas how to update myself a bit?

Better pic of the sandals in case anyone has seen anything similar!

Zara has similar but with toe post not ring & not brown. Or A.Emery

aemery.com/collections/all-products/products/the-spargi-sandal-1

[quote Rina66]@Moulesvinrouge1 I ordered these 2 khaki jackets and kept the New Look one....

I love these tan chunky sandals but they're over £300 so I'm trying to find something similar but cheaper! [/quote]
Thank you! I like both of those. I always forget about Miss Selfridge, but I used to find some real gems in a concession a department store used to have. Same as River Island - half Love Island contestant, half modern workwear!

Dutch divorcee wide leg Cos trousers
That's my wardrobe, that is 

@AnnieSnap the Angelina Jolie comment was tongue-in-cheek - there is a bit of a perceived wisdom on MN that ballet flats are passé. I just think they get reinvented (so for the last few years the high vamp version has been more fashionable). I agree with a great deal of what you say!

It's a delicate balance between following trends and just tweaking your outfits to acknowledge that they exist. I'm at an age where I'll buy into a trend if I like it on me (wide trousers, chunky sandals) and swerve at all costs if not (ditsy florals, prairie collars). Much more interested in generally looking current than jumping on whatever bandwagon is being touted around this week.

@Zinnia 👍

Ballet flats are definitely not passé but probably would look like it if worn with skinny jeans. I’ve worn some modern “V” shaped ones with high waisted jeans or my wide legged cropped trousers (forever to be the Dutch Divorcee ).

Re “ influencers” - Although I follow Wears My Money and bought some white jeans on her recommendation she’s probably less close to my own style than Trays Lounge. ( although closer to my body type than she is). Other “influencers” I like tend to be more into sustainable/ pre-loved fashion. Even those I feel a bit jaded with the amount of purchases they’re making. I’m definitely interested in the slow fashion movement and visible mending etc but really have an enjoyment for shopping which is hard to quash. Last year I was on a plus size thread here and every Saturday we shared photos of items from our wardrobe styled three ways. I really enjoyed the challenge of it although it would eat up half a day. It would be nice though if there was more content generally around “ shopping your wardrobe” rather than this need to constantly buy more.

Well I’ve had a bit of a shopping trip this afternoon and come back with 2 new bras (because I really needed re-measuring and it’s the best way to sharpen up your shape in my experience) and some flatform sandals! I’d never have thought about them before this thread but actually they will go with lots of things I’ve already got that have been mentioned (wide trousers, khaki shacket etc) and it just feels like they’ll freshen up my whole look 😊

PS they were from M&S and I could have been tempted by a few other things in there, not somewhere I usually shop but it feels like they’ve upped their game a bit although you do need to look around and be selective.

I agree with you, @Divebar2021, and that's exactly what I'm trying to do. I'm buying less, better quality, and looking at materials and how and where it was made. It's really tricky when you like clothes and style and enjoy shopping! However, I really like that "styled three ways" thing.

It would be nice though if there was more content generally around “ shopping your wardrobe” rather than this need to constantly buy more.

I would be interested in that.

I need to seriously cull my wardrobe, a decade of free samples means it's more like a shop but don't know where to start. Maybe I should try the three ways thing to identify what I really love & is practical as it all sparks joy 🤦🏼‍♀️

@Divebar2021 I'm with you. I look all these influencers with new clothes nearly daily and I think when is enough enough? I honestly don't want to feel like I'm constantly needing to reach for a new look or a trend. Have you heard of A Small Wardrobe? I like her a lot - Australian who has about 25 high-quality pieces and styles them differently

You can also update your wardrobe by mixing stuff you've normally kept to different areas of your life - I have a leather pencil skirt which I have no intention of giving up, but instead of pairing it with a blouse like pre-pandemic I'm pairing it with a soft, chunky cropped jumper for a more casual office look

I really like the style three ways ideas, but struggle and get stuck in a rut. I try to buy more slow fashion and recently ordered a coat I had to wait five weeks for, it was such a different way if shopping for me and I find I’m now looking for things I can wear the coat with with creatively rather than just popping it in the wardrobe with the ten other coats I have while I start to inevitably see new things….

Love this thread!

I’ve been WFH for the past 18 months and before that was mostly on maternity leave, but in my short return to the (London based) office between maternity & Covid I definitely suddenly felt dated.

I’d always been a tight dress (think those tight jersey type dresses) & heels kind of girl, but at 39 & post-baby I realised it wasn’t the best look, and no one in the office dresses like that - apart from one other woman about my age and I realised she also looked very dated, despite being stunning and slim.

So far I’ve made some changes, I’ve replaced tighter body-con type dresses and tops for looser styles.

I do still wear heels but have ditched the traditional office court shoe and only wear heels that are a bit more funky (as discussed up thread) or something like block heeled boots. Do still love heels though.

Outside work I’ve swapped skinny jeans for mom jeans.

I do do the dress & white trainers look. I realise the trend leading fashionistas have probably left this look behind a while ago, but for me it’s not about being a trend leader, I just want to look current and not dated!

Forgot to say I also got a black jumpsuit which I can wear with the sandals of trainers, and with or without a T-shirt or vest underneath - can see me living in that the rest of the summer.

I’m not sure about the “flat forms” though.

Are something like Birkenstock’s a classic, or are they dated now?!

Fashion should be fun, not punitive and without wanting to bore anyone, taking it extremely seriously is a very, created first world problem, when there are so many important things out there to be concerned about.

I agreed with the rest of your post, AnnieSnap - but can't help feeling it's incredibly dismissive to suggest that taking clothing seriously is a purely 'first world problem'. Getting dressed is, and always has been, hugely important everywhere. People cross the world to put themselves in a position where they might have either the financial or societal freedom to agonise over the exact choice of t shirt, hairstyle, sneaker. As always, there's a danger, in not according this sufficient importance, of saying "silly women" - however politely.

Should have said, for me, looking modern involves being aware of where I shop and the evolving attitudes and policies of designers and clothes shops.

I've spent decades stalking beautiful clothes across a season and pinning them down in the sales - but that consumer model is becoming seriously outdated. People have mentioned slow fashion - and I'm not sure whether environmental concerns or covid-related finances are the true cause, but more and more retailers are going down the route of only making to order, rather than keeping a warehouse of stock. This means they sell at a fixed price and don't have stock left over to throw into a sale at 70% off. For the first time ever, I pre-ordered something in March, that has just been delivered. And I've got my eye on a jacket that would be made to my measurements and delivered in about six weeks.

Suppliers who are working like this already know they're not going to sell twenty thousand pink jumpers - which affords them the freedom to design with far more individuality, using the sort of craft and fabric one can't get (at moderate prices) in the mass market. So I expect to look modern because the people making and supplying the clothes I buy are actually thinking about what they do.

(God, that all sounds preachy! Sorry. Term's over, no one left to pontificate to ...)

@Moulesvinrouge1 I have a hush one bought in 2015 still going strong ( look on eBay), Baukjen, M&S, Sézane, H&M and try her Article. here? I always look at wears my money first thing in a Sunday and have shamelessly bought many things on her suggestion! I don't keep them all. And we also have an almost identical dog though mine is age nearly 13 and hers a year.

Emma hill too but take with a pinch of salt but since she has switched to a more preloved approach I've enjoyed her videos

@Pigtailsandall

I do know A Small Wardrobe - I like her videos a lot even though her style is not my style exactly. I don’t really want a minimalist wardrobe for various reasons but she’s exceptionally watchable & calming. If I get chance I’ll have a look at some of the “slow fashion influencers” that I like because I’d like them to get more exposure. One new to me is Useless_dk on Instagram who made me think of @Flosime because she was styling a more fitted blazer. She may not be as cutting edge as some but at first look I like her style and it’s achievable… as is A Small Wardrobe actually.

Great thread, I missed the pictures you posted- did you say they were from Instagram?

[quote Nightmarenextdoor]@Floisme that's a good idea actually, off to stalk their Instagram!

Its frustrating, I felt like I'd finally got an idea of my style at 48 and I really don't want to be a slave to trends but I think you do need to be aware of them - especially in an environment where people expect you to be interested in how things look.[/quote]
I do not think you need to be aware of trends at all in order to look modern. Fashion comes and goes, but style is forever. If you know what your style is and are happy, why change it needlessly? Look at women like Grace Coddington and Phoboe Philo, both have a uniform that they rarely deviate from and always look modern.

I wear predominately Cos, Raey with a few pieces of Joseph. I dress minimally, but look always current. Good quality clothing that has been designed well never looks dated.

And if you want to feel more on trend, a good way to update you look is with accessories be it new glasses, jewellery or a pair of shoes. It's the details that others usually spot and comment on.

It's positively evil to say one doesn't need to be aware of trends - and then cite Phoebe Philo and Raey in your argument!

No individual or brand could be more aware, second by second, of how to bend the zeitgeist to their will and make intensely designed clothes - relentlessly tweaked every season - look carelessly thrown together. Of course someone wearing the labels you mention will be aware of trends, if only at an almost subliminal level.

Generally, when people struggle to look contemporary it's because they're still using shops that stopped even trying about thirty years ago. So everything produced since 1990 looks horrifying, or at least absurd to them. It's really, really easy to dress well if you choose the right places to shop.

It's really, really easy to dress well if you choose the right places to shop.

Yep

It's really, really easy to dress well if you choose the right places to shop.

And have a Raey budget.