Let’s talk about stylish people in their 40s!

[Nanny2many]

So my big 40 is looming and I feel in limbo. Not only am I dressing like I teenager, but a teenager from the 2000s. I feel dated and paradoxically middle aged frumpy and mutton dressed as lamb at the same time.

What changes can I make to feel more chic,grown up, put together? And then incorporating some fun and individuality?

Gotta love a statement necklace!

That article

I don't care about dressing appropriately for my age, to be clear. I mostly feel like skinny jeans have become so ubiquitous that I now feel stupid in anything else. And trying to dress my dreadful stomach which is getting chopped off soon is an ongoing battle which I just can't win.

I'm 42 and went through a similar phase of thinking, if you've had children your body changes massively and you get a little lost in the early years. If you haven't had children you body still changes and priorities are different.

Stalking these boards helped but then just experimenting with outfits and trying on different things on and having fun with it all.

Then not caring as much either.

I mostly feel like skinny jeans have become so ubiquitous that I now feel stupid in anything else

Well I don’t know where in the country you are but they’re no longer ubiquitous around here. Although there are plenty of women still wearing them they’re not particularly standing out for their fashion choices. Thankfully there are a myriad of styles available now so probably something to suit everyone. Even M&S has balloon leg, boyfriend, mom jeans etc.

As for the stomach... just wait til you hit the menopause. I never used to have a stomach at all even at a size 16 but there it is pooching away beneath my belly button damn it. I’m in the gym working on it and in the meantime and going to explore the world of Skims underwear. Clothes wise I’m going for a robust high waisted trousers and jeans to keep it tucked in.

I feel the pain but I think fashion hasn't been great on the last few yrs as I'm not inspired by much in the shops.

@Divebar2021 I'm getting abdominoplasty this year so reluctant to change anything until after that, as my shape will be different.

But in the meantime I feel 🤮

Is that a tummy tuck?

Yes! Couldn't remember the non-surgical name for it. My stomach muscles are fucked from having kids and I've got a horrible overhang situation 🤢

I would agree with pp, don't bother with Does My Bum Look 40, it's not a curated look, and not about wardrobe building. It's less about style, more about how to wear something eg Tu jacket or whatever. Maybe others know if there are good instagram stylists that advise rather than promote?

Maybe others know if there are good instagram stylists that advise rather than promote?

Or bloggers? I don't use insta anymore, got sick of the identical mum army or ££££ budgets.

@SoMuchForSummerLove I want one but scared, probably will end up doing it at some point though.

Too true, @gagrag - I used to follow a few, but it got to be about what they were gifted rather than style! The turning point came when I saw at least four promote the same (ugly) handbag and realised they'd all been sent the same gift!

Yep, I loved it when it first came out & it was a great alternative to magazines & far more diverse. Then fb got involved, the algorithms switches & the shilling. All so homogeneous now & don't get me started on interiors where it kills trends before they even translate to real life.

I've thought about it for about five years @gagrag and always felt it would be reckless to volunteer for surgery when I have young kids.Almost like I didn't have the right, you know?

But it literally enters my head every minute of every day, and it's getting worse with age. I came into a wee bit of money and took the opportunity.

I'm sure it will be completely worth it & you will regret not doing it sooner!

Hope so @gagrag

Does my bum look 40, now only exists to make money. Unfortunately no longer interested in helping you find a look.
It’s all about advertising.

I’m about to cull a load of Insta women who are all about the freebies and making money but I still like WearsMyMoney, LittleSpree and SusieSoSo

Gayle Rinkoff is my style girl crush. She’s a proper stylist too, been doing it on Tv Etc for 20 years or more

sorry everybody, i posted this a while ago and lost the post. thank you for your feedback and i will take on board everything you've said. No statement necklaces lol!
And i think I'm going to start experimenting more and steer away from anything too safe or inoffensive.

@Procrastatron good question re 2000

This is one outfit I bought pre-lockdown to wear with knee high black boots for “girls dinner/night out” that I thought felt quite vampy Kate moss rock chick vibe, but I fear looks more Dorian from birds in a feather! It’s now in the charity bag

I also think my make up is dated….. I’m stuck in the matte-pale-powdery foundation layer when it’s actually now about light and dark, highlighter and contour. But that can be fixed by a visit to Selfridges beauty counters at least

Mate I'm nearly 50 (next year), stop worrying so much.

You've just got to love yourself.