Alternative style in middle age

[tunainatin]

I think I need some help. I've always loved clothes but had an alternative style and not wanted/felt I needed to follow fashion. However, I am now undeniably middle aged, and I'm feeling that the clothes I'm naturally drawn to are no longer doing anything for me. For example, vintage/old lady dressed used to look cool, now they just make me look like...well, an old lady! I love quirky patterns and have some boden/seasalt dresses - they look beautiful in my wardrobe but on I suspect I look like a frumpy mum.
I have a nice figure, but I'm short and a size 12, quite hourglass, so it doesn't take much to make me look a bit plump. I'm thinking I might need to limit the patterns, and go for more of an 'edgy' look than a ditsy look.
I think I need some 'rules' to follow, so I don't end up buying stuff that looks much better off than on. I know what colours suit me, so that's a start. Would love to hear from others with the same kind of style perhaps. I've no desire to look 'polished', and no need either, work is fairly casual.
Thank you!

I really hope I don't sound rude but you mention 'alternative' then go on to talk about your Boden/Seasalt dresses and that's a bit confusing. Could you tell us a little more about your current style and the things you like?

No not rude at all, yes I realise those brands are quite mainstream. I tend to wear dresses over jeans - I like vintage dresses but also love some of the patterns of seasalt/boden. I think I'm trying to say that I have my own style, so while skinny jeans and a bretton top look great, that's not really me. I think right now I'm perhaps more ageing hippy than alternative and would like to edge back more towards alternative. In my 20's I looked original and got lots of compliments, but it's not really working now - I'd like to keep my own style but I think at this age need to take into account what suits me more.

altered-imagery.tumblr.com/post/131737085247/mushrooms-and-my-new-cardigan-are-a-match-made-in

That's a good example of the kind of thing I love, but feel it's not really doing it for me anymore! I'll post some more examples from my pinterest.

thefoldline.com/product/forager-vest/

My winter coat is similar to this and I feel that still really suits me:

www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/443675000784290828/

Love the coat!

How about things like weekend Doll?

Less is more, incorporate the quirky clothing you like one item at a time.

I can’t imagine dresses over jeans, is that not very chunky? Especially for an hourglass you must be adding inches to your waist?

I had a style and colour consultation done with House of Colour that I found very helpful. Trinny is great to follow on Facebook or Instagram. Kettlewell Colours have great colour ideas.

I like your style. I'd keep it.

espirito I like some of those weekend doll looks thanks. I think the coat works as it comes in at the waist.

OppsUpsSide I think you might be right depending on the shape of the dress. But I also feel really top heavy if I wear a dress with tights.

covid yeah I got clued into the colour thing a while ago, and did some research. I think I have a fair idea which colours to avoid these days.

thanks Mehoooole I do kind of what to keep it, but modified slightly to make the best of myself IYSWIM

Oatcake yes I read on another thread someone saying that as they aged they tended to wear one quirky item at a time, rather than all at once! I think that's a good strategy.

I think dresses over jeans does tend to look frumpy even when you’re a lean 20 something. You should probably experiement with tights styles - I often find cable knit / woolen tights / boots work better with some dresses.

Thanks grumpy I'll try that, it might be just habit!

Pick a famous person whose style you like and see, is it the colours or shape or what, I found this difficult with actresses as we usuall see them on the red carpet and that is hardly useful.
I like Michelle Obama's style. She is more dramatic that me, but she does that focus on 1 thing, and wears lots of colour, and flowey trousers.

40plusstyle.com/wearing-a-dress-over-trousers/

3rd pic down on the right would be typical if I was doing a presentation at work (though I don't look anything like that lady!)

Oh that's a good idea covid, I'll do some googling.

Have you ever looked at
www.joebrowns.co.uk ?

It was your coat that made me think of JB clothes.

flippy yes I like some of their stuff

I have had a similar crisis of confidence with what I wear. Very much alternative and now in what I cannot avoid calling middle age I did wonder if I should tone it down or change. I came to the conclusion after trying different things that it made me so unhappy and I felt like a fraud, so I will continue to dress for me, how I like. Although the difference being that I dress for my shape now much more, post children.

If it makes you happy, you feel comfortable in it, what better way to dress?

Slight changes in a different body shape or no longer wearing killer heels, yeah that happens.

If you love a dress, and you feel amazing wearing it, wear it!

I think I know what you mean, OP. Certain sorts of boho/alternative/vintage looks can suddenly seem a bit "vintage but not in a good way" past a certain age. Could you try going towards an older vintage look - ie, more towards elements of the 20s, 30s and 40s? And also more towards old-style glamour? So art deco prints, more black, sharper styles, red lipstick, dramatic jewellery? Do you like All Saints stuff - that might suit you? How about a dramatic grey or black tunic with black leggings, long metallic boots, glamorous jewellery and strong make up?

change completely agree with your sentiment, but the problem is I don't really feel good in it anymore. Seem stuck in a cycle of buying the same sort of things and realising they're not right.