What size is your 13yo Dd?

[Thedarksideofthemoon30]

My dd is 5ft5 and weighs 9st7.

She’s not fat but is getting wider hips/boobs, she also has chunky thighs (she horse rides).

She is really upset as I bought her a pair of “mom” jeans yesterday in a size 10 (her normal size) and they didn’t do up so I swapped them for a 12.
She had a pair of size 8 snd they were getting abit tight.

She’s a size 8/10 on top.

What size is your dd?

I’m that height and weight and edging towards a 12-14 from a pre lock down 8. For my DD I found it useful to use percentiles. At 13 she was 98 for height and something like 12 for weight. So I think she’d have been a uk 6-8.

At 13 i don’t think it’s a fair comparison. Some are pre-puberty or early puberty still and some way past it and still adult size.

9’7 for 5,5 is a perfectly healthy weight. Womens sizing is all over the place so it’s probably more the style or the shop.

Although I wouldn’t have a clue how much mine weigh. How do you know?

How old is she? As long as she doesn't creep towards 10 stone and she eats healthily I would say that weight is fine for 5ft 5 🤷‍♀️ different brands come up with different sizes
I don't have a teenage daughter yet but at 15 I was 7stone 7lbs and 5ft 8 I can remember not really fitting into adult sizes apart from the Topshop size 6s (RIP Topshop 😭)
I'm now 32 and pregnant but I'm usually 8stone 11lbs and a size 8.
I think it's a shame that young girls are so conscious of their size, men don't have this problem if they are a bit chubby then they could be a good rugby player 😂

Agree that percentiles are a better measurement then you can see where she is in comparison to her peers x

She weighs herself sometimes. The scales are in the bathroom. She’s really not worried about her weight because she eats whatever she wants. I would like her to eat abit healthier tbh.

I have a major eating problem, I’m obese (dieting) and at her age I would have been a size 16. My fear is she will end up like me, I don’t think she will. But I try not to project my feelings onto her.

If you were a 16 at her age and she's a 10/12 then it doesn't look like she takes after you 🤷‍♀️

If she has gone through puberty then that size is okay. Mom jeans tend not have stretch which explains why they vary so much between companies; and pure denim is meant to be so tight you can only just do up the button when you first buy it. It actually relaxes as it gets washed etc.

@Thedarksideofthemoon30

She weighs herself sometimes. The scales are in the bathroom. She’s really not worried about her weight because she eats whatever she wants. I would like her to eat abit healthier tbh.

I have a major eating problem, I’m obese (dieting) and at her age I would have been a size 16. My fear is she will end up like me, I don’t think she will. But I try not to project my feelings onto her.

Please don’t make food a battle ground. Because she will either not listen to you because you’re overweight and ‘what do you know?’ or she’ll go the other way and do whatever it takes not to be like you.

If you think healthy eating might benefit then quietly remove unhealthy snacks for the family, keep the fruit bowl stocked, and keep the fridge full of lean proteins and veg.

I know it's hard not to get weird about this stuff. But remember lots of us were chunkier at that age than as adults. Lots of body changes. My 14yr dd is 5'3" and size 8. I freaked a bit as I am 5'3" and was a size 6/8 in my 30s (50s now) and adults have broader frames than younger teens. But I look at her and actually can't understand how I was a 6/8 as I'm sure I was bigger than she is now and people keep saying vanity sizing means sizes are actually bigger. So I'm a tad confused.

@honeybuns007

I know it's hard not to get weird about this stuff. But remember lots of us were chunkier at that age than as adults. Lots of body changes. My 14yr dd is 5'3" and size 8. I freaked a bit as I am 5'3" and was a size 6/8 in my 30s (50s now) and adults have broader frames than younger teens. But I look at her and actually can't understand how I was a 6/8 as I'm sure I was bigger than she is now and people keep saying vanity sizing means sizes are actually bigger. So I'm a tad confused.

A lot of the women in my family used to complain 30 years ago that shops were lying when they said they stocked a 6/8 and it was deliberately mislabelled but I thought they were just joking.

All the younger women my family are between a 0-8 and only really started to wear womenswear in the 00s when the measurements were adjusted. That could explain the size difference.

I just wanted to say that I always have to size up in mom jeans, I'm a size 8 and always have to get a 10 and even then sometimes I'd rather not try to wriggle them on!

My 13yo DD is about 5"9 and a size 8 but she's always been a beanpole.

It's so important not to let weight/size become an issue but so hard when we're all bombarded with pressure to look a certain way. Is removing the scales an option? We have scales but they're hidden in a cupboard and DD doesn't use them.

It's so hard OP but I hope you can reassure your DD that she's a healthy size and weight and that clothes sizing varies wildly so there's no point in stressing about it.

Be happy she is healthy and riding.

Celebrate her new womanly curves and changes, and be 100% positive. Teach her it is not about size, but fit and style that suits her. Right now, you can make the world of difference to her confidence and how she sees herself, but reminding her she is amazing just as she is.

My dds never weigh themselves, we don't have scales in the house for good reason.

I don't know if any of the books recommended here might be useful www.amightygirl.com/blog?p=23026

Age 14 getting pear shaped tbh size 8 on top size 10-12 bottoms. She walks to school, 2 miles each way so she's getting exercise. She also runs around a local park after school with friends. I don't know how much she weighs, we don't keep scales in the house. I grew up with a mother who obsessed about my weight so I don't want to inflict that on my girl.

We went shopping recently for a summer dress, sometimes she happily got into an 8 and sometimes the dresses looked better in a 12. She bought a jacket in a 14! It really depends on the cut of the clothing and the brand too.

My 12 year old is 5ft 5 and weighs about 10 stone. She is slightly overweight following a year of lockdowns on and off! But she's always been a bit stacked tbh. Round bum, muscly thighs and now big boobs too. (She looks like she's never done sport in her life but is a killer road cyclist!)

She is size 10-12. I got her mom jeans in a 12 and they were really right. Swapped them today but made sure they had stretch denim, made a great difference! 14 is definitely too big for her. I think unless you go in at the waist mom jeans are a nightmare. I'm a 16 in everything but straight shaped rather than hour glass and I can't do mom jeans up!

Also I think your daughter is fine weight wise. Like my daughter she is just woman sized before the rest of her friends!

My 14 yo is 5ft 5 and 8.5 stone. Wears a size 8. Isn't skinny but is slim.

Your DD sounds fine. At this age they get their shapes and they aren't all going to stay the skinny kids they once were.

Periods make a huge difference too.

@brushlaptop

Agree that percentiles are a better measurement then you can see where she is in comparison to her peers x

This is a terrible idea.

The overwhelming majority of women are overweight/obese

Therefore the individual on the 50% centile is overweight.

We should look objective measurements like bmi, take in conjunction with waist measurement and body fat percentage to establish the likely health outcomes for an individual at a given weight.

I do worry about people’s grasp of concepts like this.

The child growth percentiles are long established from before the “obesity epidemic”. They aren’t like normal weight and height percentiles that are actually adjusted for the population.

My dd is ridiculously tiny. She is the bottom end of the percentile chart and I’m struggling to find her age appropriate clothing because we still have to shop in the young girls section. I think it ends up being a rough age for many girls.

13 is a tough age to do comparisons. My niece still looked like a 9 year old when she was 13 while DD was getting close to her full adult height.

DD is now 14.5. She’s 5ft 7 and 7 stone. For reference I think that’s the 85th% for height and 25th for weight. At 13 she was a couple of inches shorter and half a stone lighter. She eats whatever she wants but she plays 3 different sports and dances. We had to work out the other day how much exercise she does for a survey and it’s 15 hrs a week of organised sports and training. She’s not skeletal but she’s definitely slim. Size wise I think she wears a 6 or 8. I was definitely heavier than her when I was her age but I didn’t do nearly as much exercise as she does.

Lockdown must have been tough on fitness levels and bodies, especially for teenagers. My kids were really feeling it last year when they couldn’t play sport and ours was only disrupted for a couple of months in Australia.

green I mostly worry about not measuring girls but ensuring they don't develop anorexia and/or eating disorders and low self esteem for life. It is endemic due to social media pressures.

Op, developing and encouraging a passion for some kind of sport, as you have done, ensuring they eat well and understand food. Enjoy being a young and vibrant person.

If she isn't concerned then I would follow her lead.

I agree that at 13 they are all different shapes.

I was a size 14 at that age but was a little overweight.
I think a 10/12 is fine though.
If she's doing horse riding I'm guessing she's fairly fit and active so that's all that matters really.