Has anyone grown out the grey and then gone back to dyeing?

[balzamico]

My hair is completely natural now, it's virtually white, but I have a suspicion it's really ageing me. I'm only 52, and I don't want to look like a well preserved pensioner!
I dyed it for years as the greys started early but the recent years ended up with some gingery/ brassy colours that were terrible.
I've been with my hair salon for 20 years and I love them but I wonder if I need to change. I've tried and failed to attach a photo, I'll try in a new comment box

@Meredusoleil I'm 48. The skunk bit is getting whiter but the rest is stubbornly mouse.

[quote Northernsoullover]@Meredusoleil I'm 48. The skunk bit is getting whiter but the rest is stubbornly mouse.[/quote]
I'm getting so lazy with dying my hair at home. But am limited to doing it that way as can't use the dyes that contain ammonia! Think I may have gone too red recently, so may have to go back to dark brown again 🤔

I stopped dying my hair at the first lockdown and I'm not as self conscious about it now as most people have seen it. It was worse when it was growing out then it is now as I can tie it back and mostly looks grey. I can't wait to get it cut, I think once I've got it styled again it will look a lot better even though the dye won't all be out. I can't be bothered with all the faffing anymore!

Sorry to hijack again but can I just check the name of the Head & Shoulders shampoo everyone is raving about? I’d it actually called Clean and Clear Blue or did pp just mean it’s in a blue bottle?

Sorry, meant Classic Blue I think, see - getting confused as I am so old.

Classic Clean is the one I use @PuppyMonkey

I started growing my dye out last February. I've not been to the hairdresser since.

I agree about the grombre, mine looks intentional now.

As you get older, your skin tone changes and the grey / salt and pepper colouring suits you better.

What looks awful is a full head of dark dye, which is obviously an attempt to look younger, and fails miserably.

So it has to be subtle. Which takes time, effort and money, and was partly the reason why I stopped covering up my greys in the first place.

I've deliberately steered clear of the salon, and will only go back when I have my final cut, to chop off the brown ends. I just know my hairdresser will try to persuade me to have some highlights put in, or whatever, as I'm no longer such a profitable client for them.

Thanks @Cocolapew

I have not grown out the colour on a voluntary basis but lockdown has left me with a fringe that is grey underneath. If I pull back my hair it makes me loook years older. My mother did not go grey until she was in her 80's I suspect I may take the same route, it just isn't "me" and I feel the opposite of liberated. I'll be swishing my mainly blonde hair after appointment on 20 April and for a long time after that.

I stopped dyeing mine when I hit 50, and within a year it was entirely grown out.

I did actually have a wibble last week, after seeing a pic of me with glossy red/brown hair, which is what I think of as 'me'. However, my logical head knows I can't have that any more - it doesn't suit my skin tone any more, and I would have to do my roots every two weeks, as anything with red tones shows the grey horrifically. (Brown obviously not much better.)

I have no wish to be blonde, it doesn't suit me at all - would much rather be natural grey than dyed blonde. I also know I'd regret it instantly and have to spend another year growing it out.

I do think there's a lot to be said for accepting that everything changes about your hair and skin tone as you get older, and that going against that can be the most ageing thing of all?

I wonder how many people who claim that grey hair is ageing have their hair dyed far too dark as so many people do, or another dyed colour, that they think makes them look younger but actually does the opposite? There's a lot of it about ...

Re grey being 'aging' - there is quite a bit of self-delusion about coloured hair being youthful - peri menopause and menopause brings tonal changes to the skin of many women that no amount of faking hair colour can hide - whatever we tell ourselves. There is one celebrity stylist who refers mockingly in private to an ubiquitous style known as 'menopausal blonde' because so many women are persuaded that blonde shades - especially on greying brown hair - will keep them youthful. Generally there is a pink tone to middle aged Caucasian skin that clashes with the hair tone. So I would say we should each go grey or not go grey according to personal preference but that it is definitely not as one sided a decision as some people seem to think.

Your hair looks lovely, OP.

hard to say if it ages you, but it's lovely on its own.

BCBG completely agree.

I’ve heard that menopausal blonde highlights are the equivalent of the cauliflower perm.

I had mine lightened and it looked shite. Brassy, even though l used all the purple shampoos.

I have very pronounced cool colouring, and any hint of orange or yellow kills me.

This is mine a year after last dye job. Used to have light brown and highlights at hairdresser, all dye has faded and left blonde ends. Booked in for a cut next week and will be a bit sad to see more blonde bits go but will resist hairdressers suggestion to dye again

The silver looks lovely @NecklessMumster

Had chemo at 45, lost all my (dyed) brown hair. Very hard to think about going back to this afterwards. Sitting in the hairdressers for about 2 hours every 4 or 5 weeks. Never thought of highlights/low lights. In the last 18 months I have been very tempted again. Everytime I grow my hair below my chin, it is v brassy, which my Polish hairdresser says is green - we think it is a mineral deposit - she doesnt recommend purple shampoo and from my exhaustive trials of same, neither do I , it doesnt work . I have tried some fo the chellating shampoos Joico, still no success. Will try the Head and Shoulders in a last ditch attempt. Either I need book in for a weekly wash and blow dry at the salon or I really feel like getting some high/low lights purely to counter the flat greeney/yellow white I have. And yes I do feel it ages me, but I think you need a very good colourist and blended colour to flatter you once you turn 50 ish. Will continue to monitor post - my hair looks like yours only with less tonal variation

I reckon that going natural versus continuing to dye has to be one of the most divisive topics, up there with bottle versus breast, vaccinations etc. I have had so much flak, subtle and overt from defensive dye lovers that I just avoid the topic and tend to avoid this discussion on mumsnet too - where everyone with natural hair looks at least 55. Sure they do.

Of course my real life friends are just being kind, and I'm deluded.

My hairdresser thinks I'm mad - quelled surprise.
It's only on the internet that people can tell me the truth - I look old and like I've given up. I'll never get a man or a new job. I'm 35.

How about I don't care? I don't think I look amazing. I am just fed up of the burn of chemicals every fortnight and keeping up the fiction that women don't have grey hair.

"It ages you" is the gavel bang on the topic. Like nothing else matters.
It puts an almighty terror into us. I get it, not many women or men want to look older than they are but it's like we don't question why grey reads as old. We haven't got time to question it. We look OLD. We need to RUN and sort out the grey hair QUICK!

@NecklessMumster that looks lovely.
I was taking DD to work this morning and quite frankly I looked awful. I'm naturally very, very, pale, though I still have dark brows and lashes, my hair was sticking up everywhere and I looked like death warmed up.I had a look in my rearview mirror and wondered how I would look with dyed hair and came to the conclusion I'd have still looked like shit, probably worse. My natural colour is definitely the best colour for my skin tone.

Actually I'm not sure why so many people have a terror of looking old(er). Everyone is aging, we aren't Benjamin Button.
I have no need to look like I'm in my 30's.

OP, it's not the colour, it's the cut that'a ageing . You need an angled bob.

Grey roots with blond hair is much more ageing than white hair!

I am 40, but haven't got a lot of grey yet.

My colour is pretty much grown out fully now. I have trimmed it myself over lock down and it hasn't been coloured in about 18 months. The grow out is very uneven though. It is white/silver at the temples, but pretty dark at the back with flecks of silver. It is curly so not as harsh a line as if I wore it straight.

I have realised that my natural "dark" hair isn't as dark as it was in my teens/20s so my overall colouring has lightened and cooled down. I used to have warm/red tones but now it is much cooler.

My face isn't the same colour tone now either. It used to be more peaches/cream, now it is more sallow. So I agree that it all changes as we age.

If I hadn't grown my colour out, I probably would have stuck to the same colours, which were starting to do nothing for me.

If it was an even grey all over, I would leave it now but it looks patchy. So I am going for a cool/ash dye to even it out a bit.

I think the photos shared on this thread are fab! If I had any of your lovely colours, I would stick with it! I think nice brows and a tidy cut helps too.

I suspect as with all things in life there is no definitive answer. Grey hair will age some people wont age others 🤷‍♀️ hardly a surprise.

I spent two years growing in my grey. A year of highlighting treatments to get rid of the brown dye then a year of growing it out. It looked nice but it aged me at least 15 years. I hung in for a few months thinking it would be a waste of the last two years but recently dyed it dark blonde. When I looked in the mirror after I'd dyed it I felt such relief! I felt I looked like me again if that makes sense. No regrets here. The dark blonde means the grow out line isn't as obvious as it was with the dark brown