Nice clothes but never wear them - changing mindset

[Yorkshirepuddingforever]

Hi

I was wondering if anyone else has lovely clothes which they never wear?

I have been on a few wardrobe clear out and capsule wardrobe type threads recently which has motivated me to sort things out and this has made me realise I actually have a lot of nice clothes. My problem is I have some kind of psychological block about wearing them and end up wearing the same old things.

Has anyone had this same issue and resolved it? I don't think it helps that I am working from home and now the schools are shut also have 2 kids at home. Also about to give birth so most of it doesn't fit at the moment but want to try and start wearing the nice stuff as soon as it fits.

Thanks 😊

I’ve always dressed quite smart and worn my nice clothes if I can. It’s is harder now but even so there are ways of dressing nicely.
As someone else said dress for the lifestyle you have. So I focus on my coats and accessories. So lots of lovely hats and scarves that I alternate daily. Make sure you don’t end up wearing the same one all the time, have them easily accessible. I invested in a couple of quality Barbour type water proof coats/parkas.

I have some gorgeous dubarry boots I live in that look smarter than wellies and walking boots.
I am wearing hoodies/ leggings underneath though.
I have a large smart wool coat collection that hopefully will get to wear when it gets less cold and rainy in the spring.

Oh and my dubbarry bots we’re my post pregnancy treat to myself when in felt too fat to spend money on decent clothes.

marly11 I have the same issue but try to wear lovely jumpers in colours and patterns I like, plus dresses and skirts layers up underneath to keep warm.

It's so difficult isn't it? I have lots of lovely clothes but the reality is I have a three year old, horses, and WFH so I mostly wear leggings and jumpers.

I got a new job in Feb last year, bought a load of new office clothes, and by the time I started in May we were working from home so they've never been worn. We might be WFH permanently now so I have these clothes and no office to wear them in

I'm going to try and start dressing up anyway. Although my flat is quite cold so chances are I'll end up with a jumper chucked over me.

Inspired by you lovely lot I have ceremoniously bagged up the bobbly old leggings, wrecked uggs and manky sweatshirts for the recycling Bank when it reopens. DH has put them at the back of the garage so I am not tempted to get them back out! Feeling very pleased with myself.

I also had a big think about why I am worried about not being able to replace things if they are ruined and it feels so illogical. I may not be able to replace with an exact match but there is always something I like or have my eye on so I think I need to stop worrying about that.

@Yorkshirepuddingforever I know what you mean. It's a funny mindset isn't it? I don't tend to ruin clothes. If I'm doing something really messy I have clothes for that. Yet I still keep things for best in case I ruin them

@Cleanqueen me too, I have clothing for gardening, painting , dog walking, but do I really need 6 pairs of jeans and 4 pair of leggings for this.

@lindyloo57 that was my thought process. I have breeches for riding, leggings for slobbing at home.

I'm not even totally sure skinny jeans suit me anymore. I'm reserving judgement for a little while longer but it is tempting to chuck them all so I'm forced to wear something else.

To be fair, I have ruined clothes. I've trashed some really lovely things in the past because I'd bought them second hand for next to nothing and I'd thought they were replaceable. Some of them would have been very collectable now if I'd just treated them with a little more care. So I don't think it's totally daft.

I have a constant worry that I’ll get clothes dirty, ruined, or just worn out from wearing and washing. So if I buy an item of clothing that I love, that is also fairly cheap or reduced, then I buy another in the same or different colour so that I have a spare! This totally changes my mindset and encourages me to wear my favourite clothes. Obviously wouldn’t work for more expensive clothing!

I'm really trying to change my mindset around clothes. I mean we buy them to wear them, don't we?

If something eventually wears out, it's because you've loved it and worn it and it's given you hours of joy. Or that's what I'm trying to tell myself at least!

I used to be this way but I tried kondo ing my wardrobe and only kept stuff that brought me joy. I got rid of tons (8 Ikea bags) of stuff. I keep one small drawer of things that have good memories but everything else brings me happiness and I wear them.

l

I'm a lesson in this. I have beautiful unworn clothes. Now with adapting to illness, different body shape and different mobility, I can't wear them. So as others have said. WEAR THE GOOD THINGS.
Part of my problem was that I didn't splurge on comfortable things, so now I'm still into luxe fabrics but I'd get less restrictive clothing. I do have an old YSL cocktail ring I'll dig out to wear while eating dinner tonight.
I'd love to see a board of those different looks @ShrikeAttack

If I did try to wear something nice I was ridiculed. @DDIJ who would ridicule you?

I am planning to make a huge spreadsheet of my clothes tomorrow. I have way way too much, and because I don't really know what I have I just wear the same things all the time. Despite having three wardrobes full I still have to put my summer clothes away in the loft I usually need very smart clothes for work (legal) but have really got into loungwear during lockdown and love feeling so comfy, it's going to be hard going back!!

Once I have catalogued everything I can stop telling myself I really need to buy XYZ just because I fancy it. The money I have wasted would have been better spent paying off my mortgage or adding to savings so I can retire earlier but it's never too late.

I realised I do the same with beauty products and even with food! I spoke with my counsellor about it and she said it was typical behaviour for someone like me who has had an abusive childhood with emotional connections witheld so that's something for me to think about. I catalogued the Beauty hoard today and clothes tomorrow - busy old weekend!

I like the idea of that spreadsheet BlueSussex. If you work in law it might be worth investing in something comfy but tailored. I have a blazer and trousers from Dai. They're cut with comfort in mind (and ethical) but a worthwhile splurge for me as I could walk off a flight into a meeting uncrumpled. daiwear.com/

@Otherplans WOW! Just had a quick look and this is right up my street!!

Thanks so much.

I have started dressing nicely to work from home. I have plenty of stretchy, soft clothes that are also lovely so I’m not compromising comfort for style and I feel so much better for it.

Glad you like them @BlueSussex I actually sold/donated a lot of other tailoring because I just kept choosing to wear the Dai. A similar brand I haven't yet tried is ADAY which is activewear with a tailoring range www.thisisaday.com/collections/suiting-1
BangingOn I need to do the same. Spend more on the comfortable stuff that I'll spend most time wearing.

@Otherplans I realised I lot of my nice wardrobe was actually really comfortable- Baukjen jersey and Hush dresses are perfect for home working.

Lots of good ideas on this thread. I don't save stuff for best any more, I got out of that habit years ago, buy I started a thread recently because I suspected I was hanging onto old clothes too long. I felt guilty sometimes if I wore the new stuff. My tip if you have lots of fancy stuff and nowhere to wear it, is learn how to dress it down by mixing with more casual clothes then you can get away with wearing it during ordinary activities.

@marly11 I wear Uniqlo heat tech under my clothes in the winter and this keeps me really warm X

This used to be me. A wardrobe full of gorgeous fifties style dresses that I saved for best. Then I decided balls to it and started wearing them for work and I love it. No such thing as for best now just lovely clothes all the time

I think I'm gonna start getting my clothes out the night before, even though I'm only WFH. I used to do this when in the office and found it nice that I had a matching outfit for the day. Rather than rummaging around in a morning searching for jeans or whatever

I thought of this thread today as went through both of my wardrobes and have packed away 2 big suitcases worth of clothes, shoes and bags that I can’t see myself wearing in the next year. I’m going to do the same with my drawers tomorrow and then try to incorporate everything I’ve kept into my daily/weekly outfits. I think this will be possible as can actually see what I’ve got now!
grass I’m going to do the same - decide on an outfit the night before and hang it up ready.

I’m just the same. I was brought up to save things for best & it’s a really hard mind set to get out of.
But can I ask please, if you decide to get rid of some things that you don’t want to wear again but it’s still lovely, sometimes new but too small now, or just not for the life you have now, what do you do with them? Do you give them all to charity? I do with a lot but there are things that I spent a lot of money on & are still like new & I can’t really afford to just give away. Shoes never worn but have heels that because of injury I can now never wear.I’ve never sold clothes,the thought of eBay I find quite daunting.